Pet Peeves Of Dogs. (Monday Humor)

Ulfwald

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
May 27, 2000
8,646
0
76
Just in case you were sitting around this weekend wondering what it is that really ticks dogs off.

1 . When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good Leg humping.

2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.

3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!

4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)

5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?

6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.

7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot.

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?

11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your sh!t up when you're not home.

12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?

13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you tard.

15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us?
 

Rallispec

Lifer
Jul 26, 2001
12,375
10
81


<< 7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet? >>


hahahahaha..


.... definetely monday humor :)
 

Freejack2

Diamond Member
Dec 31, 2000
7,751
8
91


<< 7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet? >>


Usually when the cat does that, it's time to take him/her to the vet.

Don't forget dog thoughts:

If we couldn't lick our balls would we have built a vast and sprawling empire?
Is that the can opener I hear?
 

Novgrod

Golden Member
Mar 3, 2001
1,142
0
0
hahaha thanks for that :)

Reminds me of a joke in the New Yorker a couple years ago, featuring two guys meeting with their dogs:

guy 1 to guy 2: Hey Fred, this is my new dog Fido.

Fido to dog 2: I am Balthazar: chewer of bones, chaser of cats, and destroyer of oriental rugs