POLL: Juvenile Diabetes

[athithi]

Does anyone have any personal experience with this disease? I checked the JDRF website and all they can tell me is that a person with JD will:

- have a shortened life-span
- require permanent and extensive medical care
- have to take several blood tests and several insulin injections daily (it is also known as insulin-dependent diabetes)
- might require amputation of limbs if ever injured
- will probably die as a result of multiple organ failures as they grow older

:Q

If someone wanted to marry a person who had say a mild case of JD (if there is something like a mild case), what should they expect? Consider the match perfect in every other regards - it really is

BTW, this is not about me Happily married 5 yrs as of tomorrow This is for someone I know.

 

[ShotgunSteven]

My sister got JD at the age of 12 or so, is 32 and married now, and is in the best shape of her life. It is not all gloom and doom like what you posted. She requires injections, but just uses an insulin pump rather than multiple syringes now. True, you have to watch what you eat, measure your blood sugar levels, etc., but it is not the end of the world.

 

[rudeguy]

ok...my son has type one diabetese...its very easily controllable...the only thing you really have to do is watch what you eat, check your glucose, and take a couple shots a day...and researchers say the cure is not far off...just a matter of years...so no...the fact that someone has diabetes should not influence the decision

EDIT: it also pisses me off very much when people make such horrible assumptions about people with diabetes...their lives dont revolve around the disease..as a matter of fact most people with type 1 diabetes are healthier than people who dont have it, because they closely monitor their carb intake and excersize....you would be surprised to see all the famous people who have type 1...athletes...movie stars...even a miss america finalist...people who have those bad symptoms are the ones who dont take care of themselves



</rant>

 

[vi edit]

It certainly can take it's toll, but modern medicine and better foods are really helping out. Really though, I think that it's highly individual based. I've got two cousins (brothers) that have type I juvenile diabetes. They both started on insulin around the age of 6. One of them seems to have endless amounts of energy and is a fireball, the other one is very small, think, weak, and lacking any sort of energy. They are both on insulin pumps now so the really don't have to keep injecting it multiple times a day.

So long as the person really takes good care of themselves and keeps very regular doctor checkups, then I wouldn't be *too* concerned. Once a person starts getting older, like over 50, then you need to be much more sensitive to medical needs as that's when a lot of the diabetes related side affects really start to become a very serious issue.

 

[Jzero]

Just about everybody dies of multiple organ failures as they grow older. I once dated a girl with diabetes. When we first started dating, she gave me tutorial on how to spot signs of trouble and how to respond. She is now 25 and doing fine. Yes, there may be complications later in life like amputation, or failing vision, but EVERYONE has complications as they get older.

If it works, then go with it.

 

[athithi]

Thanks for the responses - I was not sure if people would take this query seriously enough and that's why I kept details to the minimum. I don't know how many of you are familiar with the arranged marraiged system in India - it's where the boy's parents/family and girl's parents/family meet and quite literally arrange a marraige. My brother received a proposal from a girl who has juvenile diabetes and my parents, especially, my mom, are very reluctant. Diabetes is not all that strange to my family - my paternal grandmother died of it (at the ripe old age of 78, though). My dad suffers from it and so does another maternal uncle. But. we've never come across Type I diabetes and when I tried to find info on it Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation seemed to be good place to start. But I couldn't see anything promising there:

For this reason, people with type 1 diabetes must take insulin in order to stay alive. This means undergoing multiple injections daily, or having insulin delivered through an insulin pump, and testing their blood sugar by pricking their fingers for blood six or more times a day. People with diabetes must also carefully balance their food intake and their exercise to regulate their blood sugar levels, in an attempt to avoid hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) and hyperglycemic (high blood sugar) reactions, which can be life threatening.

Obviously, this is not very comforting and I couldn't in good conscience tell my brother or my parents that it's not that big a deal. The girl is everything my brother has been looking for and I just know it would work wonderfully for them. And from what I know of her hobbies, interests and lifestyle, she appears to be far more healthy than anyone I know - probably even my brother who is a sports freak himself In a corner of my heart I know I can, and I want to, ask my brother to go for it - but, God forbid, if something untoward happens later on, even if no one would blame me, I don't know if I would be able to take it I don't think he's ready yet - but if I get enough promising feedback that it's not going to weigh in too heavily in the marraige, I could probably ask him to atleast meet and talk to her (yeah, all this without even seeing her in person hey, you'd understand if you were born and brought up in India too!!!)

rudeguy5757, can you name a few celebrities who suffer from this? I know that kind of info is a bit shallow, but it is also more effective when I'm trying to give a fuller picture of what to expect to my parents.

EDIT:
I'd also like to hear from people who voted "NO". What is the biggest problem when it comes to living with someone that has JD?

 

[vi edit]

Obviously, this is not very comforting and I couldn't in good conscience tell my brother or my parents that it's not that big a deal

To us without it, it sounds like it, but after you've been doing these things for 5, 10, 15, 20, 30, ect years it just becomes part of your lifestyle and is second nature. You don't think about doing it, you just do.

If you want to have any concerns, or anything to be selfish about I guess, then one of the biggest concerns *I* would have would be the risks of my children getting it as well. But like many of us have posted, it is pretty well maintained and regulated and doesn't pose *too* major of a risk to anyone if they are diagnosed with it early enough and have the discipline to take care of themselves.

 

[rudeguy]

Originally posted by: athithi
Thanks for the responses - I was not sure if people would take this query seriously enough and that's why I kept details to the minimum. I don't know how many of you are familiar with the arranged marraiged system in India - it's where the boy's parents/family and girl's parents/family meet and quite literally arrange a marraige. My brother received a proposal from a girl who has juvenile diabetes and my parents, especially, my mom, are very reluctant. Diabetes is not all that strange to my family - my paternal grandmother died of it (at the ripe old age of 78, though). My dad suffers from it and so does another maternal uncle. But. we've never come across Type I diabetes and when I tried to find info on it Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation seemed to be good place to start. But I couldn't see anything promising there:

For this reason, people with type 1 diabetes must take insulin in order to stay alive. This means undergoing multiple injections daily, or having insulin delivered through an insulin pump, and testing their blood sugar by pricking their fingers for blood six or more times a day. People with diabetes must also carefully balance their food intake and their exercise to regulate their blood sugar levels, in an attempt to avoid hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) and hyperglycemic (high blood sugar) reactions, which can be life threatening.

Obviously, this is not very comforting and I couldn't in good conscience tell my brother or my parents that it's not that big a deal. The girl is everything my brother has been looking for and I just know it would work wonderfully for them. And from what I know of her hobbies, interests and lifestyle, she appears to be far more healthy than anyone I know - probably even my brother who is a sports freak himself In a corner of my heart I know I can, and I want to, ask my brother to go for it - but, God forbid, if something untoward happens later on, even if no one would blame me, I don't know if I would be able to take it I don't think he's ready yet - but if I get enough promising feedback that it's not going to weigh in too heavily in the marraige, I could probably ask him to atleast meet and talk to her (yeah, all this without even seeing her in person hey, you'd understand if you were born and brought up in India too!!!)

rudeguy5757, can you name a few celebrities who suffer from this? I know that kind of info is a bit shallow, but it is also more effective when I'm trying to give a fuller picture of what to expect to my parents.

EDIT:
I'd also like to hear from people who voted "NO". What is the biggest problem when it comes to living with someone that has JD?

your opinion on people with diabetes offends me...but I understand it....I dont have the names in front of me...all I remember is when my son was diagnosed we got basically a 200 page FAQ book...and it listed some people who have type 1...I am sure if you go to a diabetes chat like

childrenwithdiabetes.com they can give you specific names

 

[djheater]

Read this book

Let me know if you want more info.

 

[athithi]

your opinion on people with diabetes offends me...but I understand it....

I can understand that this is an extremely sensitive issue for you so, I'll spare the belaboured explanations on my behalf. Thanks for your inputs.

 

[Azraele]

If they love each other....:heart:

 

[rudeguy]

Originally posted by: Azraele
If they love each other....:heart:

and if they dont

:beer:

 

[Entity]

I've had type-one (insulin dependent; also known as Juvenile Diabetes) for 9 years now; it isn't an issue as long as you control it.

It doesn't control my life. I control it.

PM me if you have questions. It would be a tragedy for a relationship to end merely because one person has Type-1 Diabetes (it is no longer called Juvenile Diabetes, for the record). I hiked the Pacific Crest Trail (2,653 miles) two years ago as a benefit for the American Diabetes Association.

Rob

 

[Entity]

Originally posted by: athithi
EDIT:
I'd also like to hear from people who voted "NO". What is the biggest problem when it comes to living with someone that has JD?

Voting "no" is likely a sign of being misinformed, at best.

The biggest problem of living with someone that has diabetes, I guess, would be that we get slightly irritable when we have high sugars. That's really about it.

Rob

 

[jagr10]

I have jd and have had it for several years. As long as you control it you're pretty much fine. The only thing to watch for if you're getting married is if you'd want your kids to have diabetes. If that's an issue then don't marry someone with it. You really shouldn't look at stuff like that in life, but people do so that's why i'm mentioning it.

 

[Entity]

Originally posted by: jagr10
I have jd and have had it for several years. As long as you control it you're pretty much fine. The only thing to watch for if you're getting married is if you'd want your kids to have diabetes. If that's an issue then don't marry someone with it. You really shouldn't look at stuff like that in life, but people do so that's why i'm mentioning it.

There hasn't been any sort of causal link shown that it passes down through the generations, to my knowledge. There is believed to be a genetic link, but that doesn't really give much credence to the thought that "you shouldn't marry someone" because they might pass it down to their kids. The likelihood is very small. Just FYI, we know of no person in my family (on my father or mother's side), other than me, who has type-1 diabetes.

Rob

 

[CTho9305]

Having kids with someone with a disease that may be genetic slows evolution. But I'd probably fall to emotions over reason

 

[rudeguy]

Originally posted by: Entity

Originally posted by: jagr10
I have jd and have had it for several years. As long as you control it you're pretty much fine. The only thing to watch for if you're getting married is if you'd want your kids to have diabetes. If that's an issue then don't marry someone with it. You really shouldn't look at stuff like that in life, but people do so that's why i'm mentioning it.

There hasn't been any sort of causal link shown that it passes down through the generations, to my knowledge. There is believed to be a genetic link, but that doesn't really give much credence to the thought that "you shouldn't marry someone" because they might pass it down to their kids. The likelihood is very small. Just FYI, we know of no person in my family (on my father or mother's side), other than me, who has type-1 diabetes.

Rob

it is a genetic thing...both parents have to have the right (or wrong would probably be a better word) gene...and then it doesnt always surface...btw...big thanks for the charity work with ADA!!!

 

[athithi]

Originally posted by: Entity

Originally posted by: athithi
EDIT:
I'd also like to hear from people who voted "NO". What is the biggest problem when it comes to living with someone that has JD?

Voting "no" is likely a sign of being misinformed, at best.

The biggest problem of living with someone that has diabetes, I guess, would be that we get slightly irritable when we have high sugars. That's really about it.

Rob

The nay sayers haven't had a word of explanation yet and it's increasingly making me think that it's probably not that big an issue. For people that are wondering why it should even be an issue, leave alone a big one, please understand that I am in some kind of position to influence my brother's opinion. I don't want him to miss out on an ideal partner based on imagined fears (from my parents or other elders in the family). At the same time, I don't want him to take a life decision based on my advice and then have him regret it later. It would spoil the marraige and it would definitely affect my relationship with him. There is no relationship here between him and this girl yet - it would be a typical modern day Indian arranged marraige.

Three Steps to a successfully arranging a marraige in India:

Step 1: Boy's parents meet girl's parents,
Step 2: If no astrological/social/health issues, boy and girl proceed to check out each other
Step 3: If no issues between each other, they say yes, a date is fixed, they get married and live happily ever after.

The process has halted at Step 2 due to the health factor and I am trying to find ways to get beyond that. I am fairly confident that Step 3 will go ahead smoothly, at least where compatibility is concerned

Why do I worry that it might be turn out adversely? Initially, I had no information about Type I diabetes. So, I went to what I presumed would be an authoritative source. The information that I found there was very discouraging in the sense that if I were to present this information to the other people involved in the decision-making process, there is no way they are going to proceed with the alliance. I am keen on the alliance and hence I wanted to take it one step further and find out from people who might have experienced it first-hand and this forum provides me with the broadest target I can find in a short span of time. This thread has given me new hope and I will be forwarding the responses from here (anonymous, of course) to my parents and my brother. Ok, there's my belaboured explanation I was trying to avoid it because I felt it kind of trivialized the larger issue of Type I diabetes itself. However, I had a very specific reason why questions about this condition came up in my life and there's simply no working around that fact If anyone found it offensive despite my explanation, please accept my sincere apologies.

 

[rudeguy]

thank you for being a wise man and keeping your mind open

 

[StageLeft]

I said yes because truly you can't take what you consider to be your "soul mate" or at least a very near perfect match and say "sorry because of this I can't marry you". JD can be controlled decently especially if the person is very careful with their lifestyle.

 

[StageLeft]

What I do have to say is that it seems your brother should not be marrying this person. Not because they have Type I diabetes, but because your brother is clearly far, far too immature to be getting married. The reason? It seems you have an overwhelming say in whether he does or not. Respecting one's family in these things is one thing but it sounds like you have almost as much say in the matter as him. Once he's a grown adult then he can make this decision for himself.

 

[athithi]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
What I do have to say is that it seems your brother should not be marrying this person. Not because they have Type I diabetes, but because your brother is clearly far, far too immature to be getting married. The reason? It seems you have an overwhelming say in whether he does or not. Respecting one's family in these things is one thing but it sounds like you have almost as much say in the matter as him. Once he's a grown adult then he can make this decision for himself.

Skoorb, he's older to me by 1 year It's bit more complex than that. He takes my opinions seriously - the three of us brothers have grown up like that - we trust each other the most when it comes to giving advice on each other's lives. But it is definitely not a situation where he will blindly marry her just because I felt it was ok for him to do so or vice-versa. If at all I am doing this research, it is because I don't want my parents misinformed opinions to be the only input he is getting on this subject. Of course, it being his marraige, he should really be the one asking the questions and polling But since he is not doing it, I am doing it for him. Wouldn't you want to do something like that for your brother or sister? It is a simple process of collecting information and providing it to him. And my influence is limited to the extent that any info that I give him is weighed far more seriously than any information that others may give him.

 

[StageLeft]

But since he is not doing it, I am doing it for him.

So either it's not important to him or yet again he shouldn't be getting married anyway. If this chick was going to die in 3 months then I can understand some family opinion on the matter - though it would still be his decision, but Type I is a very common and very livable illness. I fail to understand why it's such a big deal with the family. If I wanted to marry somebody and my family was even _bringing it up_ the fact that she had an illness - and not a deathly one even - I would be grossly offended. It's just not their business to recommend me against marrying somebody because she may be sick.

What are your parents saying? Not to marry her because she's sick? That's got to be doing a number on even the slightest chance of him enjoying the wedding and now he'll know that his family will always see his wife as the sick wife that's going to die.

 

[athithi]

but Type I is a very common and very livable illness. I fail to understand why it's such a big deal with the family

...precisely because they don't know that Type I is a very common and very liveable illness. Look, I'm sorry that you find it so hard to believe that people can be ignorant about these things. But they are. I was, even after doing a bit of research on the condition. Until I started to hear from people that actually have it or are living with someone that has it.

The whole point of an arranged marraige is that the elders in the family apply a certain set of rules and as far as they are concerned this alliance is failing one of them - that the girl be healthy. I now know that having Type I and being unhealthy can be two entirely different things. My parents don't know this yet. This thread is to find out how people deal with Type I and if it is such a difficult thing to live with after all. The overwhelming response seems to be, "No, not that big an issue". Now, I'm educated and I will try to educate my parents. HOWEVER, the situations is NOT such that he already knows the girl and wants to marry her and my parents are preventing him from doing so. He would be interested in considering marrying her IF my parents want him to marry her. That is how an arranged marraige works. He is also concerned about the health aspect, because he is also uneducated about it. I will be passing along the information from this thread on to him too. I think your real problem is with the concept of arranged marraiges. Trust me, I don't believe in them either. I met and wooed and won my bride's hand fair and square