POLL: Do separations work (if trying to stave off a divorce)?

[StageLeft]

My assertion is that they basically never do, and are just a way for two people to let things go a little slower. It seems to me that if you need a separation to start not hating each other again you would probably do best never to get back together. What do you think?

 

[Ness]

It's entirely situational.

The saying goes that absence makes the heart grow fonder, in some cases this couldn't be more true.

However, in the MAJORITY of cases, seperation occurs because two people are too afraid to admit that they don't love each other anymore.

 

[Kadarin]

I agree. Separation usually means that the partner initiating the separation wishes to check out his/her options.

 

[Brutuskend]

Dibs on Mrs. Skoorb!!

 

[Ness]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Dibs on Mrs. Skoorb!!

Dibs on skoorb.


(He'd make a great wingman! ... nothing more.)

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: ness1469

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Dibs on Mrs. Skoorb!!

Dibs on skoorb.


(He'd make a great wingman! ... nothing more.)

Well, at least somebody would still love me I am actually just asking the question because I remember even as a kid thinking that separations were a dumb idea, and I still have that opinion of it, so I wanted to know if there was any evidence (based on an unscientific AT poll) against my thoughts.

 

[y2kc]

It worked for my marriage. My wife and I were at a place where we weren't ready to respect the differences that developed as we both grew individually. We decided to separate for a while in the hopes of gaining a new perspective, or to see if we preferred the peace of solitude. To make a long story short, we got back together after a few months and we have since gotten along and grown closer than we have been in years (despite our differences).

edit: i'm still voting no as i firmly believe we are the exception, not the rule.

 

[Gravity]

Seperations and their success/failure are NOT situational. Over 80% of peeps that physically seperate will never reunite. That includes peeps in counseling and these stats are irregardless of religion, race or economic status.

Avoid it if you can. Try counseling while still together. Seperations should be a last resort or safety contingencys but it most often marks the beginning of the end.

 

[Mookow]

worked for my parents...

 

[GTaudiophile]

As much as two people may love each other (like Mr. & Mrs. Skoorbie), I still think there is such thing as having too much time with someone, especially if they both work for the same company/at the same office. Wives need to let their husbands have a "guy's night out" from time to time as husbands need to allow the same.

I know two forum members whose wives let them host LAN parties, which seems ideal to me: guys get together, drink beer, have a barbeque, play games all day, and the wife is right upstairs, not far away.

If and when I do get married, I still think I'll need some alone time at home every once in a while, being the introvert that I am.

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile
As much as two people may love each other (like Mr. & Mrs. Skoorbie), I still think there is such thing as having too much time with someone, especially if they both work for the same company/at the same office. Wives need to let their husbands have a "guy's night out" from time to time as husbands need to allow the same.

I know two forum members whose wives let them host LAN parties, which seems ideal to me: guys get together, drink beer, have a barbeque, play games all day, and the wife is right upstairs, not far away.

If and when I do get married, I still think I'll need some alone time at home every once in a while, being the introvert that I am.

I agree with you. According to the book "His Needs, Her needs." The man's top 3 needs (not in order) are sex, honor and recreational fellowship.

The womans top need is security.

Just a factoid.

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile
As much as two people may love each other (like Mr. & Mrs. Skoorbie), I still think there is such thing as having too much time with someone, especially if they both work for the same company/at the same office. Wives need to let their husbands have a "guy's night out" from time to time as husbands need to allow the same.

I know two forum members whose wives let them host LAN parties, which seems ideal to me: guys get together, drink beer, have a barbeque, play games all day, and the wife is right upstairs, not far away.

If and when I do get married, I still think I'll need some alone time at home every once in a while, being the introvert that I am.

I agree with you. According to the book "His Needs, Her needs." The man's top 3 needs (not in order) are sex, honor and recreational fellowship.

The womans top need is security.

Just a factoid.

 

[ohtwell]

I don't think they do work. Being seperated is the first phase of getting a divorce.


: ) Amanda

 

[ohtwell]

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile
As much as two people may love each other (like Mr. & Mrs. Skoorbie), I still think there is such thing as having too much time with someone, especially if they both work for the same company/at the same office. Wives need to let their husbands have a "guy's night out" from time to time as husbands need to allow the same.

I know two forum members whose wives let them host LAN parties, which seems ideal to me: guys get together, drink beer, have a barbeque, play games all day, and the wife is right upstairs, not far away.

If and when I do get married, I still think I'll need some alone time at home every once in a while, being the introvert that I am.

You are right! Every married couple needs their time away from eachother. When you spend every waking hour with someone you end up not communicating, because you have nothing new to talk about. My hubby can have a guys night out when ever he wants. I'm not the type of girl who wants my hubby to miss out on the chance to have fun with his friends, because I want him home with me. As long as he doesn't get drunk and drive home, I'm fine!


: ) Amanda

 

[poopaskoopa]

Didn't work for my parents.

 

[Pepsi90919]

my parents were seperated for 17 years before they divorced

 

[Red]

About 6 months into our relationship, we simply decided we were spending too much time together (same job, same classes at school, all free together... basically 24/7 except we didn't sleep in the same bed) and it was bad for both of us because we didn't spend so much time with friends. Once we started hanging out with friends again our relationship grew closer. We were madly in love (and still are!) but we were still in the infatuation stage and luckily it matured out of that.

 

[Descartes]

Originally posted by: Gravity

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile
As much as two people may love each other (like Mr. & Mrs. Skoorbie), I still think there is such thing as having too much time with someone, especially if they both work for the same company/at the same office. Wives need to let their husbands have a "guy's night out" from time to time as husbands need to allow the same.

I know two forum members whose wives let them host LAN parties, which seems ideal to me: guys get together, drink beer, have a barbeque, play games all day, and the wife is right upstairs, not far away.

If and when I do get married, I still think I'll need some alone time at home every once in a while, being the introvert that I am.

I agree with you. According to the book "His Needs, Her needs." The man's top 3 needs (not in order) are sex, honor and recreational fellowship.

The womans top need is security.

Just a factoid.

More like an opinionoid

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: Descartes

Originally posted by: Gravity

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile
As much as two people may love each other (like Mr. & Mrs. Skoorbie), I still think there is such thing as having too much time with someone, especially if they both work for the same company/at the same office. Wives need to let their husbands have a "guy's night out" from time to time as husbands need to allow the same.

I know two forum members whose wives let them host LAN parties, which seems ideal to me: guys get together, drink beer, have a barbeque, play games all day, and the wife is right upstairs, not far away.

If and when I do get married, I still think I'll need some alone time at home every once in a while, being the introvert that I am.

I agree with you. According to the book "His Needs, Her needs." The man's top 3 needs (not in order) are sex, honor and recreational fellowship.

The womans top need is security.

Just a factoid.

More like an opinionoid

Opinion my ass. That's a Truthoid.

- M4H

 

[dullard]

In most cases, no. But I know of two cases in particular.
1) When I was dating the woman who is now my wife we had a 3 month separation after dating 3 years. It was entirely her choice. We were discussing marriage and I was the only man she had ever dated. She panicked and wanted out for a while to think about things. Hardest 3 months of my life. We did get back together and things are happilly ever after. However this separation is not typical. We weren't married yet, we weren't living together, and we didn't want to date other people. It was just one person panicking.
2) My in-laws separated for about 2 months. My father-in-law was a huge alcoholic and began getting heavilly into drugs. My mother-in-law tried everything to get him sober but failed. Things began to get ugly and she kicked him out. After 1 month of separation he attempted suicide and failed (tried pumping exhaust gas from his van back into the van, cops caught him before the carbon monoxide killed him). He hit rock bottom and went to a drug treatment program. He became sober from drugs and alcohol, and they got back together. Again this is an unusual situation. It was the failed suicide which got things moving along - not the separation.

In all other cases of separation that I know about the couple never got back together permanently.

 

[conjur]

Nope.

Once that separation occurs, then suspicion/deceit/mistrust set in once the couple is back together and it will never be the same.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Gravity

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile
As much as two people may love each other (like Mr. & Mrs. Skoorbie), I still think there is such thing as having too much time with someone, especially if they both work for the same company/at the same office. Wives need to let their husbands have a "guy's night out" from time to time as husbands need to allow the same.

I know two forum members whose wives let them host LAN parties, which seems ideal to me: guys get together, drink beer, have a barbeque, play games all day, and the wife is right upstairs, not far away.

If and when I do get married, I still think I'll need some alone time at home every once in a while, being the introvert that I am.

I agree with you. According to the book "His Needs, Her needs." The man's top 3 needs (not in order) are sex, honor and recreational fellowship.

The womans top need is security.

Just a factoid.

What if the woman is the one who provides the security?

 

[Pliablemoose]

I think they're practice for a divorce.