Please critique my resume

[LeetViet]

I've left out my personal details (under my name) and the name of my high school in this version.

(Link removed. Thank you everyone!)

All constructive criticism and comments welcomed!

Edit: I'm not applying for anything specific.

Edit #2: Sweet, 2222nd post!

UPDATE: I was hired today.

Round 2: I'm looking to apply to restaurants as a server. But I have no serving experience.
Here's my updated resume: (Link removed)

 

[Tim]

sux

 

[IronWing]

You should tone down the homoerotic subtext. A resume isn't the proper place for such intimacy.

 

[state 08]

-Contact information at the top along with your name (Address, Phone, EMail)

-Get rid of the color and any highlighting of words

-First: Education, second: Work Experience, third: Other skills

-Get rid of the last line in the resume. If they want references, they'll ask for it. They don't need you to tell them that you have them. Also, unless you're a long time professional with some type of extensive experience in a field, you're not going to have a "extended resume." All the Important details should already be on the first one.

-Display Quantitative details. This shows results. Example:
Instead of, "Manage Inventory in Microsoft Excel"
try: "Managed 900 units of product inventory on a monthly basis using Microsoft Excel"

-You don't need the street address for each job location. City and State is good enough.

 

[JMapleton]

IN a job like that like that it's more important to present yourself well and be clean than it is to have a nice resume.

 

[LeetViet]

@state 08: Thanks! I'll quantitative details. My "extended resume" would not be handed to them unless requested. The second copy includes my academic awards -- not necessary?

@JMapleton: I agree but it never hurts to hand them a resume and a reference.

 

[yllus]

Ah, fellow Ryerson student (alumni of 2005 here).

Under education, mention that you are currently working towards a degree in ____ at Ryerson University.

You should be tailoring your resume to fit every job you apply for. Do this by updating the "Key Qualifications" section per job. If you were looking to apply to Best Buy to be one of the computer service technicians, in "Key Qualifications" you would mention your familiarity with installing and maintaining Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 2000 and OS X machines. That you've worked a cash register before, and that you've performed upsells to customers.

 

[LeetViet]

Originally posted by: yllus
Ah, fellow Ryerson student (alumni of 2005 here).

Under education, mention that you are currently working towards a degree in ____ at Ryerson University.

You should be tailoring your resume to fit every job you apply for. Do this by updating the "Key Qualifications" section per job. If you were looking to apply to Best Buy to be one of the computer service technicians, in "Key Qualifications" you would mention your familiarity with installing and maintaining Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 2000 and OS X machines. That you've worked a cash register before, and that you've performed upsells to customers.

I'm actually not a student but my sister is an alumni.

I'm working to save up money/something to hold me over until I start post secondary.

 

[Rockinacoustic]

Objective much?

 

[Farang]

few notes..


Word process written notes... USING?

Troubleshoot and assemble combined

key qualifications are useless, get rid of those. if you want to promote yourself with pointless stuff like that, do it within the job duties.
example: "Increase customer volume potential through more efficient preparation of product."

edit: and what others said is true you probably don't even need a resume, you are going to be handed an application

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Rockinacoustic
Objective much?

objectives are really not being used anymore....

 

[dbk]

i guess good enough for a high schooler

 

[Dear Summer]

it's not bad for a high schooler
but if this was for a college grad. LAWL

 

[gorcorps]

Nobody will hire somebody with that name... I suggest you change that first.

 

[gorcorps]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: Rockinacoustic
Objective much?

objectives are really not being used anymore....

Don't make that generalized statement. Some companies don't look at them, but I know a few companies that have outright said they don't look at anything without an objective. It's better to have one than not.

 

[Farang]

Originally posted by: Dear Summer
it's not bad for a high schooler
but if this was for a college grad. LAWL

lawl.. that is basically my resume if you add a college education on top

 

[LeetViet]

Update: I had my first callback this morning! Their online posting did not request a cover letter. I sent an email stating I could work their desired hours and attached my cashier oriented resume. I'm still applying to different places and see where it takes me. Thanks again to all the helpful posters!

 

[Mr Pickles]

Good luck to you dude.

:sun:

 

[LeetViet]

I was hired today.

The first callback didn't lead anywhere but my second callback lead to a group interview and BAM!

 

[LeetViet]

Bump with updated resume!

 

[Dear Summer]

you don't need a resume to become a server
you go in and speak to the manager
ask him/her for the application, sometimes ask for the position and you might get hired on the spot
being a server isn't rocket science

 

[ColdFusion718]

fashion consultant? I'm assuming you're a dude.

 

[esun]

* Include an objective. I went tried going without one once and was almost immediately criticized by a recruiter. Nobody will criticize you for having one, but the small handful that will criticize you for not having one make it worth including one.
* Get rid of "Strengths" and put a "Skills" section below "Work Experience". I don't know what "Smart Serve" is and I don't think handling money qualifies as a "Strength" or a "Skill".
* Use of present tense everywhere under "Work Experience" is odd.
* Text should be aligned under text, not under bullet points. MS Word can suck for doing this, but figure out a way and things will look much cleaner.
* I have no clue what Katimavik is. If you're absolutely certain the reader will, then it's fine. Otherwise you should use a different title for that bit of experience.
* Volunteer is too vague as a job title.
* I'm not a big fan of shading title areas but that's a little subjective.
* The hyphen used in "2002-2006" should be an en-dash. If you don't know what that is, look it up.

 

[LeetViet]

@ColdFusion718: It's a sales associate but it's what the company calls us and wants us to tell people.

@esun: In Ontario, everyone needs to have Smart Serve to serve alcohol and Katimavik is a government volunteer program (first Google results for both ). I don't know what else to call volunteer. I was there to do my high school volunteer hours that was mandatory. Do you think I should remove it and keep my work experience to the last 3? Your other advice is pretty solid, thank you!