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geek4life

Banned
Oct 24, 2004
533
0
0
A woman with no legs and no arms is sitting on a beach.

And then a Irishman walks by and hears her crying and asks, "why are you crying?" and she replies, "becouse Ive never been hugged by a man before"
SO the Irishman gives her a hug and walks away.

AFter that and American walks by and hears her crying and asks, "what is wrong?"
she replies "Ive never been kissed by a man before."
So he gives her a kiss and walks away.

Then a Canadian walks by and hears her crying and asks "Why are you crying?"
and she replies, "Ive never been F*cked by a man before"

So the Canadian picks her up and throws her into the water and yells, "NOW YOUR F*CKED!"
 
funboy6942

funboy6942

Lifer
Nov 13, 2001
15,362
416
126
Polish guy walks into a store.
Walks to the nearest employee and asks for a Polish Sausage Sandwich.
The employee asks "Are you a fvcking Pollock or something?"
They guy says "Wait a minute if I was black and asked for black eye peas would you make that comment?"
Employee comments "No."
Customer "If I was I asked for a Taco, or asked for a slice of Pizza would you ever made that comment?"
Employee "No."
Customer "Then why is it I ask for a simple order and you go off making that racist comment for?!?!?"
Employee "Because your in a hardware store."
 
N

NogginBoink

Diamond Member
Feb 17, 2002
5,322
0
0
Q: What are dino-bandages for?
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A: For Dino-SORES, of course! :D
 
Drakkon

Drakkon

Diamond Member
Aug 14, 2001
8,401
1
0
There once was a little kid named Billy who loved clowns. I mean LOVED them. He had posters of them all over his wall and pictures of them everywhere. One day his parents took him to the Circus to see all of the clowns. He was so excited! He never saw one up close before! In the middle of the show, a tiny little car came out and out came 20 clowns! He was cheering so loud he couldn't speak for a couple minutes. Just then, the Leader of the Clowns took a microphone and asked for a volunteer. Billy raised his hand and shouted ''Me! Me!'' The clown looked around and said ''You!'' as he pointed at Billy. He was so happy!
Billy joined the clown on the floor. The clown looked down at him and asked, ''Are you the horse's nose?'' Billy said ''No...'' ''Are you the horse's ears?'' ''No...'' Then the clown got an evil look in his eye as he said ''Then you must be the horse's ass!'' The whole tent shook with laughter, and Billy cried his eyes out. He couldn't believe a clown made fun of him like that! He swore revenge!

Billy grew up, he went to college, got a job, got married, and had a few kids, but still never forgot what that clown did to him. One morning he saw an ad in the paper for the same circus, and decided to go. He knew the PERFECT insult to get him back! When he told his wife and kids he was going his kids asked if they could goto the circus with him. He calmly said ''No. Daddy has something he needs to do there.'' In the middle of the show, a little car came out and out came about 20 clowns. The crowd cheered, except for Billy. The Leader of the Clowns took a microphone. It was the same Clown! Billy was so excited that he could now get revenge!

The clown asked for a volunteer. Billy calmly raised his hand. The clown picked him! Billy joined the clown on the floor. The clown said ''Are you the horse's nose?'' Billy stayed calm and said ''No.'' The clown asked ''Are you the horse's ears?'' Billy replied ''No.'' Then the clown said ''Then you must be the horse's ass!'' Billy knew his time had come. As the crowd laughed and everyone cheered, his anger grew. Now was the time for revenge. He looked deep into the clown's eyes and said... ''Fuck you, Clown.''
 
Y

Yax

Platinum Member
Feb 11, 2003
2,866
0
0
Originally posted by: NogginBoink
Q: What are dino-bandages for?
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A: For Dino-SORES, of course! :D
Click to expand...

winnar!!! LOL.
 
Y

Yax

Platinum Member
Feb 11, 2003
2,866
0
0
Originally posted by: Drakkon
There once was a little kid named Billy who loved clowns. I mean LOVED them. He had posters of them all over his wall and pictures of them everywhere. One day his parents took him to the Circus to see all of the clowns. He was so excited! He never saw one up close before! In the middle of the show, a tiny little car came out and out came 20 clowns! He was cheering so loud he couldn't speak for a couple minutes. Just then, the Leader of the Clowns took a microphone and asked for a volunteer. Billy raised his hand and shouted ''Me! Me!'' The clown looked around and said ''You!'' as he pointed at Billy. He was so happy!
Billy joined the clown on the floor. The clown looked down at him and asked, ''Are you the horse's nose?'' Billy said ''No...'' ''Are you the horse's ears?'' ''No...'' Then the clown got an evil look in his eye as he said ''Then you must be the horse's ass!'' The whole tent shook with laughter, and Billy cried his eyes out. He couldn't believe a clown made fun of him like that! He swore revenge!

Billy grew up, he went to college, got a job, got married, and had a few kids, but still never forgot what that clown did to him. One morning he saw an ad in the paper for the same circus, and decided to go. He knew the PERFECT insult to get him back! When he told his wife and kids he was going his kids asked if they could goto the circus with him. He calmly said ''No. Daddy has something he needs to do there.'' In the middle of the show, a little car came out and out came about 20 clowns. The crowd cheered, except for Billy. The Leader of the Clowns took a microphone. It was the same Clown! Billy was so excited that he could now get revenge!

The clown asked for a volunteer. Billy calmly raised his hand. The clown picked him! Billy joined the clown on the floor. The clown said ''Are you the horse's nose?'' Billy stayed calm and said ''No.'' The clown asked ''Are you the horse's ears?'' Billy replied ''No.'' Then the clown said ''Then you must be the horse's ass!'' Billy knew his time had come. As the crowd laughed and everyone cheered, his anger grew. Now was the time for revenge. He looked deep into the clown's eyes and said... ''Fuck you, Clown.''
Click to expand...

:confused:
 
Fritzo

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,920
2,161
126
Originally posted by: Yax
Originally posted by: Drakkon
There once was a little kid named Billy who loved clowns. I mean LOVED them. He had posters of them all over his wall and pictures of them everywhere. One day his parents took him to the Circus to see all of the clowns. He was so excited! He never saw one up close before! In the middle of the show, a tiny little car came out and out came 20 clowns! He was cheering so loud he couldn't speak for a couple minutes. Just then, the Leader of the Clowns took a microphone and asked for a volunteer. Billy raised his hand and shouted ''Me! Me!'' The clown looked around and said ''You!'' as he pointed at Billy. He was so happy!
Billy joined the clown on the floor. The clown looked down at him and asked, ''Are you the horse's nose?'' Billy said ''No...'' ''Are you the horse's ears?'' ''No...'' Then the clown got an evil look in his eye as he said ''Then you must be the horse's ass!'' The whole tent shook with laughter, and Billy cried his eyes out. He couldn't believe a clown made fun of him like that! He swore revenge!

Billy grew up, he went to college, got a job, got married, and had a few kids, but still never forgot what that clown did to him. One morning he saw an ad in the paper for the same circus, and decided to go. He knew the PERFECT insult to get him back! When he told his wife and kids he was going his kids asked if they could goto the circus with him. He calmly said ''No. Daddy has something he needs to do there.'' In the middle of the show, a little car came out and out came about 20 clowns. The crowd cheered, except for Billy. The Leader of the Clowns took a microphone. It was the same Clown! Billy was so excited that he could now get revenge!

The clown asked for a volunteer. Billy calmly raised his hand. The clown picked him! Billy joined the clown on the floor. The clown said ''Are you the horse's nose?'' Billy stayed calm and said ''No.'' The clown asked ''Are you the horse's ears?'' Billy replied ''No.'' Then the clown said ''Then you must be the horse's ass!'' Billy knew his time had come. As the crowd laughed and everyone cheered, his anger grew. Now was the time for revenge. He looked deep into the clown's eyes and said... ''Fuck you, Clown.''
Click to expand...

:confused:
Click to expand...

I don't get it either :confused:
 
Hyperlite

Hyperlite

Diamond Member
May 25, 2004
5,664
2
76
A guy marries this chick named Wendi, and he gets "Wendy" Tattooed on his...yeah...when its...erect...
When it goes down, it just says "wy"
SO they go to jamaca on their honeymoon and decide to go to this nude beach.
They're walking down the beach and this black guy walks by. His d1ck has Wy on it also, so the husband asks the black guy, "oh, did you marry someone named wendy also? the black guy responds, "no, mine says Welcome to Jamaca, have a nice day"
 
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