Palo Alto, CA

[brikis98]

My girlfriend just got into a PhD program at Stanford University and will most likely be moving to Palo Alto, CA this summer. We currently live near Boston, MA, have been together for 3.5 years, and I need to decide if I want to move there with her. On the one hand, I'd be leaving my entire family, most of my friends, a nice high paying job, and the place where I grew up and spent most of my life. On the other, I don't know how our relationship would handle being 3,000 miles apart for ~5 years.

This won't be an easy decision, so I'm trying to gather as much info as I can. I'd really appreciate any input you guys have on the area, including:

* What can you do for fun in the area? How is the night life? Just for reference, we're both 24.
* How much more expensive is it to live there? Rent, food, entertainment?
* How is the public transportation? Traffic? Can I get by without a car?
* How is the job market in that area? I'm a software engineer with lots of experience and a bachelors and masters degree from a top tier university.
* How's the weather?
* For those that have also lived near Boston, how does it compare?

 

[Farang]

It's over

 

[Codewiz]

Here is the thing. You do NOT leave your current job until you have a job lined up out there. Simple as that.

 

[Saint Nick]

I think you need to find a job before you move out there. Then go for it.

You love the girl, and you will make enough money to go see your family when you want. I'd just say go for it.

 

[trmiv]

* What can you do for fun in the area? How is the night life? Just for reference, we're both 24.

-Plenty. You're in a college town (albeit a stuffy, pretentious one), and you're close to San Francisco.

* How much more expensive is it to live there? Rent, food, entertainment?

http://www.bestplaces.net/COL/

* How is the public transportation? Traffic? Can I get by without a car?

In that area, it sucks. You will need a car. BART is useful for a lot of the Bay Area, but it doesn't run to Palo Alto.

* How is the job market in that area? I'm a software engineer with lots of experience and a bachelors and masters degree from a top tier university.

The job market for the entire country sucks, line up a job before you even think about moving.

* How's the weather?

Better than Boston IMHO.

* For those that have also lived near Boston, how does it compare?

Can't help you there.

 

[Corporate Thug]

* What can you do for fun in the area? How is the night life? Just for reference, we're both 24.

There is plenty to do in Palo, but SF would be a more fun night.

* How much more expensive is it to live there? Rent, food, entertainment?

Very expensive, but cheaper than SF.

* How is the public transportation? Traffic? Can I get by without a car?

Not sure about this one.

* How is the job market in that area? I'm a software engineer with lots of experience and a bachelors and masters degree from a top tier university.

It's Silicon Valley...

* How's the weather?

Nicer than Boston, not as nice as Southern Cal or East Bay.

* For those that have also lived near Boston, how does it compare?

N/A

 

[IGBT]

..I live in SF and I can tell you it's a gawd awful expensive place to live. All the other things mentioned i.e. nightlife etc will be largely unaffordable unless you have a greatly above average revenue flow. Many here are up to their arse ain alligators and work two jobs just to make house payments.

 

[MetalMat]

Usually you can get a cost of living adjustment when moving out there but most of the time it is a joke compared to how expensive it really is. That said, from what I understand Boston is also pretty expensive to live in.

 

[zinfamous]

when selecting residency programs several years ago, my brother was choosing between Stanford and Boston at one point, with the intent of moving back to NC after the ~4 year residency. He visited both areas in February.

Needless to say, the only choice quickly became Stanford. And he and the wife are still in Palo Alto area (Redwood City) after 6, nearly 7 years. Palo Alto itself can be ridiculous expensive, but there are surrounding areas (Like Redwood) that are more ..."affordable."

 

[Anubis]

Originally posted by: IGBT
..I live in SF and I can tell you it's a gawd awful expensive place to live. A

SF IIRC is the most expensive place to live in the US

Boston is #2

it wont be THAT much different

 

[brikis98]

Originally posted by: trmiv
-Plenty. You're in a college town (albeit a stuffy, pretentious one), and you're close to San Francisco.

How close is it, exactly? I mean, I can obviously look on a map and see the number of miles, but without knowing the situation there in terms of traffic, public transportation and parking situation, it's still a bit hard to judge. Is San Francisco close enough to drop by whenever or is it far enough that you'd only bother going there on a weekend?

Originally posted by: trmiv
http://www.bestplaces.net/COL/

Thanks for the link. I compared Boston to Palo Alto and while most of the cost of living indexes were close, the "housing is 196% more expensive in Palo Alto." Dang.

Any idea if that figure is for buying a house or renting? Poking around craigslist, it looked like we could get a 1 bedroom in the $1500/month range, which isn't that different from the Boston area. I mean, none of the prices on there were by any definition cheap, but from a quick look, it didn't seem "196%" more expensive...

Originally posted by: trmiv
In that area, it sucks. You will need a car. BART is useful for a lot of the Bay Area, but it doesn't run to Palo Alto.

That's a big downer. I friggin hate driving and would love to be able to take public transportation everywhere. I own a car here though and we had been considering driving it to CA as a kind of road trip and moving trip combo.

 

[Corporate Thug]

* What can you do for fun in the area? How is the night life? Just for reference, we're both 24.

There is plenty to do in Palo, but SF would be a more fun night.

* How much more expensive is it to live there? Rent, food, entertainment?

Very expensive, but cheaper than SF.

* How is the public transportation? Traffic? Can I get by without a car?

Not sure about this one.

* How is the job market in that area? I'm a software engineer with lots of experience and a bachelors and masters degree from a top tier university.

It's Silicon Valley...

* How's the weather?

Nicer than Boston, not as nice as Southern Cal or East Bay.

* For those that have also lived near Boston, how does it compare?

N/A

 

[DarrelSPowers]

Originally posted by: trmiv

http://www.bestplaces.net/COL/

I don't know if I trust that site... it told me that SanDiego is 39% more expensive city to live in than Boston, mostly due to housing prices. I find this VERY hard to believe, simply based on comparing the rooms for rent on craigslist...

But I could be crazy.

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: Codewiz
Here is the thing. You do NOT leave your current job until you have a job lined up out there. Simple as that.

Yup, and also give her some time to settle first if possible... maybe she'll hate it there and you don't want to screw yourself entirely without [having her] feeling out that area first.

 

[trmiv]

Originally posted by: brikis98

Originally posted by: trmiv
-Plenty. You're in a college town (albeit a stuffy, pretentious one), and you're close to San Francisco.

How close is it, exactly? I mean, I can obviously look on a map and see the number of miles, but without knowing the situation there in terms of traffic, public transportation and parking situation, it's still a bit hard to judge. Is San Francisco close enough to drop by whenever or is it far enough that you'd only bother going there on a weekend?

Originally posted by: trmiv
http://www.bestplaces.net/COL/

Thanks for the link. I compared Boston to Palo Alto and while most of the cost of living indexes were close, the "housing is 196% more expensive in Palo Alto." Dang.

Any idea if that figure is for buying a house or renting? Poking around craigslist, it looked like we could get a 1 bedroom in the $1500/month range, which isn't that different from the Boston area. I mean, none of the prices on there were by any definition cheap, but from a quick look, it didn't seem "196%" more expensive...

Originally posted by: trmiv
In that area, it sucks. You will need a car. BART is useful for a lot of the Bay Area, but it doesn't run to Palo Alto.

That's a big downer. I friggin hate driving and would love to be able to take public transportation everywhere. I own a car here though and we had been considering driving it to CA as a kind of road trip.

SF is close enough to drop by whenever you want.

 

[zinfamous]

* How is the job market in that area? I'm a software engineer with lots of experience and a bachelors and masters degree from a top tier university.

just saw this part. Yes, the economy has recently hit Silicon valley, but if you're trying to compare your prospects in Boston to prospects in San Jose, then you must not know your industry very well

PT is certainly way better in Boston, but depending on where you live, you can easily bike to work and back year-round. (It's been high 60s-80s last 3 weeks here. unusual during the "rainy season," but not uncommon). There are tons of things to do: great restaurants, college town, but it is kind-of suburby. Things are more spread-out and in the long-run, a car is necessary.

SF is less than an hour away, Tahoe is ~4 hours from Palo Alto, the pacific, Big Sur, Redwood national forest, Yosemite....on and on. Nowhere else really compares to CA in terms of environmental diversity, things to do, etc.

I live in Berkeley, and despite having what many consider the best concentration of great restaurants (even moreso than SF), I eat rather cheaply, and with quality. I recently moved from Chicago, and We're paying ~30% the cost of all produce in Berkeley that we were spending in Chicago; and quality is much, much better. Not sure what kind of markets Palo Alto has compared to Berkeley, but from my experience it's not as good.

As far as rent goes, Palo Alto would be comparable to Boston...maybe a wee bit more depending on what you're looking for, or also a good bit cheaper. All depends.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Anubis

Originally posted by: IGBT
..I live in SF and I can tell you it's a gawd awful expensive place to live. A

SF IIRC is the most expensive place to live in the US

Boston is #2

it wont be THAT much different

Highest ave Real Estate though is Atherton, right next to Palo Alto. that is where Steve Jobs lives. Downtown Palo Alto tends to match much of SF in terms of property value.

 

[Farang]

Originally posted by: rh71
Yup, and also give her some time to settle first if possible... maybe she'll hate it there and you don't want to screw yourself entirely without [having her] feeling out that area first.

hehehehe... hehe

 

[Oyeve]

The real question you need to ask yourself is HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE HER and how much does she love you? First real GF? Also, she will be in school for YEARS and you may not see much of her anyway. Think long and hard.

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: Farang

Originally posted by: rh71
Yup, and also give her some time to settle first if possible... maybe she'll hate it there and you don't want to screw yourself entirely without [having her] feeling out that area first.

hehehehe... hehe

damn, I'm usually pretty good about avoiding those.

Originally posted by: Oyeve
Think long and hard.

 

[MichaelD]

Based on the mean-age of this forum's poster base, I can't say I'm surprised at the "How's the night life?" question.

If I'm not mistaken (and I'm not) the OP is questioning if he should move to the other side of the country with his GF. And you're wondering about night life? Trying to get the digits of some ho outside the bathrooms?

If you really loved her, you wouldn't be worried about the nightlife there. AND, oh yeah, AND....if you both were READY for a committed relationship, neither one of you would be worried about "the nightlife." People in committed, adult relationships don't go to meat markets, period. Just to be there (whether you're "shopping" or not) is a bad thing.

What I'm trying to say, in my not so gentle way, is that it's obvious that you're not ready for marriage. Let the relationship run it's course, or break up before she moves to avoid the pain and guilt you both are sure to feel. I.E. mostly YOU feeling the pain b/c she'll be on her back after her second night out on the town there.

Reality sucks. Someday, you'll be old and bitter like me and tired of the single scene and you'll settle down and get married. And then you die. It's the way of the world and the circle of life.

Enjoy your young, single years. You both were 20 when you met; neither of you knew your ass from your elbow back then...3.5 years later, not much has changed. Trust me on this one.

 

[thomsbrain]

*There are clubs in San Jose and San Francisco. SF also has rock and jazz clubs. Hiking, biking, etc. Beach is 40 minutes away. Fishing in Bay is 10 minutes away. I've watched people catch sharks and rays out of the Bay near Palo Alto.
*In Palo Alto itself, expect to pay at least $1500 for a starter one bedroom apartment. Maybe more. Houses in Palo Alto are nearly all $1 million at the low end. Steve Jobs lives there, so that should tell you something. But there are cheaper cities if you don't mind commuting.
*Public transportation isn't too great. There are rail lines to SF, and some bus service, but don't expect big-city-style options. Silicon Valley is like Los Angeles in that it was built with car ownership in mind, so nearly everyone has one per driver.
*Job market for software should be better than anywhere else in the nation, but keep in mind that even tech has been hit hard by the economy meltdown. Jobs are being cut like crazy. Line one up before you move unless you have a giant safety cushion.
*Weather is very nice. It's California! Rarely will drop below freezing, rarely will top 95 in the summer. Most days will be between 60-75, year-round.
*haven't been to Boston before.

 

[DarrelSPowers]

Originally posted by: MichaelD
Based on the mean-age of this forum's poster base, I can't say I'm surprised at the "How's the night life?" question.

If I'm not mistaken (and I'm not) the OP is questioning if he should move to the other side of the country with his GF. And you're wondering about night life? Trying to get the digits of some ho outside the bathrooms?

If you really loved her, you wouldn't be worried about the nightlife there. AND, oh yeah, AND....if you both were READY for a committed relationship, neither one of you would be worried about "the nightlife." People in committed, adult relationships don't go to meat markets, period. Just to be there (whether you're "shopping" or not) is a bad thing.

What I'm trying to say, in my not so gentle way, is that it's obvious that you're not ready for marriage. Let the relationship run it's course, or break up before she moves to avoid the pain and guilt you both are sure to feel. I.E. mostly YOU feeling the pain b/c she'll be on her back after her second night out on the town there.

Reality sucks. Someday, you'll be old and bitter like me and tired of the single scene and you'll settle down and get married. And then you die. It's the way of the world and the circle of life.

Enjoy your young, single years. You both were 20 when you met; neither of you knew your ass from your elbow back then...3.5 years later, not much has changed. Trust me on this one.

THIS.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: brikis98

Originally posted by: trmiv
-Plenty. You're in a college town (albeit a stuffy, pretentious one), and you're close to San Francisco.

How close is it, exactly? I mean, I can obviously look on a map and see the number of miles, but without knowing the situation there in terms of traffic, public transportation and parking situation, it's still a bit hard to judge. Is San Francisco close enough to drop by whenever or is it far enough that you'd only bother going there on a weekend?

Originally posted by: trmiv
http://www.bestplaces.net/COL/

Thanks for the link. I compared Boston to Palo Alto and while most of the cost of living indexes were close, the "housing is 196% more expensive in Palo Alto." Dang.

Any idea if that figure is for buying a house or renting? Poking around craigslist, it looked like we could get a 1 bedroom in the $1500/month range, which isn't that different from the Boston area. I mean, none of the prices on there were by any definition cheap, but from a quick look, it didn't seem "196%" more expensive...

Originally posted by: trmiv
In that area, it sucks. You will need a car. BART is useful for a lot of the Bay Area, but it doesn't run to Palo Alto.

That's a big downer. I friggin hate driving and would love to be able to take public transportation everywhere. I own a car here though and we had been considering driving it to CA as a kind of road trip and moving trip combo.

CalTran services the peninsula area, and can take you to BART, and thus SFO, SF and the East Bay (Berkeley, Oakland, etc). Of course, it's not nearly as convenient as it is in Boston.

I believe my bro and his wife were paying ~1900 for 3 BR, 1 BA attached house w/ Back yard in Menlo Park. He biked to Stanford Hospital, and still does in Redwood City.

Don't limit your search to Palo Alto.

 

[Anubis]

Originally posted by: MichaelD
Based on the mean-age of this forum's poster base, I can't say I'm surprised at the "How's the night life?" question.

If I'm not mistaken (and I'm not) the OP is questioning if he should move to the other side of the country with his GF. And you're wondering about night life? Trying to get the digits of some ho outside the bathrooms?

If you really loved her, you wouldn't be worried about the nightlife there. AND, oh yeah, AND....if you both were READY for a committed relationship, neither one of you would be worried about "the nightlife." People in committed, adult relationships don't go to meat markets, period. Just to be there (whether you're "shopping" or not) is a bad thing.

What I'm trying to say, in my not so gentle way, is that it's obvious that you're not ready for marriage. Let the relationship run it's course, or break up before she moves to avoid the pain and guilt you both are sure to feel. I.E. mostly YOU feeling the pain b/c she'll be on her back after her second night out on the town there.

Reality sucks. Someday, you'll be old and bitter like me and tired of the single scene and you'll settle down and get married. And then you die. It's the way of the world and the circle of life.

Enjoy your young, single years. You both were 20 when you met; neither of you knew your ass from your elbow back then...3.5 years later, not much has changed. Trust me on this one.

some people do like to go out together even when they are married just thought id point that out