Poets of ATOT: What do ya think of this poem?

[thatsright]

I would like to maybe enter one of those Poetry Contests, but it seems like the contests online are all just scams. O well, here are two of my favorites. So let me know what ya think. Thanks guys/gals.:thumbsup:
______________________________

Escort


Floating on by
With floating stars,
White light moving in a blur under night sky
Small chrysanthemums of light, flash on by
Not one, two, then more, four, and then a wave
Fluids of light, fireflies dance and capture the darkness

natures home covered by canopy
Black light minority
Stars, suns of distant galaxies
Purple, white, black, yellow red, dance on this forest bed
Liles bathed in sensual breeze of only a summer?s mist
Reciprocate and envelop forest

Upon a low clearing, low light escapes nature?s enchantment
Young man,
lithe and sprite, moving away of darkness
Darkness of a foreboding night
Told never pass these woods, harbor of dangerous ground
Though he ignored, advice tendered
He walked, he wandered through bars of wood
Past milkweeds and bee?s movement
His eyes reflected by webs of natures silk
And as his fear melted away, he felt a presence,
A feminine sway

journey returns as his foot finds the light of a moon
walking on the path, this forest becomes his garden
a chameleon, only appearing on July nights
fear runs away, chased off by the rose he freed

relieved, she floats ever higher, distracted by her comrades of flight
lone fairy keeping watch
she creates a shadow behind moonlight
guarding the young man, back to his home
back to his love

With deliberate distance
She moved behind his steps
Safe at any height,
she climbed past baby blue jays
Beyond a duty, she watches over him
Let no danger pass, letting no fear climb over him
Slowed by the light
Light only a white moon can create
He picks a wild rose, freeing it from a home of thorns
Placed in his field jacket, near a farmer?s heart
wild for his lover
_____________________________

My Love?


Love will always remember,
Your eyes
Your lips
Your beautiful teeth
Your button nose
And your captive smile

Your softness
Your sweetness
And your look of understanding

Your flowing hair
And the flow of every movement
Your stately presentation
And your funny sense of humor

Your gentility
Your pulsating femininity
And the depth of your soul

Loves strings are invisible
And yet I see your love beside me
Your love holds my heart, moving my blood
And I live for you, day and night

 

[xSauronx]

no comment; i never did like poetry much; and when forced to write it in school i wrote whatever it thought would most annoy the teacher or humor the class.

poetry that doesnt rhyme ive always been particularly aggravated at, just something i could never even being to be remotely interested in...but i figured id reply as a bump in the least someone here is bound to like it

 

[Zim Hosein]

Is about someone you hired through an Escort service thatsright?

 

[George P Burdell]

did you use a thesaurus to help with the first poem?

 

[thatsright]

Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Is about someone you hired through an Escort service thatsright?

ROTFLMAO - Zim, O' believe me if that were true, the poem would be a lit different. Ahhh just what I need for a boring ass night, a hearty laugh.

:thumbsup:

 

[thatsright]

Originally posted by: hotchilisauce
did you use a thesaurus to help with the first poem?

Nope.

 

[thatsright]

bmp

 

[TheLonelyPhoenix]

Cliff Notes!

 

[Mo0o]

Seems pretty good.

personally i prefer the more structured poems of Frost and Poe