POLL: Do daugthers grow up to be like their mothers?

[deejayshakur]

was reading this thread.

basically i'm in a sorta hairy situation with my gf's mother over a housing issue, and i will most likely back down. however, i've stopped frequenting my gf's house as much (she lives with her mother and siblings) to avoid the awkwardness for the time being, and it's made me wonder...do daughters grow up like their mothers? even if the daughter has many traits that are opposite of her mother at this point (she's 23)? my gf's mother is basically like the one in the other thread except that they're not as well-off.

i don't think this will make or break our relationship, but it's certainly made me think...i've had a neutral view of her mother up til this point, but it's currently on its way down.

edit: added the freaking poll.

 

[Reckoner]

Yes

 

[Kristi2k]

More than likley they do, I've seen it a few times.

 

[NTB]

I think a lot depends on who the child is and has been closer to in the process of growing up. My old girlfriend, for instance, is much more like her father (in terms of behavior, habits, etc) than her mother.

Nate

 

[fbrdphreak]

Unfortunately I'm slowly but surely thinking YES

 

[bigrash]

Yup

 

[buck]

I hope so, i'd sure like to smack my GF's mom in the ass.

 

[shortylickens]

WOW! I actually remeber reading that thread.

Anyway, I havent known too many girlfriends moms, but I have known lots of moms and daughters in general. It seems they are usually similar, especially in bad ways.

This is also what I normally hear from married guys. "I shoulda payed more attention to the mom, I could have saved myself lots of trouble."

 

[Isla]

Having been a daughter to a mother and having two daughters myself, I can tell you that while we may have many things in common, a BIG part of the mother-daughter relationship is establishing our differences.

Daughters tend to want to scream "I AM NOT LIKE MY MOTHER!!!" and they try to create very different personas.

In the end, hopefully we embrace our mother's most positive traits and develop healthier ones to replace the dysfunctional.

It certain isn't as simple as cloning.

 

[deejayshakur]

Originally posted by: fbrdphreak
Unfortunately I'm slowly but surely thinking YES

personal experience?

"I shoulda payed more attention to the mom, I could have saved myself lots of trouble."

hmmm....

to be fair, my gf's dad left them 10 years ago, forcing her mom to raise 4 kids. she was probably scarred from that, making her the "strong woman" that she is.... i've seen flashes of that from my otherwise soft-spoken and agreeable gf, who btw is kinda still tied to her mom by the umbilical cord. ugh... i'll probably eat dinner alone because i refuse to go over to their place tonight. and she can't go out because she has to do the laundry..because her 16 year old sister still does not know how to do laundry.
/rant

 

[shortylickens]

In light of that story, if I ever lose my mind and settle down with a girl, I think its important I see how she is with her father.
If she hates her dad for any reason, I am already in a bad spot. I'll have to fight to overcome her resentment and I dont know if I could do it well.
(I've seen that many times too, with married friends.)

 

[drum]

i really doubt my sister will be like my mom.

 

[Pikachu]

My wife is exactly like her mom. My mom is exactly like her mom. My dad's sister is exactly like their mom (my grandmother). My sisters are not like my mother though, which is a good thing. It usually is the case that moms and daughters act alike, but not always.

...i'm in a sorta hairy situation with my gf's mother over a housing issue, and i will most likely back down.

You better worry about your people skills too, especially where family is concerned. You'll be stuck with them for a LONG time, so get it worked out, or be prepared to suffer.

 

[T9D]

For the most part I'd say yes. Even if they are close or not I think women inherit a lot of the psychoness of their mothers. It's just traits that are in their genes. Women react so much on emotion and let it guide their lives. So whatever emotional traits cause their mother to act a certain way then the daughter gets that also.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: Isla
Having been a daughter to a mother and having two daughters myself, I can tell you that while we may have many things in common, a BIG part of the mother-daughter relationship is establishing our differences.

Daughters tend to want to scream "I AM NOT LIKE MY MOTHER!!!" and they try to create very different personas.

In the end, hopefully we embrace our mother's most positive traits and develop healthier ones to replace the dysfunctional.

It certain isn't as simple as cloning.

Ding Ding.

I am my father's son. I am not my father. My wife is not her mother, she IS her daughter.

 

[Mucho]

I would hate to think my two daughters will end up like their mother ~shudders~

 

[compuwiz1]

Also, if you care about physical appearance, there is a high likelyhood that the daughter will carry the same physical traits later on in life, ie., overweight, etc.

 

[deejayshakur]

Originally posted by: Pikachu

You better worry about your people skills too, especially where family is concerned. You'll be stuck with them for a LONG time, so get it worked out, or be prepared to suffer.

well, i was over at her house last night and the mother didn't broach the subject at all. again, i think she's the type to tell her daughter about stuff but act nice and pleasant in front of me. i just acted normal and my gf whispered not to bring it up so i didn't. so right now, backing down is the least confrontational thing to do...cause i could potentially piss off my gf's mom, older sister, and the sister's husband. haha, horrible.

 

[deejayshakur]

Originally posted by: compuwiz1
Also, if you care about physical appearance, there is a high likelyhood that the daughter will carry the same physical traits later on in life, ie., overweight, etc.

funny that you should mention that because her mother has been on diet pills for the last 2 years and doesn't exercise. she'll spend 2 hours a week getting a facial but won't spend even a minute engaging in physical activity, regardless of what my gf says to her.

my gf is as skinny as a pole and we try to exercise regularly. of course, we always invite her mother to go exercise with us and she always declines. i know my gf would never let herself get like that...

 

[Midlander]

Originally posted by: deejayshakur

Originally posted by: compuwiz1
Also, if you care about physical appearance, there is a high likelyhood that the daughter will carry the same physical traits later on in life, ie., overweight, etc.

funny that you should mention that because her mother has been on diet pills for the last 2 years and doesn't exercise. she'll spend 2 hours a week getting a facial but won't spend even a minute engaging in physical activity, regardless of what my gf says to her.

my gf is as skinny as a pole and we try to exercise regularly. of course, we always invite her mother to go exercise with us and she always declines. i know my gf would never let herself get like that...

Suuuuuure she won't.

 

[Midlander]

Originally posted by: Isla
Having been a daughter to a mother and having two daughters myself, I can tell you that while we may have many things in common, a BIG part of the mother-daughter relationship is establishing our differences.

Daughters tend to want to scream "I AM NOT LIKE MY MOTHER!!!" and they try to create very different personas.

In the end, hopefully we embrace our mother's most positive traits and develop healthier ones to replace the dysfunctional.

It certain isn't as simple as cloning.

If what you hope for was actually true, we'd be knee-deep in perfect women after a few generations. Unfortunately, I believe most traits are passed down freely to future generations. You don't have to be the same as your parent, but it's a good bet you will be, both physically and mentally.

 

[jadinolf]

Originally posted by: PaulNEPats
Yes

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: Midlander

Originally posted by: Isla
Having been a daughter to a mother and having two daughters myself, I can tell you that while we may have many things in common, a BIG part of the mother-daughter relationship is establishing our differences.

Daughters tend to want to scream "I AM NOT LIKE MY MOTHER!!!" and they try to create very different personas.

In the end, hopefully we embrace our mother's most positive traits and develop healthier ones to replace the dysfunctional.

It certain isn't as simple as cloning.

If what you hope for was actually true, we'd be knee-deep in perfect women after a few generations. Unfortunately, I believe most traits are passed down freely to future generations. You don't have to be the same as your parent, but it's a good bet you will be, both physically and mentally.

Unfortunately, it is a matter of being aware of how you would like to be and also being conscious of how you actually ARE!

djheater has a good chance of getting closer to the ideal and helping any children he might have do the same thing... simply because he can step back and analyze the relationships.

People who just putter about unconsciously are the ones who keep repeating the same (generational!) mistakes.

 

[shortylickens]

Originally posted by: Midlander
If what you hope for was actually true, we'd be knee-deep in perfect women after a few generations. Unfortunately, I believe most traits are passed down freely to future generations. You don't have to be the same as your parent, but it's a good bet you will be, both physically and mentally.

Not entirely.
People can also be much worse than their parents.
I know a handful of folks who are good at everything in life EXCEPT parenting. They're great and their kids suck.
None of the good qualities got passed on. I guess the kids didnt observe hard enough and turned out to be sorry individuals.

 

[deejayshakur]

People who just putter about unconsciously are the ones who keep repeating the same (generational!) mistakes.

qft.

although i must say that being conscious/aware of one's surroundings is also hereditary and doesn't always get passed down for whatever reason.