Parent notes for excused student absenses


Elite Member
Mar 8, 2003
got this from my teachure, she says its been compiled over the years by differant people and all of them were true. i would be willing to bet the bulk are ones the kids wrote and forged parents signature

Student Absentees

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out
loud! These are real notes written from parents in a Mississippi school
district. (Spellings have been left intact.)

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take
P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and
I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John Henry being absent
on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33

Please excuse Gloria Jean from Jim today. She is

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken
out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he playing
football. He hurt in the growing part.

Ethel Pearl could not come to school today because she
has been bothered by very close veins.

Please xcuse LeRoy from school, he ain't got no rain
cot and it was missing rain.

Please excuse Bowdiddly fom school cause he uncle
died. Bow say, "I sho glad it want me."

Lugene will not be in school cus he has an acre in his
side .

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very
loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He
had(diahre)(dyrea)(direathe) the s----. [Words were
crossed out in the ( )'s}

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He
had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas
shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it
Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a weak from Friday. We have
to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was
tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Willie being absent yesterday. He had a
cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary Ann for being absent yestitty. She
was in bed with gramps.

Lizie was absent yesterday as she was having a

Please excuse Brenda, she been sick and under the

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a
fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,
fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached
all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be
something going around, her father even got hot last night


Jul 4, 2000
Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it
Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

the best one...


Oct 11, 1999
When we were 18, my HS allowed us to write their won notes, one of my buddies notes:

"Please excuse Steven from school yesterday, he was hunting Bull Terriers."

He got detention for a week...