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David Hasselhof, is hooked on a feeling...

I don't know why all Americans make fun of this living legend. For me, as a true German, David Hasselhoff is like a father. A philospher, a poet, a shining example for the entire human race. Yes...he is the reincarnation of Jesus, the Messiah. His incomparable music ended the cold war and let our minds fly on the wings of tenderness. He is responsible for the fall of the Berlin Wall, he liberated the East Germans!
It takes years to completely understand the complex lyrics with the hidden messages. Only Germans can recognzize the thousands of metaphors and allegories that David put in his songs. David Hasselhoffs dreamworld, a world of speaking cars, silicon breasts and enough whiskey, simply is the modern interpretation of the Paradise, the Garden Eden.

David, if the Americans don't want you, come to Germany, you cold become our king...King David...now I see the biblical similarities...unbelievable.
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I was unaware of the Godlike genius of David Hefflehump until my gardner was singing along with 'Hot Shot City' (which is quite good) whilst pruning the hedge. I inquired as to the writer of the witty tune being butchered by the little man with the hoe. He replied 'it is the one, true artist. The man, the myth, the hair, the David'.

Intrigued, I ordered this compilation and quit my job so that I would be at home when it arrived. Three days later, upon arrival I ripped open the package with my trembling fingers. Could it be? The hits? That compelling, mellow, drone of a voice? 'Hot Shot City'?

It was. And it was good. Very, very good. TOO good. So good that my stereo starting melting, the cats danced in synch, the sun split through the cloudy sky, and the portrait of Jesus in the hallway actually wept tears of blood. My heart raced, my brain felt as if had been split open and liquid joy poured in. In short, I freaked.

Now that is a pop record, my friends.
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That has to be the gayest thing I've seen ever. I couldn't even watch the entire video.

It is clear to me that the Germans have REALLY REALLY REALLY bad taste in the arts.
 
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