Parents / Parental Guidance

[Blazin Trav]

Okay so my parents are what I consider "overprotective."

I do bad in a few classes and instantly they suggest taking away my computer, my car, my cell phone, and any other privaleges, etc. While I realize most people would probably say who cares, they did the right thing I just wanted to get an opnion.

Do parents these days only take a two way road?
:

1) Care about their kids a lot and keep them on a short leash.
2) Don't care at all or to a certain agree, allow freedoms while realizing their kid will soon be on their own.

Any input on this?

I'm just trying to figure out parents/parenting before it's too late to figure them out.

-Trav

 

[imported_Kensai]

That's what it seems like.

 

[FleshLight]

Whatever they do will just make you more rebellious and thus encourage you to fail more classes, etc, since you're finding ways to get around your restrictions.

 

[Blazin Trav]

Originally posted by: FleshLight
Whatever they do will just make you more rebellious and thus encourage you to fail more classes, etc, since you're finding ways to get around your restrictions.

Yes and no. I realize what purpose achieving good grades have, but I also understand the short term satisfaction of not doing the work.

The ability to not care, at least in HS makes it a tough call.

 

[KarenMarie]

they are strict cause they expect a certain level from you and demand that you live up to your potential.

by saying that you did BAD in a few classes admits that you did not do your best. If taking away the things you like is a carrot/stick approach to get your azz in gear and give you a better chance at a successful future... that is what they feel they must do.

Better than having parents who dont give a damn whether you make it or not.

 

[Blazin Trav]

True, too true. But also I hate the random lectures about stuff that I need to improve but I realize won't change overnight. It's a reasonable amount of understanding I expect that isn't there. Yaknow?

 

[KarenMarie]

what is it that you want them to understand? That you will not try your hardest all the time. That you are willing to sacrifice good grades to have a good time? That you expect there to be no consequences if you slack off?

Hahaha!! now I am sounding like I am lecturing, and I am not... I just dont understand what you expect from them.

 

[Chaotic42]

My dad was strict when I was a child and completely lax when I was in high school. It took falling flat on my ass and failing at life to straighten me out.

Maybe they're trying to keep that from happening to you? I don't know.

 

[Blazin Trav]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
what is it that you want them to understand? That you will not try your hardest all the time. That you are willing to sacrifice good grades to have a good time? That you expect there to be no consequences if you slack off?

Hahaha!! now I am sounding like I am lecturing, and I am not... I just dont understand what you expect from them.

I want them to understand that I am who I am.

EX:
My camera broke. I got an F in an interim grade report because I had no prints (no brainer.) Naturally parents want my balls.

Just an example. I mean, maybe you're right.

 

[thomsbrain]

studies show children of european decent do best with parents of the authoritative type: meaning they set strong rules, BUT they also provide positive emotional support. they care about your happiness, so they "do what's best for you."

asian-americans tend to do best with parents of the authoritarian type: meaning they are basically nazi's. tough love to the max. they don't care about your happiness, and they "do what's best for you." to your average american, this sounds crazy, but in the cultural context, children thrive under this style of parenting.

there are other styles, but none of them are the "best" for any large group of people.

edit: not saying this is what kids LIKE, just what has been shown to lead to the most success later in life.

 

[thomsbrain]

Originally posted by: Blazin Trav

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
what is it that you want them to understand? That you will not try your hardest all the time. That you are willing to sacrifice good grades to have a good time? That you expect there to be no consequences if you slack off?

Hahaha!! now I am sounding like I am lecturing, and I am not... I just dont understand what you expect from them.

I want them to understand that I am who I am.

EX:
My camera broke. I got an F in an interim grade report because I had no prints (no brainer.) Naturally parents want my balls.

Just an example. I mean, maybe you're right.

a good question to ask yourself would be: did i not have prints because it was truely outside my control, or did i not have prints because i was too lazy to borrow a camera/fix my camara/get a different camera? i'm sure your parents have one you could have borrowed, or a friend/classmate.

 

[Blazin Trav]

Originally posted by: thomsbrain

Originally posted by: Blazin Trav

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
what is it that you want them to understand? That you will not try your hardest all the time. That you are willing to sacrifice good grades to have a good time? That you expect there to be no consequences if you slack off?

Hahaha!! now I am sounding like I am lecturing, and I am not... I just dont understand what you expect from them.

I want them to understand that I am who I am.

EX:
My camera broke. I got an F in an interim grade report because I had no prints (no brainer.) Naturally parents want my balls.

Just an example. I mean, maybe you're right.

a good question to ask yourself would be: did i not have prints because it was truely outside my control, or did i not have prints because i was too lazy to borrow a camera/fix my camara/get a different camera? i'm sure your parents have one you could have borrowed, or a friend/classmate.

Funny thing was I tried to fix the problem, but no one would lend me a camera. I have resolved the problem now, but people calling me slacker couldn't be furthur from the truth.

 

[audi]

Originally posted by: Blazin Trav

Originally posted by: thomsbrain

Originally posted by: Blazin Trav

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
what is it that you want them to understand? That you will not try your hardest all the time. That you are willing to sacrifice good grades to have a good time? That you expect there to be no consequences if you slack off?

Hahaha!! now I am sounding like I am lecturing, and I am not... I just dont understand what you expect from them.

I want them to understand that I am who I am.

EX:
My camera broke. I got an F in an interim grade report because I had no prints (no brainer.) Naturally parents want my balls.

Just an example. I mean, maybe you're right.

a good question to ask yourself would be: did i not have prints because it was truely outside my control, or did i not have prints because i was too lazy to borrow a camera/fix my camara/get a different camera? i'm sure your parents have one you could have borrowed, or a friend/classmate.

Funny thing was I tried to fix the problem, but no one would lend me a camera. I have resolved the problem now, but people calling me slacker couldn't be furthur from the truth.

maybe you should get some more friends so borrowing a camera won't be a trying experience

 

[Blazin Trav]

Originally posted by: audi

Originally posted by: Blazin Trav

Originally posted by: thomsbrain

Originally posted by: Blazin Trav

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
what is it that you want them to understand? That you will not try your hardest all the time. That you are willing to sacrifice good grades to have a good time? That you expect there to be no consequences if you slack off?

Hahaha!! now I am sounding like I am lecturing, and I am not... I just dont understand what you expect from them.

I want them to understand that I am who I am.

EX:
My camera broke. I got an F in an interim grade report because I had no prints (no brainer.) Naturally parents want my balls.

Just an example. I mean, maybe you're right.

a good question to ask yourself would be: did i not have prints because it was truely outside my control, or did i not have prints because i was too lazy to borrow a camera/fix my camara/get a different camera? i'm sure your parents have one you could have borrowed, or a friend/classmate.

Funny thing was I tried to fix the problem, but no one would lend me a camera. I have resolved the problem now, but people calling me slacker couldn't be furthur from the truth.

maybe you should get some more friends so borrowing a camera won't be a trying experience

Maybe your mom should teach you when it is appropriate to speak, and when it is not.