Post-college life seems geared toward isolation

[Alphathree33]

I have a girlfriend but I only see her on weekends.

Weekdays, I do the usual "go to work 9 to 5-ish" thing, and I do enjoy my job... but it's hardly a replacement for a social life.

In college I met like 10 new people every day. Now I hardly meet one new person a week, if that.

I've always been a social dancer (met my girlfriend that way), so I still take dance lessons twice a week. And yes, I do meet a few people. And yes, I will probably build some new friendships out of that.

I'm also taking skating lessons and I have a swim coach. And yes, I do meet people this way too.

But it's just not the same. I can't imagine asking someone to just come hang out at my place and play some video games, or whatever.

It's like all post-college social contact is:
1) family
2) girlfriend
3) "formal" get-together that you plan weeks in advance i.e. having dinner at so-and-so's place, getting drinks with what's-his-name, and so on

But there doesn't seem to be a way to rebuild that easy, flowing social circle that there was in college. People are so... distracted. With what, I'm not sure exactly...

Something just isn't right about this whole setup. It's like you either get married and live with your significant other, or you spend most of your time alone or at work, and that's it.

 

[Saga]

Welcome to adult life.

It sucks.

 

[Sukhoi]

Yeah it's pretty much like that.

 

[spidey07]

:music:
Welcome.
Welcome to the machine.
:music:

Seriously, welcome to adult life.

 

[Alphathree33]

Originally posted by: Izusaga
Welcome to adult life.

It sucks.

So this is your experience too?

Geez, no wonder so many people rush to get married: apparently there's nothing else to life!

The things we settle for.

I refuse to get married simply because that's the only way I will have social contact for the rest of my life.

I can feel the corporate world slowly draining my soul... I can't help but wonder if happiness is better obtained without the whole corporate deal. I don't see how I'd be happier with a higher salary or a nicer title in this situation. Or at a different company. Or in a different industry. Or in a different city.

Because the basic facts of this existence would still be the same.

 

[jmcoreymv]

Save up some cash, move to a remote island and live like a king.

 

[Alphathree33]

Originally posted by: jmcoreymv
Save up some cash, move to a remote island and live like a king.

Not a bad plan except that I don't see how this is different from getting married =)

 

[radioouman]

The key to living a happy adult life is to make plans and achieve them.
Note that I didn't say "dreams", I said "plans".
Financial stability, putting down roots, etc.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33

Originally posted by: Izusaga
Welcome to adult life.

It sucks.

So this is your experience too?

Geez, no wonder so many people rush to get married: apparently there's nothing else to life!

The things we settle for.

I refuse to get married simply because that's the only way I will have social contact for the rest of my life.

I can feel the corporate world slowly draining my soul... I can't help but wonder if happiness is better obtained without the whole corporate deal. I don't see how I'd be happier with a higher salary or a nicer title in this situation. Or at a different company. Or in a different industry. Or in a different city.

Because the basic facts of this existence would still be the same.

Aren't you the same guy that has to "teach" his girlfriend on how to be an adult?

Guess it hasn't quite sunk in then.

If you now feel like corporate world is draining your soul after only a few short years, you are in for one HELL of a wake up call to adult life. Now GET TO WORK!

 

[Accipiter22]

I completely agree...i went to college, then had to take a couple years off, then just went back for a year and graduated. I have to say that those couple years off in between were very lonely. Oddly enough with how connected we're supposed to be with the internet and all, more and more people in surveys report feeling lonely than ever before. I don't know WHERE all the people my age worked for those couple of years but they made up less than 1% of the population at the places I worked at.

 

[lupi]

lol


oh to be young and naive again.

 

[KarmaPolice]

I don't know...I hope its not true since i am about to graduate. I don't plan to have a corporate job and I tend to make friends easily so I don't see this being a problem. I also plan to move to a complete new location and I am quite excited about it.

I know people love college, but I am quite sick of it. I am not a huge partier, I hate doing homework, I like getting paid....

 

[Platypus]

You just gotta find hobbies man, I meet new people constantly because I play guitar.

 

[GPett]

Get some hobbies. Play in a sports league. Have a poker night. Join a car club. Or anything where you have something to do after work.

Yeah, if you just do the 9to5 and go home life will be boring.

You did stuff after school right? Well do stuff after work!

 

[nonameo]

Wow, I feel better for not having much of a social life throughout my life. IOW, ignorance is bliss.

Maybe I can buy myself out of the 60hr workweek someday.

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: Izusaga
Welcome to adult life.

It sucks.

Yup. Especially if you live in the suburbs and all your friends live in the city.

 

[Alphathree33]

I do have hobbies -- as I said, dancing, skating, swimming. And I do meet people that way.

And I spend my weekends with my girlfriend.

But even adding those together, something still feels "missing" compared to the old college days

 

[Martin]

I've had much the same thoughts, and I don't know why everybody plays this cruel little game. People will tell you "oh, its just because you've grown up", well, "just because" is not an explanation, it's a pleasant way of saying "STFU and just play our little game".

Perhaps its why McDonald's is so popular - people seem to be willing to put up with nasty crap, as long as its easy and convinient. There really can't be anything easier or more convinient than being with the same person, doing the same things, going to the same places etc.

 

[Sentinel]

I realized this isolation too.

I moved to NYC to be with my girlfriend, she dumped me and moved to Vegas. I work with 5 guys all 45 and older. I don't know a damn person in one of the biggest cities in the world. This just recently happened, so I;m working on joining a few groups or classes. But it's difficult nonetheless.

 

[Platypus]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
I do have hobbies -- as I said, dancing, skating, swimming. And I do meet people that way.

And I spend my weekends with my girlfriend.

But even adding those together, something still feels "missing" compared to the old college days

Well I work 60+ hour weeks so I do what I can when I can. You're never going to have the same about of free time you did in school. My degree was a bitch so I didn't have a ton of free time there either but compared to now it seems like a ton.

 

[UF Matt]

Sounds like you want a dorm-like atmosphere. Or something like Seinfeld where friends stop by constantly. Sorry, but that is a pipe dream in this day and age.

You could always go to grad school.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
I do have hobbies -- as I said, dancing, skating, swimming. And I do meet people that way.

And I spend my weekends with my girlfriend.

But even adding those together, something still feels "missing" compared to the old college days

Feel that weight bearing down on you? Do you feel it? Crushing you like a grape?

It's called responsibility and earning a decent living.

As an adult you have responsibilities and things have to be scheduled/planned in advance. You can't just expect to call somebody and say "hey, let's goof off!"

 

[nonameo]

Now is the time to start your School of Useless Knowledge. (yes, intended to be abbreviated SUK)

bring back the good ol' days.

 

[Flyback]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33

Originally posted by: Izusaga
Welcome to adult life.

It sucks.

So this is your experience too?

Geez, no wonder so many people rush to get married: apparently there's nothing else to life!

The things we settle for.

I refuse to get married simply because that's the only way I will have social contact for the rest of my life.

I can feel the corporate world slowly draining my soul... I can't help but wonder if happiness is better obtained without the whole corporate deal. I don't see how I'd be happier with a higher salary or a nicer title in this situation. Or at a different company. Or in a different industry. Or in a different city.

Because the basic facts of this existence would still be the same.

Start a business. You are young enough that the risk is acceptable and you likely don't have any obligations unless you fathered some kids while in school.

Cut your teeth in the business world working for others for maybe two or three years all the while living frugally to save up money for a business. The two or three years you are doing that, figure out what business venture you want to try. Do all of the leg work included like researching, reading business texts, and learning business. Also, work as close as possible with management as you can or at least observe them in action (that is, assuming they are good..don't follow the dummies).

Perhaps start a couple smaller ventures while you work/before you quit the job and start the big one. It is better to fail when your income isn't on the line.

Becoming a proprietor is difficult and time consuming (definitely for the first year) but after that things become much more flexible. You can manage it so that you can sign up for a college course here or there to meet people.

OR you could continue to work for others for the next 30-40 years. Up to you

 

[Martin]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
I do have hobbies -- as I said, dancing, skating, swimming. And I do meet people that way.

And I spend my weekends with my girlfriend.

But even adding those together, something still feels "missing" compared to the old college days

Feel that weight bearing down on you? Do you feel it? Crushing you like a grape?

It's called responsibility and earning a decent living.

As an adult you have responsibilities and things have to be scheduled/planned in advance. You can't just expect to call somebody and say "hey, let's goof off!"

What are these crushing responsibilities I keep hearing about? With a few exceptions (first generation immigrants, people from broken homes etc) making a decent living is a trivial matter.