POLL: So when did you stop believing in Santa Clause

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B

Balt

Lifer
Mar 12, 2000
12,673
482
126
<<So when did you stop believing in Santa Clause>>


The day he backed out of the contract.
 
Azraele

Azraele

Elite Member
Nov 5, 2000
16,524
29
91
I don't remember exactly how old I was, but i do remember bursting into tears and calling my dad a liar. ..


And I'll stick to that, my dad lied! There IS a Santa! :D
 
R

RoninRXN

Golden Member
Sep 19, 2001
1,830
0
0
Last Christmas...when I didn't get Hyolee under the tree like I asked.

Dammit you fat bastard! I even said I didn't mind if she wasn't wrapped! You could've saved on wrapping paper!

...as much as I would've enjoyed "unwrapping" my present...
 
N

notfred

Lifer
Feb 12, 2001
38,241
4
0


<<

<< I never believed in Santa >>

I was raised with the "true" reason for Christmas.

Nik >>



you mean where the Catholic church was trying to convert a group of "sinners", so they took thier holiday, said Jesus was born on it, and said they were then practicing a Christian holiday?
 
F

fatbaby

Banned
May 7, 2001
6,427
1
0


<< After much research, we present the annual aeronautical engineers report on
the theory of Santa:

No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of
living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects
and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer, which only
Santa has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since
Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish & Buddhist
children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total -378 million
according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5
children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes that there's
at least one good child in each.
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with. This is due to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west
(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits/second. That is to say
that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has .001 second
to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings,
distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have
been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to
the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around
the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our
calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles/household,
a total trip of 75.5 million miles; not counting stops to do what most of us
do at lease once every 31 hours, plus eating etc. So Santa's sleigh must be
moving at 650 miles/second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of
comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe,
moves at a pokey 27.4 miles/second. A conventional reindeer can run, tops,
15 miles/hour.
The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that
each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 lb.), the
sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably
described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more
than 300lb. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see #1) can pull 10 TIMES
the normal amount, we cannot do the job with 8, or even 9, reindeer. We need
214,200. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the
sleigh - to 353,430 tons. This is four times the weight of the ocean-liner
Queen Elizabeth.
353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles/second creates enormous air resistance.
This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft
re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb
14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will
burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them
and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team
will be vaporised within .00426 of a second. Meanwhile, Santa, will be
subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250
lb. Santa, being very conservative in terms of guessing Santa's weight,
would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 lb. of force. If
Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now. >>



~fat
 
L

LakerGod

Platinum Member
May 19, 2001
2,477
0
0
I think i was around five. I told my parents that it was impossible for Santa Claus to exist. My parents didn't even try to deny it...haha.
 
LordMaul

LordMaul

Lifer
Nov 16, 2000
15,168
1
0


<<

<<

<< I never believed in Santa >>

I was raised with the "true" reason for Christmas.

Nik >>



you mean where the Catholic church was trying to convert a group of "sinners", so they took thier holiday, said Jesus was born on it, and said they were then practicing a Christian holiday? >>



:Q:Q:QWOW!:Q:Q:Q

I just had an INCREDIBLE idea!

Here's the plan...

First, you are to take your stupid, flame-war-starting, fvckheaded opinion, and, stuff it up your ass(after pulling your head out), and throw yourself into the nearest Asshole Can. Then, I shall laugh, and all will be happy.

Sound good?

Great!
 
L

Logix

Diamond Member
Jul 26, 2001
3,627
0
0


<< The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. >>


Mmmmm... barbeque reindeer!

Seriously, though, I can't remember when I learned it was all a sham. :(:|;)
 
E

Electrode

Diamond Member
May 4, 2001
6,063
2
81
I got my parents to tell me the truth about it when I was 4. Their excuse for these years of psychological abuse was that "it was fun". I wasn't entertained. I wanted to know why anyone would do such a thing to their children, and I still wonder.
 
S

SsZERO

Banned
Sep 3, 2001
369
0
0
And whoever disagreed with the church was imprisoned or killed for being a heretic. :) Ahh, religion...it disgusts me...but hey, that's people.

-= SsZERO =-



<<

<<

<< I never believed in Santa >>

I was raised with the "true" reason for Christmas.

Nik >>



you mean where the Catholic church was trying to convert a group of "sinners", so they took thier holiday, said Jesus was born on it, and said they were then practicing a Christian holiday? >>

 
N

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0


<< you mean where the Catholic church was trying to convert a group of "sinners", so they took thier holiday, said Jesus was born on it, and said they were then practicing a Christian holiday? >>

Um, no, you pigheaded bastard. I wasn't raised in the Catholic church. I don't agree with many of the Catholic church's teachings, but that's beside the point.



<< And whoever disagreed with the church was imprisoned or killed for being a heretic. :) Ahh, religion...it disgusts me...but hey, that's people >>

It's not "religion" it's "the Catholic church". Get it right. And, it wasn't "disagreeing with the church" that got you imprisoned or killed. It was disagreeing with the current king's wishes that got you that. Get it right *again*.

Nik
 
L

Looney

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
21,938
5
0
I got my parents to tell me the truth about it when I was 4. Their excuse for these years of psychological abuse was that "it was fun". I wasn't entertained. I wanted to know why anyone would do such a thing to their children, and I still wonder.

LOLOLOLOL i dont know why i found that funny... maybe it's because i'm freaking drunk.
 
C

Calcio

Senior member
Sep 28, 2001
253
0
0
you mean there is no Santa, Damn the explains why there was a big fat guy taking my T.V. out of the house.:|
 
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