Post some cool tricks that you know of

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Rubycon

Madame President
Aug 10, 2005
17,768
485
126
If you find yourself up to your ankles in water in a basement and there's a toilet with a floor closet, forget pumping it out! Take off that toilet and watch that water get sucked right out of there.
 

oiprocs

Diamond Member
Jun 20, 2001
3,780
2
0
Originally posted by: Cerpin Taxt
Originally posted by: UILanMan
Sure most people know this one - most lazy guys do anyway. Toss a wrinkled shirt/pants in the dryer for a few minutes instead of ironing them, saves time.

Wetting a towel and throwing it in with the wrinkled item will improve your results.

How wet? Dip the entire thing in water, and throw it in, or dip it in, flush out the excess, then throw it in?

/zomg going crazy at the lack of knowledge
 

oiprocs

Diamond Member
Jun 20, 2001
3,780
2
0
Originally posted by: MotionMan
Originally posted by: chuckywang
When disposing of a human body, pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don't reommend that disposal method, I'm just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.

Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it's in the tub.

If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave.
That is the one thing you can't do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It's also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn't want to go. Anyway it's wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.

Don't return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.

Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you're get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don't try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don't over-use it, or power drills or saws. They're noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It's better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you're not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.

http://ask.metafilter.com/7921/

Gotta cite your sources. ;)

MotionMan

+1 for pwnage
+1 for uncanny intuition in knowing advice was plagiarized
-1 for signing every post when we already fvcking know it's your post through the sidebar :p
 

MotionMan

Lifer
Jan 11, 2006
17,124
12
81
Originally posted by: Oiprocs
Originally posted by: MotionMan
Originally posted by: chuckywang
When disposing of a human body, pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the

{snip}

http://ask.metafilter.com/7921/

Gotta cite your sources. ;)

MotionMan

+1 for pwnage
+1 for uncanny intuition in knowing advice was plagiarized
-1 for signing every post when we already fvcking know it's your post through the sidebar :p

Two steps forward, one step back. Story of my life.

(BTW - It is very helpful for searching, especially on Google, since AT search stinks.)

MotionMan
 

jagec

Lifer
Apr 30, 2004
24,442
6
81
Originally posted by: angminas
When discharging static, don't just slowly move your finger toward the metal until you get shocked. Tap it quickly and the shock won't hurt.

I can one-up that. When discharging static, grab your keychain out of your pocket. Grasp a key tightly in your fingers, in the normal way you would hold it, and touch the tip to the metal object. Pain-free.

There was this one area that would give me a truly murderous shock until I worked out that trick.

Originally posted by: MikeyIs4Dcats
Originally posted by: jagec
Originally posted by: MotionMan
Originally posted by: jaredpace
these may have been said...

never use payday advances

Fixed.

MotionMan

No kidding...why would anyone use payday advances? If you're that short on cash, it's better to put everything on a rewards card and pay it off when the paycheck arrives.

probably because people that use payday loans have no credit or bad credit, and either don't have a credit card, or have a secured card with 28% interest.

Been there. The solution is to stop spending, not to take out a glorified high-interest loan at a payday advance place. Almost no one seems to be able to live on a budget...

Originally posted by: MotionMan
I know jagec said "anyone" in the reply, but I was focusing on the typical ATOT poster. I find it hard to believe that, if you post here, that you have to resort to payday loans.

Maybe I have a misperception regarding the ATOT demographic.

MotionMan

I am of the firm belief that no one has to resort to payday loans.
 

MotionMan

Lifer
Jan 11, 2006
17,124
12
81
Originally posted by: jagec
Originally posted by: angminas
When discharging static, don't just slowly move your finger toward the metal until you get shocked. Tap it quickly and the shock won't hurt.

I can one-up that. When discharging static, grab your keychain out of your pocket. Grasp a key tightly in your fingers, in the normal way you would hold it, and touch the tip to the metal object. Pain-free.

There was this one area that would give me a truly murderous shock until I worked out that trick.

Originally posted by: MikeyIs4Dcats
Originally posted by: jagec
Originally posted by: MotionMan
Originally posted by: jaredpace
these may have been said...

never use payday advances

Fixed.

MotionMan

No kidding...why would anyone use payday advances? If you're that short on cash, it's better to put everything on a rewards card and pay it off when the paycheck arrives.

probably because people that use payday loans have no credit or bad credit, and either don't have a credit card, or have a secured card with 28% interest.

Been there. The solution is to stop spending, not to take out a glorified high-interest loan at a payday advance place. Almost no one seems to be able to live on a budget...

Originally posted by: MotionMan
I know jagec said "anyone" in the reply, but I was focusing on the typical ATOT poster. I find it hard to believe that, if you post here, that you have to resort to payday loans.

Maybe I have a misperception regarding the ATOT demographic.

MotionMan

I am of the firm belief that no one has to resort to payday loans.

I agree, but, for the sake of argument, I am/was willing to limit my statement to people who would see the advice given here.

MotionMan