is the op funny or am i laughing for no reason?
It Not a matter of "Funny" one of the problem of being ignorant is that most time One Does Not Know what he does not know.
Then people get one liner help, and it make it worse because Now they Know what they do not know and they get anxious (or depending on their personality aggressive).
About having a program to open port, the OP is Not wrong there this proliferating around.
http://www.majorgeeks.com/Simple_Port_Forwarding_d5996.html
The problem is that tool like this by luck helps very few, and contributes to leave many others with their ignorance, seeking for more snake oil.
In any case.
One care, how to open a port?
1. On the left side of the Windows Live OneCare display, click View or change settings.
2. Click the Firewall tab.
3. Under Other settings, click Advanced Settings.
4. Click the Ports and Protocols tab.
5. Click Add.
6. Type a name for the port.
7. Under Protocol click TCP or UDP.
8. In the TCP or UDP list, click TCP, UDP, or TCP/UDP.
9. In the Port Range boxes, specify a range.
10. In the Direction box under Settings, click either Inbound or Outbound .
11. Next to Scope, click either Internet or Local network (subnet).
12. Click OK twice.
Verizon FIOS Router Made Easy.
http://www.videojug.com/webvideo/how-to-set-up-basic-port-forwarding-for-the-verizon-fios-router
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