Poll: is it too much to ask...

[nativesunshine]

when a guy or girl demands that the person they are seeing stop talking/having contact with their ex's?


did that make sense?

yea...is it too much to ask/wrong?

was just wondering b/c a lot of people i know have been in that situation where they were told that they aren't allowed to speak with their ex's...

wondering what you guys think.

vote in the poll..but either way, replies are welcome and appreciated.

 

[vi edit]

Completely situational.

 

[Linflas]

I think it is absurd to pretend that your significant other lived in a vacuum prior to your arrival.

 

[newbiepcuser]

Originally posted by: vi_edit
Completely situational.

 

[DrNoobie]

Heil Hitler.
Don't try to control their life, trust them and let them do what they want to do.

 

[mugs]

Definitely situational...

 

[gururu]

demands are not healthy. it (contacting exes) can be viewed as a serious flaw if it is not acceptable by the other partner and should influence whether that partner wishes to stay in the relationship. I'd rather date a chick who does drugs than a chick who needed time with exes.
Luckily I don't have to choose!

 

[NutBucket]

I would want to see my ex (s) anyway so that's fine by me. To me, they're the ex for a reason and I wouldn't worry about my girl running to an ex.

 

[bradruth]

Originally posted by: newbiepcuser

Originally posted by: vi_edit
Completely situational.

 

[jjones]

Yes, it is too much to ask.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: gururu
demands are not healthy. it (contacting exes) can be viewed as a serious flaw if it is not acceptable by the other partner and should influence whether that partner wishes to stay in the relationship. I'd rather date a chick who does drugs than a chick who needed time with exes.
Luckily I don't have to choose!

 

[nwfsnake]

Paraphrase of Princess Leia to Vader: "The tighter you squeeze, the more slips through your fingers"

 

[Sideswipe001]

It would bother me if my GF's ex was trying to win her back.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: NutBucket
I would want to see my ex (s) anyway so that's fine by me. To me, they're the ex for a reason and I wouldn't worry about my girl running to an ex.

Well girls don't exactly act rationally all of the time... But IF they have to run back to an ex then obviously your relationship was flawed in the first place, so you're better off. So if you feel like you need to demand that she doesn't see her ex, your relationship is probably doomed anyway. And if she feels the need to maintain a friendship with her ex, then she probably has issues as well... Yeah, like I said, girls rarely act rationally.

 

[minendo]

That just makes it even more desirable to cheat with the ex.

 

[dullard]

The TV show Friends covered this issue quite nicely (I use this as an example since most people have seen the show). Ross was asked not to see Rachel anymore. However since they are all friends and always hang out together as a group, that means Ross was basically asked to never see any of his friends (including his sister) ever again. Ross couldn't handle that unreasonable request and things went majorly downhill.

Here is the situational part:
1) If Ross had no interest in Rachel, then it would be a completely bad thing to request - nothing could be gained and everything can be lost.
2) If Ross had interest in Rachel still, then it causes a big mess (but you honestly have bigger issues as to why your boyfriend/girlfriend still is in love with another).

Conclusion: things are worse no matter what if you ask, but you might reveal even greater problems that you didn't know of before by asking.

 

[NutBucket]

Originally posted by: mugsywwiii

Originally posted by: NutBucket
I would want to see my ex (s) anyway so that's fine by me. To me, they're the ex for a reason and I wouldn't worry about my girl running to an ex.

Well girls don't exactly act rationally all of the time... But IF they have to run back to an ex then obviously your relationship was flawed in the first place, so you're better off. So if you feel like you need to demand that she doesn't see her ex, your relationship is probably doomed anyway. And if she feels the need to maintain a friendship with her ex, then she probably has issues as well... Yeah, like I said, girls rarely act rationally.

Exactly. I would take that as a sign that somethings gone awry. Hence I'm not worried about it

 

[miniMUNCH]

Originally posted by: vi_edit
Completely situational.

Yep...no way to blanket this statement.

 

[fumbduck]

pics

 

[bleeb]

Yes. PICS and I agree it's completely situational and also depends on the couple and what type of relationship they have and what kind of boundaries each other has definited and set.

I know a few people who still talk to their ex's or still contact friends of the opposite sex. Heck, they even hang out (everyone).

Then, there are a few who like to be drama queens like in MTV's Real World San Diego and bitch about not paying enough attention to them. etc.

 

Originally posted by: vi_edit
Completely situational.

 

[TitanDiddly]

Two sides to the issue:
-Does (s)he not trust you enough?
-Why do you want to talk* with your exes, assuming the relationship is broken off?

*This is hard to phrase. It could go many ways, depending on how you and your exes feel about each other- bitter, neutral, aroused, etc.

And :camera:s, please!

 

[Balt]

If he/she is going to shag with his/her ex, you might as well know about it before the relationship gets too serious. You either trust them or you don't.