Planning a small private wedding

[SirChadwick]

Me and my fiancee are getting married in Sept of next year, but it's never too early to start planning. She suggested a private wedding where only our immediate families will attend... I didn't complain a bit b/c this will easily save us 10k+ which we can use as a dp on a house. I'm looking for ideas though. We don't want to spend over 3k total excluding the honeymoon. So far we're spending $450 for a nice chapel and $200 for our minister. We plan on having everyone out to eat a nice dinner afterwards w/ drinks instead of the reception... which will probably run $750 or so. Any other suggestions for those who have done this or wish they had lol?

 

[lokiju]

Man I wish this is the route the fiancee and I were going, I'm getting married in October of this year and so far for the wedding and reception for 75 guest it's going to cost $5,000 for a photographer it'll be around $1,500 for a DJ about $700, plus her dress, my tux, all the decorations and little things. We're pushing $9,000 when all is said and done and that doesn't include the honeymoon!

I'd be fine just going to the court house and getting married but then again weddings aren't for the men as much as they are for the womens

 

[SirChadwick]

Originally posted by: lokiju
Man I wish this is the route the fiancee and I were going, I'm getting married in October of this year and so far for the wedding and reception for 75 guest it's going to cost $5,000 for a photographer it'll be around $1,500 for a DJ about $700, plus her dress, my tux, all the decorations and little things. We're pushing $9,000 when all is said and done and that doesn't include the honeymoon!

I'd be fine just going to the court house and getting married but then again weddings aren't for the men as much as they are for the womens

I feel ya on this one. All of my friends who have gotten married said they wish they would have taken the same route... now they're paying off 20-30k in debt for the next 20 years. Anyway, I really lucked up when my fiancee suggested the private wedding... hell she wanted to elope at first, but then thought she may regret leaving out family. My friends will get over the fact that they didn't get to come to my wedding. We may even renew our vows 10 years from now and do something more traditional after we are more financially stable. Right now I'm just 25 and really getting established with my IT career out of college.

 

[tw1164]

How about having the wedding outside, it will save you the chapel costs. How many guests are there going to be?

 

[KK]

Just run up to Gatlinburg and get it over with cheap.

 

[Lola]

Oh goodness... i have so much to say...
When you get a chance, op, please pm me!

 

[Golgatha]

Originally posted by: lokiju
Man I wish this is the route the fiancee and I were going, I'm getting married in October of this year and so far for the wedding and reception for 75 guest it's going to cost $5,000 for a photographer it'll be around $1,500 for a DJ about $700, plus her dress, my tux, all the decorations and little things. We're pushing $9,000 when all is said and done and that doesn't include the honeymoon!

I'd be fine just going to the court house and getting married but then again weddings aren't for the men as much as they are for the womens

My poor father-in-law paid for three daughters to get married in the span of 19months a few years ago. Good thing he is a business owner and can afford to do such things. I'd estimate each wedding at 10K each.:Q

 

[Dracos]

My wedding is coming up next week, right now it looks like we are going to spend less than 5K on the entire wedding. Honeymoon to Puerto Vallarta and Vegas cost us like 2K. We saved on alot of things by doing it ourselves, like the programs, invitations and having the wedding and reception at the same place on a Friday instead of the traditional Saturday weddings.

 

[iamwiz82]

Originally posted by: SirChadwick

Originally posted by: lokiju
Man I wish this is the route the fiancee and I were going, I'm getting married in October of this year and so far for the wedding and reception for 75 guest it's going to cost $5,000 for a photographer it'll be around $1,500 for a DJ about $700, plus her dress, my tux, all the decorations and little things. We're pushing $9,000 when all is said and done and that doesn't include the honeymoon!

I'd be fine just going to the court house and getting married but then again weddings aren't for the men as much as they are for the womens

I feel ya on this one. All of my friends who have gotten married said they wish they would have taken the same route... now they're paying off 20-30k in debt for the next 20 years. Anyway, I really lucked up when my fiancee suggested the private wedding... hell she wanted to elope at first, but then thought she may regret leaving out family. My friends will get over the fact that they didn't get to come to my wedding. We may even renew our vows 10 years from now and do something more traditional after we are more financially stable. Right now I'm just 25 and really getting established with my IT career out of college.

We spent that much on our own and had everything paid for pretty quickly. If you have 14 months, start buying things now and paying them off. Between that and the gifts, everything came out just fine, no debt.

EDIT: BTW, the money we spent was worth it.

 

[Feldenak]

My wife and I spent around $4500 for our wedding. We really lucked into some deals though. $400 for the photographer (charged us his costs only), wedding & reception at the same place, retired minister who wouldn't accept any form of payment, etc...

Good luck with the small wedding.

 

[tfinch2]

Aren't all/most weddings private?

 

[SirChadwick]

Originally posted by: tfinch2
Aren't all/most weddings private?

Private as in no friends will be invited...

 

[dullard]

Originally posted by: SirChadwick
Me and my fiancee are getting married in Sept of next year, but it's never too early to start planning. She suggested a private wedding where only our immediate families will attend... I didn't complain a bit b/c this will easily save us 10k+ which we can use as a dp on a house. I'm looking for ideas though. We don't want to spend over 3k total excluding the honeymoon. So far we're spending $450 for a nice chapel and $200 for our minister. We plan on having everyone out to eat a nice dinner afterwards w/ drinks instead of the reception... which will probably run $750 or so. Any other suggestions for those who have done this or wish they had lol?

My entire wedding/reception/honeymoon was around $6k for 200+ people. It doesn't have to cost a lot to have good food, good decorations, and people you care about to share your day. I never understand the save $10k to lose $20k of gifts philosophy. But whatever floats your boat.

If I was to go the very small route, I would seriously consider a trip wedding. Fly to a small island or some other beautiful destination. The small number of people will keep the cost low, and some of the relatives are flying anyways so their cost is unaffected.

 

[SirChadwick]

Originally posted by: dullard

Originally posted by: SirChadwick
Me and my fiancee are getting married in Sept of next year, but it's never too early to start planning. She suggested a private wedding where only our immediate families will attend... I didn't complain a bit b/c this will easily save us 10k+ which we can use as a dp on a house. I'm looking for ideas though. We don't want to spend over 3k total excluding the honeymoon. So far we're spending $450 for a nice chapel and $200 for our minister. We plan on having everyone out to eat a nice dinner afterwards w/ drinks instead of the reception... which will probably run $750 or so. Any other suggestions for those who have done this or wish they had lol?

My entire wedding/reception/honeymoon was around $6k for 200+ people. It doesn't have to cost a lot to have good food, good decorations, and people you care about to share your day. I never understand the save $10k to lose $20k of gifts philosophy. But whatever floats your boat.

If I was to go the very small route, I would seriously consider a trip wedding. Fly to a small island or some other beautiful destination. The small number of people will keep the cost low, and some of the relatives are flying anyways so their cost is unaffected.

We've both discussed a trip wedding... but what's the point of family staying for 2 days in Costa Rica or what not and then having to head back? It seems like a lot of work doing the planning online for a location like this. Plus flying the family isn't exactly cheap. We want it to be as stress free as possible. The honeymoon is where the real fun comes in anyway.

 

[SirChadwick]

anybody else have suggestions?

 

[dullard]

Originally posted by: SirChadwick
We've both discussed a trip wedding... but what's the point of family staying for 2 days in Costa Rica or what not and then having to head back? It seems like a lot of work doing the planning online for a location like this. Plus flying the family isn't exactly cheap. We want it to be as stress free as possible. The honeymoon is where the real fun comes in anyway.

The idea of the trip is that the honeymoon and wedding would be in the same exotic location. Thus, you aren't spending two days there and coming back. And neither would your family in most cases. They use that for their summer vacation (in separate hotels/areas to give you your privacy).

As for other ideas, I've seen many people do something to keep costs down. Have a very small, very personal wedding. Just close family around. No need for a fancy dress, fancy decorations, tuxes, etc. Just the few people dress nicely and go to their local church (free) and use thier favorite miniser (free if you want, but donations are always appreciated). Then have a reception with all the friends/extended family. They could even be on separate days. This way you can book the reception hall/caterer/DJ/etc on an off day (ie not Saturday) where prices are dramatically less.

 

[Bryophyte]

Just keep your minds focused on the important part: the marriage, not the wedding. Do you really need to expend time and energy choosing between this or that decoration? No. Nobody really cares about 90% of the frilly crap at weddings. You can print your own invitations, etc. If your fiancee or someone you know is really into scrapbooking, you can have them have an invitation and decoration-making party and get it all handmade in one evening. Or you can use your computer and do it in minutes. All of the blanks are readily available at office supply stores (or Kinko's.) Somebody I worked with volunteered to make us a (small) wedding cake for her gift to us. Foods and drinks and snacks can be simple, make-ahead or from a deli.

For us, we had a tiny wedding with just immediate family, followed by dinner at a nice restaurant, then left for the honeymoon the next day. A month or so later, we went back to our hometown for a reception organized by our parents. Everyone seemed to like that. We lived a few hundred miles away from where we grew up, so it took everyone off the hook for having to attend an out-of-town wedding, and we still got a chance to celebrate with everyone. And it cost almost nothing.

 

[Geekbabe]

our wedding cost around $1300 total, that included the dress, Tux rentals,JP, cake.

I did my own flowers, we had a sit down dinner for 20 at a lovely restaurant, beer,wine afterwards in the best man's yard. I was back at my desk on monday.

We'll be married a year on 8/20 am thinking that a trip will be appropriate then.