Post your ridiculous dreams

[SteveGrabowski]

So last night I dreamed I was back in 7th grade but still my current age and it was the first day of school. As I'm walking to class in the morning after the first bell I bump into Louis CK and ask him what classes he has and he can't figure out his schedule. But I see he has Ms Moore for math and I say man she's smoking hot, but then I remember she'd be in her 50s now and I was picturing what 25 year old Ms Moore looked like when I went to school there in the early 1990s. Then Louis says this is stupid, why are we even in 7th grade again, and I say well I'm fucking 45 I can just go walk out and nobody can say anything so let's just go to the park next door and buy some weed. Then we're high as fuck and walk to Chuck E Cheeses to play arcade games and I find a Pacman game that doesn't have a normal joystick or buttons but instead you pee on the controls in different directions to move Pacman. Then I woke up having pissed the bed. OK not that last part, but I did go to the toilet and piss like a racehorse upon waking up.

 

[Red Squirrel]

It's freaky, I get very similar dreams often, where it's basically 1st day of school, or early in the school year, and I'm going back as an adult, and all my friends are there too. Typically the dreams for me revolve around not remembering where my locker is or what my combo is. But sometimes also not remembering where a class is. Or leaving class to go to the bathroom then not knowing how to get back. Lately when I get these dreams, I'm actually back in college, and they seem to revolve more around going to the cafeteria with friends to order food and go sit down. Some also involve being on the bus. But in general, get a lot of dreams related to school.

I had one where Bob Barker was doing a presentation at our class, but I was spending so much time trying to figure out my locker combination that by the time I got there the class was over and he was leaving, but I met up with him and shook his hand. That dream was so random.

I also have a version of these dreams where I'm sitting in class and then I get a sudden realization that I don't remember the last time I've been to math class. Then I'm fumbling in my zip up binder that I keep all my misc stuff in, trying to find my schedule to figure out when that class is, because it occurs to me that I have been just following everyone in my class and maybe they don't have math but I do. I eventually wakeup, and I'll be lying in bed still half asleep thinking "wait, when *IS* the last time I went to math? Oh wait, I'm done school now."

I seem to go lucid in these now, where I'll be trying to figure out my combination and be like "this is similar to those dreams I always get. Maybe this is actually a dream too?" In one of those dreams I broke the lock with my bare hands, then realized I was in a dream and like "Screw going to class I'm just going to explore" and started to wander into restricted areas like the boiler room.

 

[thestrangebrew1]

I had a dream the Buffalo Bills lost to the Kansas City Chiefs for some reason last night. I was all bummed out about it, even though I'm obviously a 9ers fan. I'm a Bills fan too, only because Allen's from the town down the street from me but def. not a die hard. Pretty random...

 

[SteveGrabowski]

I also have a version of these dreams where I'm sitting in class and then I get a sudden realization that I don't remember the last time I've been to math class. Then I'm fumbling in my zip up binder that I keep all my misc stuff in, trying to find my schedule to figure out when that class is, because it occurs to me that I have been just following everyone in my class and maybe they don't have math but I do. I eventually wakeup, and I'll be lying in bed still half asleep thinking "wait, when *IS* the last time I went to math? Oh wait, I'm done school now."

Maybe a couple years ago I had one I'm in math class in 9th grade and I'm thinking WTF am I doing sitting in freshman algebra for when I have literally done half the problems in Lang's Algebra and almost certainly know way more algebra than the teacher. Lang is a really difficult first year graduate level book that I bought for fun because I was bored with the textbook we were using in my undergrad algebra sequence (Dummitt & Foote).

 

[IBMJunkman]

I have been retired for 10 years. I recently have had dreams about things that happened at my employer prior to the one I retired from. 20 years ago.

 

[Muse]

I had a dream in which I asked myself if I was dreaming and the answer was that it was ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that I was NOT DREAMING. But I was.

 

[Lost_in_the_HTTP]

Mine just flat make no sense at all.

One recently ....

Traveling with three or four other people. One needs to stop for cash, so we hit an ATM. Message come up on screen about a problem with the account and the person needs to go inside. That ends up taking hours. The rest of us are stuck because that's the one driving. We're all wandering around and get separated. For some reason, I'm walking all through the very much larger than normal bank branch looking for the one person. But I'm walking freely behind the teller line, in and out of offices without question. A few times I see the person, but can't get to them to make contact to find out what the problem is.

Next thing, I'm in a cafeteria line and people are pushing and shoving to get to whatever is in the heat trays.



.....


Another finds me on a hill top among several houses with flood waters rising fast. But there are only about six people from among all the house in the whole area. Then it looks like we can see out over the snow caps of other 'hills' as the water suddenly dropps like somebody pulled a a giant drain plug.


----

Quite a long time ago, I had one where I was driving down a road and found myself driving inside a building. Not crashing through a wall or anything, just like fully normal between the desks as people waved.

 

[SteveGrabowski]

Last night I dreamed I had one of those kiddie toy cars you ride around the back yard except I modified mine so I could drive it at 55 mph and I took it out on the expressway. Don't really remember much else from it. I think it may have been my niece's pink Barbie car but I don't quite remember. I do remember thinking this is kind of dangerous driving this little thing on I-35.

 

[SteveGrabowski]

This is a long time ago, but one of my weirdest dreams was when I was in college and Jimmy Carter was coming to give a talk. So I dreamed that my roommate and I were eating breakfast tacos at a place in Oakland and then he points out the window and says oh that's MC Hammer's mansion. So I look and it's huge, then come back and see Jimmy Carter in the corner calmly eating his breakfast taco. Except he was in red sequined Hammer pants and matching outfit.

Picture Jimmy Carter in a shirt just like this one Gradey Dick wore at the NBA draft and with matching pants except they were Hammer pants.

Hammer pants:

 

[SteveGrabowski]

So here's a weird one. I dreamed I had a jungle gym in my backyard and I was hanging maybe 6 or 7 Dirk Nowitzki Mavs jerseys on hangers off it. And then my little 7 year-old nephew was saying wow uncle you have a lot of Dirk Nowitzki jerseys as in the dream his favorite thing to wear was Dirk Nowitzki Mav jerseys (he doesn't care about basketball in real life though). But instead of 41 all the Dirk jerseys had the number 5. Then my 5 year-old niece was sitting on the jungle gym with a box of brightly colored blue, red, green, etc dolphin shaped fruit snacks she was sharing with me. I think the #5 on the Dirk jerseys is because that's Stephon Castle's number and he's probably the non-Wemby Spurs rookie I have been most excited about since Kawhi Leonard in 2011. And the dolphin fruit snacks refer to the time I took my niece on a boat trip to see dolphins at South Padre Island a year or so ago. Also probably have to give some credit to the codeine I took last night thanks to a kidney stone creeping up on me.

 

[Lost_in_the_HTTP]

Some kind of crime thing.

The person (me?) was apparently some kind of deputy and had walked in on something. Two other officers had been killed and this one somehow survived. The rest of it was the scene afterwards and more people arriving, but no one was really helping this one, who was harmed somehow, but not bad. Then it drifts off to a small store of some kind serving up lunches ....

 

[SteveGrabowski]

Had a dream that Marie Schrader from Breaking Bad (Hank's wife) was a friend and she was having trouble renting a house because the landlord told her he didn't want some single childless cat lady in his place. So I went to her place to try to talk some sense into her dad who was pressuring her to remarry so she could get this house and I was trying to reason with him that her husband, the love of her life, was in the DEA and had just been murdered by this horrible drug dealer named Heisenberg and she needed time to mourn him but he thought I was lying and stormed out. Then Marie went to her bedroom to cry and told me she wanted to be alone so I laid down on the couch and dozed off while watching some youtube videos on my tablet with my headphones on and then when I woke up the leather band on my headphones had split and all the cushioning in it came out and it was super puffy and now I had this pair of giant puffy headphones.

 

[BoomerD]

 

[Red Squirrel]

This was a really weird one. So I was at some sort of restaurant/cafeteria/hall it was kinda an oddball room so hard to really classify it. There was this meal that basically looked like salsa on a large plate, and you would serve yourself from it to fill your own plate. I was getting ready to go sit down and decided on a spot and the chef happened to be there and he was going on about how it's such a good dish and getting ready to have some himself as he was on break, and serving others at that table as a courtesy while he was there. Then I realize I don't have a plate so I'm like "I guess it would help if I had a plate! I'll be right back." So I head to this closet where the plates were all racked on the very top. I couldn't reach but there was a counter with a sink right in front of the closet, so I just jump up so my knees are on the edge of sink and I grab a plate, my legs were sticking out behind me because of how I was positioned and I felt someone grab my ankle. I was just thinking about the food and wanted to go have some, so I shook it off like "whatever this is, not now". Never looked behind me to see what that was about.

I jumped off and walked back towards the table and had to walk behind a wall, that looked like it was just behind a bar or something, almost like an alley between the end of the room and a single wall. Could still see tables from behind there, it was not fully enclosed. Suddenly this shirtless and muscular bald guy just jumps me and puts me into a hold down where I couldn't move, not saying anything. In my head I'm like "am I being raped?". So I yell "RAPE!" loudly, then think, ok maybe that's overreacting. So I start yelling "SECURITY!" to try to get some attention as he just wouldn't let go. Because we were mostly out of view no one was coming and I just kept yelling it hoping some of the tables that can see behind there would hear and do something but nobody was budging. Then I woke up.

The most disappointing part of that dream is I never got to try that food.

 

[SteveGrabowski]

Had a dream my closest childhood friend (RIP) and I were playing basketball at the park I grew up by with Shaquille O'Neal and then all of a sudden we were all running from a guy spraying the place down with a Mac-10. We all got into the creek safely to escape the gunfire and the dream ended. It's kind of funny because in real life I was hanging with that friend when we met Shaq and shot around with him back when he was at LSU. We were like middle schoolers and he was about to go in the NBA draft so obviously we weren't actually running with him in a real game though lol. Imagine a sixth or seventh grader trying to guard this:

In real life that park had a few shootings (only was there to see one though) but I still played basketball there basically every day of my teens except cold winter days where nobody would show up to run. Would get in trouble if my parents found out I was playing there at night though lol.

 

[Lanyap]

I don't have an interesting one at the moment but I noticed that when I started taking a new beta blocker blood pressure medicine (Bystolic) a few years ago my dreams became very real and I remembered them with clarity. That was freaky but it is a known side affect.

 

[Charmonium]

Thankfully, I don't remember my dreams. Occasionally I do remember parts of one though and they're pretty boring.

 

[SteveGrabowski]

Dreamed I lived in this dump of an apartment next door to this fried chicken place I like (Bill Miller's BBQ). But the apartment was horrible and it was expensive as hell because my landlord was Mr Burns from The Simpsons. So I decided to move out because I had found a way better apartment that was cheaper, but as I go down the dark and dingy stairwell to leave I hear Monty Burns whispering to his friend "haha he can't leave" and the hallway leads right back to my crap apartment. So I climb out the window and down the fire escape but it goes right back to my apartment, and I again hear Burns snickering "haha this idiot isn't going anywhere". So back into that dark and dingy staircase I sneak up on Burns and shoot him in the back Luigi style and I finally get away from the apartment and stop for some fried chicken at Bill Miller's on the way to my new place.

 

[sandorski]

America's Hat turned into an Ushanka.

 

[Fkstick McDuff]

Had a dream recently that I played hockey for the Toronto Maple Leafs. I was their best player (ok, that's not much of a stretch), but I was unique because I was the only person in the league that didn't wear skates.

Worth mentioning, I actually had a vivid dream last March that Joe Biden won the American election. I thought "Holy shit, what if it's some kind of prophecy?"

Yeah, fuck that...

 

[Red Squirrel]

Lol I sometimes get dreams that I'm playing hockey, which is odd since I don't play it nor really follow it. In fact I had one recently, I was just skating on the ice not really realizing that I was in fact playing hockey. Then the ref called for a faceoff, then I'm like "oh crap!" once I realized I was in fact playing hockey, and I didn't even bring a hockey stick. So I skate to the bench and the coach hands me a stick. I get to the faceoff then the ref points at centre, meaning, I'm actually centre. Oh, ok then. I end up winning the face off and now my head is actually in the game and feel like I know what's going on now. The player that got the puck from me winning the faceoff passes it back to me and I score, then I woke up. I don't know what team I was playing for, but it was probably not the Leafs.

 

[JM Aggie08]

Stress-induced dreams:

1. I'm back in marching band, it's competition day, and I don't remember my music or my steps
2. It's the end of the year, either high school or college, and I have completely forgotten to attend a course all semester long and am TERRIFIED that I am going to be held back and not graduate.

I have those recurring dreams more often than I should.

 

[Muse]

Stress-induced dreams:

1. I'm back in marching band, it's competition day, and I don't remember my music or my steps
2. It's the end of the year, either high school or college, and I have completely forgotten to attend a course all semester long and am TERRIFIED that I am going to be held back and not graduate.

I have those recurring dreams more often than I should.

I think a pretty high percentage of people who went on to "higher education" get those dreams where they are in jeopardy of failing, missing an exam, all kinds of scenarios where the floor falls out from under them, so to speak. I've had plenty of those. Certainly the reoccurring dream of my life.

 

[Lost_in_the_HTTP]

I'm walking around a town and can't find out what the name of it is. People all over the place, businesses open and active, but no town name anywhere on any of the businesses' front doors where their addressees are. Even the Post Office only has the Zip Code showing, but no city or state names. Trying on the phone (apparently I have one with me) fails because of no cell service. For whatever rason, I don't think to, or don't want to ask people and make them think I don't belong there.

 

[SteveGrabowski]

I dreamed Balrog from Street Fighter II was dying of cancer but I wanted to visit him because I was an enormous fan and wanted to get my Balrog Sacramento Kings jersey autographed. He now lived in a dangerous African nation in the middle of a civil war where I had to navigate a complicated route paying off various warlords for safe passage. First snag was when I crossed the border into the nation a giant dust storm hit so we were instructed to ride our bicycles slowly and not make any sudden movements riding through a bunch of armed military. Then I got to an urban area and the building Balrog lived in was dangerous to navigate as it was on the border of two warlords territories and to get to his apartment I had to climb out of a window and across a balcony, then go back into the building through another window to bypass a checkpoint I'd never be allowed through. I don't remember anything after that other than the building being in terrible shape and the balcony I was walking across not being anywhere close to level.