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please bash my thankyou note

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Originally posted by: rookie1010
hey guys

what do you guys recommend the subject of my email should be?
Click to expand...

AGH! Never send a follow up via email! Shame on you! Type it out, print it on nice paper, sign it then mail it. Email is for informal contact. Here is my take on your follow up:

Thank you for taking time to meet with with me on Monday. I enjoyed our discussion about the Principal Engineer (Systems) position at Harris Corp(is this the company you interviewed with? if so, they know where they work, take "at Harris Corp" out). I would enjoy the opportunity to be a member of your team and believe my experience and work ethic would add value to the team. Please extend my appreciation to Alan, Bob, Dean, and Florence, it was a pleasure meeting them. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
 
thanks for the post

i have modified the thank you ntoe to read

"
Dear XYZ & Florence

Thank you for taking time to meet with with me on Monday. I enjoyed our discussion about the Principal Engineer (Systems) position. I will very much like the opportunity to be a member of your team and believe my experience and work ethic would add value to the team. Please extend my appreciation to Alan, Bob & Dean, it was a pleasure meeting them. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely
"

i took out the at Harris Corp, but then we end up with two enjoys, replaced the second enjoy with i would very much like the opportunity ....

i have been told by the job agent to address it to both HR and the hiring manager, hence i have got XYZ & Florenece, do i have the right format.


can i not use the email to send a quick follow up, it is only for the position of an engineer's role!
 
Originally posted by: rookie1010
thanks for the post

i have modified the thank you ntoe to read

"
Dear XYZ & Florence

Thank you for taking time to meet with with me on Monday. I enjoyed our discussion about the Principal Engineer (Systems) position. I will very much like the opportunity to be a member of your team and believe my experience and work ethic would add value to the team. Please extend my appreciation to Alan, Bob & Dean, it was a pleasure meeting them. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely
"

i took out the at Harris Corp, but then we end up with two enjoys, replaced the second enjoy with i would very much like the opportunity ....

i have been told by the job agent to address it to both HR and the hiring manager, hence i have got XYZ & Florenece, do i have the right format.


can i not use the email to send a quick follow up, it is only for the position of an engineer's role!
Click to expand...


This: I will very much like the opportunity to be a member of your team
Change to this: I would like the opportunity to be a member of your team

You can use email but it is highly suggested to do a formal letter. Email is informal... When sending the letter, make sure to address each letter seperate (for the hiring manager and the HR Rep.).
 
thanks for the resposne and helping me tweak my letter

my letter now reads
""
Dear XYZ & Florence

Thank you for taking time to meet with with me on Monday. I enjoyed our discussion about the Principal Engineer (Systems) position. I would like the opportunity to be a member of your team and believe my experience and work ethic would add value to the team. Please extend my appreciation to Alan, Bob & Dean, it was a pleasure meeting them. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely
" "

i have come up with the following subject line:

Follow-up to our meeting on Monday 12/06

if i send it via email, do i need to send individual emails to the hiring manager and the HR rep. , i guess it will be inappropriate if i cc the mail to the job agent to keep him in the loop?
 
Originally posted by: jhayx7
Originally posted by: rookie1010
hey guys

what do you guys recommend the subject of my email should be?
Click to expand...

AGH! Never send a follow up via email! Shame on you! Type it out, print it on nice paper, sign it then mail it. Email is for informal contact. Here is my take on your follow up:

Thank you for taking time to meet with with me on Monday. I enjoyed our discussion about the Principal Engineer (Systems) position at Harris Corp(is this the company you interviewed with? if so, they know where they work, take "at Harris Corp" out). I would enjoy the opportunity to be a member of your team and believe my experience and work ethic would add value to the team. Please extend my appreciation to Alan, Bob, Dean, and Florence, it was a pleasure meeting them. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Click to expand...

BS. Snail mail sucks. I hate sending them AND hate it more receiving them. Nowadays deals are done through email. Emails are just fine.
 
Originally posted by: rookie1010
Hello

i just had an interview with a major telecom vendor, can you guys please bash my thank you note

Dear XYZ

Thanks for meeting with me on Monday. I appreciated and enjoyed our discussion about the Principal Engineer (Systems) position at Harris Corp. Please extend my appreciation to Alan, Bob, Dean & Florence. The job, as you presented it, seems to be a very good match for my skills and interests. My multi-dimensional experience has imbibed in me the ability to analyse a cellular system at all levels and to propose performance enhancers to the system. I would like very much to apply my experiences as a member of your team. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

ABC
Click to expand...

Sounds like you're trying to hard to sound smart. And write "analyze" with a z, not an s. I realize with an 's' is how some English standards have it, but Z looks so much better.
 
Originally posted by: rookie1010
thanks for the resposne and helping me tweak my letter

my letter now reads
""
Dear XYZ & Florence

Thank you for taking time to meet with with me on Monday. I enjoyed our discussion about the Principal Engineer (Systems) position. I would like the opportunity to be a member of your team and believe my experience and work ethic would add value to the team. Please extend my appreciation to Alan, Bob & Dean, it was a pleasure meeting them. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely
" "

i have come up with the following subject line:

Follow-up to our meeting on Monday 12/06

if i send it via email, do i need to send individual emails to the hiring manager and the HR rep. , i guess it will be inappropriate if i cc the mail to the job agent to keep him in the loop?
Click to expand...


I usually just put "Thank You" as the subject....

I think you're making this harder than it really is. A thank you letter will not get you the job...it's really more just icing on the cake. But if you did horrible on the interview, a TY note won't matter.

Anyway, your letter sounds better now. TY letters should just be pretty short, with of course thanking them, then talking about how you are excited and very interested in the position and just a quick mention of how your skills would be a good match. No more no less.

And to those who think TY letters are not needed, it's almost a standard in today's world. Also, sending them via Email is totally ok. In the past, traditional snail mail would be the way to go, but since the world has evolved so much around eletronic paperwork, emails are perfectly ok.
 
"And write "analyze" with a z, not an s. "

i am in the Uk, analyse would probably be more appropriate

i changed the letter slightly from

"it was a pleasure meeting them. I look forward to hearing from you soon. " to "it was a pleasure meeting all of you. I look forward to hearing from you soon. "

i have done pretty ok on the interview, but there are 4 other candidates, i just wanted to add that extra bit of professionalism which may clinch me the job.#

my follow up letter reads


"
Dear XYZ & Florence

Thank you for taking time to meet with with me on Monday. I enjoyed our discussion about the Principal Engineer (Systems) position. I would like the opportunity to be a member of your team and believe my experience and work ethic would add value to the team. Please extend my appreciation to Nohara-san, Bob & Dean, it was a pleasure meeting all of you. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely
"


an i am going to use "thank you" as a subject line. i hope one of those email filter systems does not trash my mail upon seeing thank you in the subject line
 
Originally posted by: rookie1010
"And write "analyze" with a z, not an s. "

i am in the Uk, analyse would probably be more appropriate

i changed the letter slightly from

"it was a pleasure meeting them. I look forward to hearing from you soon. " to "it was a pleasure meeting all of you. I look forward to hearing from you soon. "

i have done pretty ok on the interview, but there are 4 other candidates, i just wanted to add that extra bit of professionalism which may clinch me the job.#

my follow up letter reads


"
Dear XYZ & Florence

Thank you for taking time to meet with with me on Monday. I enjoyed our discussion about the Principal Engineer (Systems) position. I would like the opportunity to be a member of your team and believe my experience and work ethic would add value to the team. Please extend my appreciation to Nohara-san, Bob & Dean, it was a pleasure meeting all of you. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely
"


an i am going to use "thank you" as a subject line. i hope one of those email filter systems does not trash my mail upon seeing thank you in the subject line
Click to expand...

I'm sorry, but no amount of awesomeness in a thank you letter will get you the job. If you did well in the interview then you will get the job, if not, a Thank you letter won't help.

Again yo'ure making a big deal out of this. It took me 5 minutes to write thank you letters anytime I had an interview, and I wrote an individual TY letter to each person I met. Sometims I had to write 8 diff. letters.

They all had the same format though, a 'thank you', a 'i'm really excited/interested about the job', a 'my skills allow a good match for the job', and a 'i look foward to hearing from you again'.

Badaboombadabing, and you're done.
 
thanks for the reply

this was my first real thank-you note. and i did not want to mess up any chances i had by writing a silly letter. you think this is the thank-you letter format i can copy paste in any other interiew i have. tnext time around it will take me 10 minutes.
 
My multi-dimensional experience has imbibed in me
Click to expand...
Experience drove you to drinking? Experience is not the subject in that sentence, you are. And imbibing is an active gerund.

You can write this better. Just try to write again instead of having us write it for you.
 

what is an active gerund ??

i did start ofwith a skeleton, and thansk to yoru guys major modifications, i ended up with a far better thank-you note then i could have possibly come up with with my current knowledge/understanding

thank you guys

 
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