*POLL UPDATED*: *RANT* Woman Who TEASE "because it's FUN" *RANT*

[obiwaynekenobi]

I have a long time friend of mine that suddenly popped onto aim two days ago. and as she has been talking, she's been telling me about all of the men that she has been Teasing and just leaving hanging ( she justifies it to herself as tormenting someone) I went to Dictionary.com and Pulled up the Definition and threw it in her face.

tor·ment Pronunciation Key (tôrmnt)
n.
Great physical pain or mental anguish.
A source of harassment, annoyance, or pain.
The torture inflicted on prisoners under interrogation.


tr.v. tor·ment·ed, tor·ment·ing, tor·ments (tôr-mnt, tôrmnt)
To cause to undergo great physical pain or mental anguish. See Synonyms at afflict.
To agitate or upset greatly.
To annoy, pester, or harass.

and noted that she wasn't tormenting the guys she was being a tease and flirt, and her being 32, and 1 year divorced and is treating every man like her personal man slave isn't a way to get on with life. I told her that what she was doing emontionaly destroys every man she does it to in one way or another. and her response was "oh well I'm not hurting them." and I said something to the effect of "how would you like to be stripped naked strapped to a cross and paraded through the medals plaza During an awards cermony at the olympics? just to have everyone laugh at your mis-fortune? Make fun of you call you name and Degrade you? Would that be emontionaly Damaging enough for you?"

And she called me an a$$hole and logged off/

I *HATE* woman like that like HER (so much for being 'friends') I would post the extent of the conversation which I have saved to show to someone else I know, but It would proabaly get the thread locked.

So here is my Question:

Woman: are you or do you know someone like this? And WHY in the @#%$ do you or that person you know do it?

Men: Any open ideas stories or just generally want to rant piss and rave about it your more than welcome.

I am personally very very pissed off at her.

--edit-- Changed topic

 

[b0mbrman]

For the same reason we dip our toe in a pool before jumping in...

Also, I think a lot of men misinterpret non-signals as signals...

 

[TuffGirl]

What is a "Hibitual Habit"?


~EDIT~

Anyway, your poll is retarded because it doesn't take into account the women who don't tease or play mind games or think teasing is immature or a waste of time or stupid, etc. I also think you need a visit to dictionary.com.

 

[Optimus]

I think your friend has been hurt more than she lets on by the divorce, and is using "teasing" as a combined revenge and distancing tool for men.

She desires closeness and appreciation - she wants affirmation that she is still desirable, but does not want anyone to get close enough to hurt her again.

She is not over things and she needs to stop the behavior and take time for herself. Once she is happy with herself, she can begin to create proper, healthy relationships again.

 

[obiwaynekenobi]

<< For the same reason we dip our toe in a pool before jumping in...

Also, I think a lot of men misinterpret non-signals as signals... >>




Maybe I should Clarify.

She sends signels that she wants to take them to bed and to naughty things.

For example. According to her she has a room full a sexual toys. (No! I've not seen it) She tells me that She likes to take guys in there and tell them that maybe if they are nice to her that they will get to play with some of these toys. She said that some guys turn tail and run but most stick around, She has gotten free movies dinners and so on and so forth. she then told me that she got one guy into a pair of handcuffs, Cuffed him to the bed took his pants off and Left. She said that she went to work.

when she got back she let him go. Apperently he lost his job becasue of the no show.
She thought that this was funny she was laughing.

She isn't just teasing she is downright DECIEVING people.

 

[obiwaynekenobi]

<< What is a "Hibitual Habit"?


~EDIT~

Anyway, your poll is retarded because it doesn't take into account the women who don't tease or play mind games or think teasing is immature or a waste of time or stupid, etc. I also think you need a visit to dictionary.com. >>



maybe I shoudl check Dictionary.com before I answer this but if I remeber correctly a hibitual habit is something that you do almost without thinking.

That's is what the "I don't I think that teasing is mean" for. It covers all of that.


yEs I no my speling iz bab, I shold corect my miztaks

 

[StageLeft]

It's obviously to make themselves feel better about an inadequacy.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

<< Because Some woman need to Vaildate there feminity by Treating men like toys (for men) >>

I think it's best if I keep my mouth closed right now. Especially right now.

Nik

 

[TuffGirl]

<< I think your friend has been hurt more than she lets on by the divorce, and is using "teasing" as a combined revenge and distancing tool for men.

She desires closeness and appreciation - she wants affirmation that she is still desirable, but does not want anyone to get close enough to hurt her again.

She is not over things and she needs to stop the behavior and take time for herself. Once she is happy with herself, she can begin to create proper, healthy relationships again. >>

Well said and that's probably all true.

Obiwayne, you weren't being much of a friend by mocking her behavior. Try being understanding that she's in pain and what she's really doing is shielding herself from being hurt. Being in unhealthy relationships must've been damaging to her self-esteem and perhaps you can help with that by letting her know what you like about her as a friend and what her virtues are, etc. She needs to be happy with herself before moving on. Hopefully she'll realize that and if you can help her do that, that would make you a really good friend.


<< she then told me that she got one guy into a pair of handcuffs, Cuffed him to the bed took his pants off and Left. She said that she went to work. >>

OMG! That's what happened to George Costanza!! Anyone remember that episode?!

 

[Russ]

Those few women who do play these games would cease doing so if men weren't stupid enough to fall for it so frequently. Just start thinking with the big head instead of the little one.

Russ, NCNE

 

[obiwaynekenobi]

<<

<< Because Some woman need to Vaildate there feminity by Treating men like toys (for men) >>

I think it's best if I keep my mouth closed right now. Especially right now.

Nik >>



uh oh..

it's ok FFMC we all care!

 

[AreaCode707]

If she's laughing about that guy losing his job, she's a sadist, not a tease. Add an option to the poll for women who don't tease so I can vote.

 

[AUMM]

<< For example. According to her she has a room full a sexual toys. (No! I've not seen it) She tells me that She likes to take guys in there and tell them that maybe if they are nice to her that they will get to play with some of these toys. She said that some guys turn tail and run but most stick around, She has gotten free movies dinners and so on and so forth. she then told me that she got one guy into a pair of handcuffs, Cuffed him to the bed took his pants off and Left. She said that she went to work. >>



maybe she's just makin stuff up?

 

[Yeeny]

Speaking as someone who has been accused of being a tease, (because a guy bought me a Pepsi, and then asked me to get serious with him, when I said no I had "led him on" and was a "horrible tease") sometimes you guys take things that are harmless and get it into your head that it means something. Just because I say yes to a dance, does not mean I want to have your babies, and if you buy me a drink, that does not mean you get the title to my bed in return.

But if that woman was doing those things, that isn't a tease, thats just a very messed up girl.

 

[eakers]

boys do it too.

trust me.

i know very well.

anyways there is a difference between playful flirting and teasing.


*kat. <-- being teased and its DRIVING HER CRAZY.

 

[TuffGirl]

<< That's is what the "I don't I think that teasing is mean" for. It covers all of that. >>

No it doesn't. If I don't think teasing is mean, then I think it's ok.

Your poll still lacks an option for women who don't tease or play mind games or think teasing is immature or a waste of time (which it is IMO).

 

[Geekbabe]

<< Speaking as someone who has been accused of being a tease, (because a guy bought me a Pepsi, and then asked me to get serious with him, when I said no I had "led him on" and was a "horrible tease") sometimes you guys take things that are harmless and get it into your head that it means something. Just because I say yes to a dance, does not mean I want to have your babies, and if you buy me a drink, that does not mean you get the title to my bed in return.

But if that woman was doing those things, that isn't a tease, thats just a very messed up girl. >>




I agree that the woman that was the subject of the OP is messed up, but I also gotta say we need to add an option here, guys who consider the word "hello" to be a tease, or how about dudes who can't get a clue that the farking party is over, anybody want a couple dozen roses before I behead em and dump em in the trash?

and yes, I'm having a REALLY bad day here thank you very much !! lol...

 

[crystal]

I think your friend has been hurt more than she lets on by the divorce, and is using "teasing" as a combined revenge and distancing tool for men.

She desires closeness and appreciation - she wants affirmation that she is still desirable, but does not want anyone to get close enough to hurt her again.

She is not over things and she needs to stop the behavior and take time for herself. Once she is happy with herself, she can begin to create proper, healthy relationships again.

Two wrongs do not make it right. I still think she is a sadist little b*tch no matter what her reasons are. :|

 

[Hammer]

She certainly sounds like a sadist. Expecially is she enjoys the misfortunes she causes. That's not being a tease. A tease is more about receiving attention.

 

[eakers]

furthermore you cant get a guy by teasing him cuz then they only think of you sexually and if you really have feelings for someone you cant get dates with them by implying that you will do sexual favors for them.

but then again, ive been called a tease for talking to guys that talk to me at clubs. i dont see it as teasing i see it as not being a bitch.

*kat. <--

 

[obiwaynekenobi]

<<

<< I think your friend has been hurt more than she lets on by the divorce, and is using "teasing" as a combined revenge and distancing tool for men.

She desires closeness and appreciation - she wants affirmation that she is still desirable, but does not want anyone to get close enough to hurt her again.

She is not over things and she needs to stop the behavior and take time for herself. Once she is happy with herself, she can begin to create proper, healthy relationships again. >>

Well said and that's probably all true.

Obiwayne, you weren't being much of a friend by mocking her behavior. Try being understanding that she's in pain and what she's really doing is shielding herself from being hurt. Being in unhealthy relationships must've been damaging to her self-esteem and perhaps you can help with that by letting her know what you like about her as a friend and what her virtues are, etc. She needs to be happy with herself before moving on. Hopefully she'll realize that and if you can help her do that, that would make you a really good friend.


<< she then told me that she got one guy into a pair of handcuffs, Cuffed him to the bed took his pants off and Left. She said that she went to work. >>

OMG! That's what happened to George Costanza!! Anyone remember that episode?! >>




Maybe she's been watching too much Sienfield???? I don't know.

I tried to be understanding the first few days. She popped on for the first time in about 3 years, (last Wenday) and told me everything that had happened some I knew some I didn't. and I asked her what happeneed and I asked her why she "torments guys" like she does. and the only thing she could tell is "Because it's fun and I'm not hurting them" And I asked her if she'd gone and seen a counsler and she felt depressed or had low self esteem. and she'd been pretty open with me. What set me off today was the fact that she HANDCUFFED that poor guy Stripped naked on her bed and left for work. Just LEAVING him there for nearly 12 (Gotta deal with SLC traffic) he lost his job because of HER, and she laughed and thought this was hilirious, I thought it was mean demeaning demoralzing and I really hope he SUES her for it because atleast then NEXT time she would think twice before she does something like that again.

I honestly don't think that she's thinks that she has done anything wrong, She has no Conscience.

 

[pyonir]

obiwayne:
maybe you should help her before it gets too late. she is going to tease the wrong guy someday and that guy is gonna get his whether she wants him to or not. there are a lot of guys out there that are control freaks and will get what they came from rather than run away with their tail between their legs or just leaving with dignity. she is only going to get hurt in the long run...and unfortunately probably will be hurt physically.

 

[TuffGirl]

Whoa Obiwayne, kudos to you for trying but yeah I think she's beyond help too and needs professional help at this point.

 

[MichaelD]

<< Also, I think a lot of men misinterpret non-signals as signals... >>



I understand what you are saying and agree with you. To a point. What women (particularly young women) need to learn is that it is not "right" "proper" "acceptable" "socially OK" or whatever terminology you wish to impart to "tease." This is how bad things happen to otherwise nice girls.

There is a difference b/t:

A girl who goes out on a first date. Keeps her hands to herself, gives her date a goodnight peck on the cheek and gets raped b/c he thought she "was sending signals."

AND

A girl who is at a nightclub..in a skimpy outfit, drinking, snorting coke, dropping X, table dancing, groping the genitals of every guy she dances with...goes outside to her car and gets raped.


I know this isn't a thread about rape....but we all know that rape is usually the negative result when a girl teases too much. I'm not advocating rape....I'm just stating fact.

 

[Geekbabe]

obiwaynekenob,


I try to make it my business to mind my business where the love lives of my friends are involved,however when they dead up ask my advice I give it to em straight.Your friend has got some problems that might get her hurt if she runs into the wrong dude,to say nothing of the hurt she's inflicting on other people, I think I'd tell her straight up how you feel.