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Post the most nerdy/geeky joke you know!

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mrSHEiK124

Lifer
Mar 6, 2004
11,491
2
0
Originally posted by: reverend boltron
What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

sqrt(-1/64)
LMAO, I feel uber geeky for getting that one as soon as I read it.

Originally posted by: Ionizer86
If I could be any enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes!
Good stuff :laugh:

 

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,599
17
81
Originally posted by: WhoBeDaPlaya
Originally posted by: dave518
I dont get it
d/dx (e^x) = e^x
d/dx (constant) = 0
d/dy (e^x) = 0 ;)
Yup, good old implicit differentiation.
Ugh.


As far as d/dy is concerned, e^x is a constant.

Oh snap.
 

Scarpozzi

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
26,008
1,511
126
An ATOTer meets a girl, takes her out on a date, then takes her back to her place and has GREAT PASSIONATE sex with her. She looks deeply into his eyes and says, "You are the most amazing guy I've ever met." .....then his mother wakes him up.
 

Demo24

Diamond Member
Aug 5, 2004
8,357
9
81
I don't get the ones where the engineer says "if one more enters then ___ will be empty".
 

RichardE

Banned
Dec 31, 2005
10,246
2
0
Originally posted by: DEMO24
I don't get the ones where the engineer says "if one more enters then ___ will be empty".
2 goes in, 3 comes out, so the tree has a value of -1 squirrel. So -1 + 1 = 0
 

xtknight

Elite Member
Oct 15, 2004
12,974
0
71
Originally posted by: RichardE
Originally posted by: DEMO24
I don't get the ones where the engineer says "if one more enters then ___ will be empty".
2 goes in, 3 comes out, so the tree has a value of -1 squirrel. So -1 + 1 = 0
Still confused... :confused:
 

RichardE

Banned
Dec 31, 2005
10,246
2
0
Originally posted by: xtknight
Originally posted by: RichardE
Originally posted by: DEMO24
I don't get the ones where the engineer says "if one more enters then ___ will be empty".
2 goes in, 3 comes out, so the tree has a value of -1 squirrel. So -1 + 1 = 0
Still confused... :confused:
The tree had 2 squirrels


So tree = 2

3 squirrels came out

tree = 2 - 3

tree = -1

To get the tree back to empty you add one squirrel

tree = -1 + 1

Tree = 0

therefore the tree is empty. :)
 

xtknight

Elite Member
Oct 15, 2004
12,974
0
71
Originally posted by: RichardE
The tree had 2 squirrels


So tree = 2

3 squirrels came out

tree = 2 - 3

tree = -1

To get the tree back to empty you add one squirrel

tree = -1 + 1

Tree = 0

therefore the tree is empty. :)
The joke couldn't be that bad, could it? :p
 

Howard

Lifer
Oct 14, 1999
47,988
9
81
Originally posted by: xtknight
Originally posted by: RichardE
The tree had 2 squirrels


So tree = 2

3 squirrels came out

tree = 2 - 3

tree = -1

To get the tree back to empty you add one squirrel

tree = -1 + 1

Tree = 0

therefore the tree is empty. :)
The joke couldn't be that bad, could it? :p
I like that joke. :(

I also like the one with the autoexec.bat.
 

gwrober

Golden Member
Sep 3, 2005
1,294
0
0
Originally posted by: KLin
Originally posted by: Lash444
How do you catch a bear?

First you dig a hole, and you fill it full of ashes. Then you surround it with peas. When the bear goes to take a pea, you kick it in the ash-hole.
That's not a geek joke.
Oh man that was funny!

:thumbsup:
 

bobsmith1492

Diamond Member
Feb 21, 2004
3,875
3
81
2 = 1. Proof: 1 = a number; 2 = a number -> 1 = 2!

Blonde math:

Solve: (1/n)sinx = ? Solution: the "n" cancels, leaving "six;" solution: six = 6!

Given: women = time x money; time = money -> therefore, women = money^2
Given: money = root(evil) -> sqrt(evil); -> women = (sqrt(evil))^2 -> women = evil!

 

Howard

Lifer
Oct 14, 1999
47,988
9
81
Originally posted by: TheChort
What do you get when you cross a mouse with an elephant?
Mouse Sin Theta Elephant
No good. There's nothing about orientation. Besides, who puts sin theta in the middle?
 

Syringer

Lifer
Aug 2, 2001
19,333
2
71
Originally posted by: npoe1
Originally posted by: Windogg
A real old one. Most kids won't get this one.

Q: What do you get when you cross Lee Iacocca with Count Dracula?
A: autoexec.bat
I did not get that :(
Lee Iacocca = former CEO of Chrysler = automotive executive = autoexec
Count dracula = bat
autoexec.bat = file that back in the DOS days that listed programs you want to start with your comp, like your startup folder currently.
 

iamaelephant

Diamond Member
Jul 25, 2004
3,816
1
81
Originally posted by: xtknight
Originally posted by: RichardE
Originally posted by: DEMO24
I don't get the ones where the engineer says "if one more enters then ___ will be empty".
2 goes in, 3 comes out, so the tree has a value of -1 squirrel. So -1 + 1 = 0
Still confused... :confused:
You're not a geek! Intruder! Intruder! ;)
 

Kyteland

Diamond Member
Dec 30, 2002
5,747
1
0
Originally posted by: Leros
Originally posted by: Kyteland
Originally posted by: Leros
Originally posted by: Kyteland
Why did Intel call their new chip "Pentium"? Because when you added 100 to 486, you got 586.657654132167...

What do you get when you cross a Lion with a Tiger?
A line perpendicular to both.

To an optimist, the glass is half full. To a pessimist, the glass is half empty. To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
I don't get the pentium one.
Not geek enough? :Q
I understand that, but I dont see what that has to do with the chip being named the Pentium. I mean... its a self referential thing. In the joke they called it a Pentium because Pentiums are known for exhibiting that behavior, but the origin of the name Pentium in the joke, is the same chip they are naming.
The joke isn't that the name is Pentium. The joke is that they didn't call it a 586. Their previous processors had been called 286, 386, 486. The real reason that they called it Pentium is that they couldn't trademark 586 and all of their competitors were using that already, ie "586 clone". The joke is: They tried to add 100 to 486 in an attempt to get 586, but kept getting 586.657654132167. So they gave up and called it Pentium.

Is it funny now? ;)
 

Tobolo

Diamond Member
Aug 17, 2005
3,699
0
0
Originally posted by: Lash444
Originally posted by: KLin
Originally posted by: Lash444
How do you catch a bear?

First you dig a hole, and you fill it full of ashes. Then you surround it with peas. When the bear goes to take a pea, you kick it in the ash-hole.
That's not a geek joke.
It is to me, I don't tell a joke anymore geeky than that!
No thats not geeky man, not in the least. However, it is retarded.
 

Tobolo

Diamond Member
Aug 17, 2005
3,699
0
0
Originally posted by: jst0ney
01010001 00111010 00100000 01001000 01101111 01110111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101110 01111001 00100000 01001101 01101001 01100011 01110010 01101111 01110011 01101111 01100110 01110100 00100000 01100101 01101110 01100111 01101001 01101110 01100101 01100101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01100100 01101111 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100011 01101000 01100001 01101110 01100111 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00101101 01100010 01110101 01101100 01100010 00111111 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01000001 00111010 00100000 01001110 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 00101101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01111001 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100011 01101100 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110010 01101011 01101110 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100100 01110101 01110011 01110100 01110010 01111001 00100000 01110011 01110100 01100001 01101110 01100100 01100001 01110010 01100100 00101110

LOL That is freaking great!
 

SparkyJJO

Lifer
May 16, 2002
13,357
6
81
Originally posted by: Tobolo
Originally posted by: jst0ney
01010001 00111010 00100000 01001000 01101111 01110111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101110 01111001 00100000 01001101 01101001 01100011 01110010 01101111 01110011 01101111 01100110 01110100 00100000 01100101 01101110 01100111 01101001 01101110 01100101 01100101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01100100 01101111 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100011 01101000 01100001 01101110 01100111 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00101101 01100010 01110101 01101100 01100010 00111111 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01000001 00111010 00100000 01001110 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 00101101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01111001 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100011 01101100 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110010 01101011 01101110 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100100 01110101 01110011 01110100 01110010 01111001 00100000 01110011 01110100 01100001 01101110 01100100 01100001 01110010 01100100 00101110

LOL That is freaking great!
I've gotten many of these in here, but I don't get that one :confused: is it ASCII code?
 

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