Sorry, I am stuck on acronyms. I kind of like the BMW ones.
ACURA
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia's Curse Upon Rural Americans
AMC
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophy
AUDI
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Break My Window
Break My Windshield
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Barely Moving Wreck
Big Money Waste
Born Moderately Wealthy
Bring Many Wrenches
Brings More Women
Broke My Wallet
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
DODGE
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It Again Tony!
Fix It All the Time
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
First On Recall Day
Fails On Rainy Days
Fatally Obese Redneck driver
First Obsolete Racing Device
Fireball On Rear Denting
First On Rust and Deterioration
Flipping Over Results in Death
Foot On Road Decelerates
Forward Only, Reverse Defective
Fork Over Repair Dough
Free Or Reduced Drastically
Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable