Over 30? Close? Ever think about all those women you had a relationship with? What went wrong?

MichaelD

Lifer
Jan 16, 2001
31,529
3
76
I was contemplating tonight. Um....contemplating is__bad, mm'kay? :confused:

I'm not lonely; most of my 30-something friends (female AND male) that are married are unhappy) Yet I wonder "what went wrong?" w/me? :eek:

I have the kid. I have child support payment. I have the battle scars. I have the stories to tell. Many, many, too many stories...yet each one is different. No two excuses alike, I guess. :)

Most foks get/got married in their mid-20's; I didn't. What's your story?

I never thought it would come to this...this is one step short of a personal ad, for Chrissakes.!

 

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
2
0
A LOT.

50 and never been married!

I kept holding out for Ms. Perfect.

Have come to the realization that I should have just settled for Ms. "I can put up with most of your sh!t"
 

MichaelD

Lifer
Jan 16, 2001
31,529
3
76
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
A LOT.

50 and never been married!

I kept holding out for Ms. Perfect.

Have come to the realization that I should have just settled for Ms. "I can put up with most of your sh!t"
:Q My soulmate!!! Um...in a strictly, heterosexual, manly, non-threating kind of way, of course!! :) i've got one of those...she's pregnant w/someone else's kid right now... Life sucks. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. I was supposed to wind up with one of the models from The Price Is Right...the tall, skinny blond or the pixie redhead would've been fine.
 

AnyMal

Lifer
Nov 21, 2001
15,780
0
76
One day at a time, that's how I look at it. I'm almost 32 and been through most crap you've been through. Nasty divorce, bitch of ex-wife, child upport, all that good stuff. But you can't live the rest of your life analyzing and blaming. I am a risk taker and an optimist by nature, so I jumped into marriage again.
 

Sluggo

Lifer
Jun 12, 2000
15,488
5
81
Cant answer you.

Got married when I was 25 (she was 22), 14 years later we are still going strong, no major problems to speak of.

Our secret......we dont have kids and we keep seperate checking accounts. :D
 

bigrash

Lifer
Feb 20, 2001
17,653
28
91
I'm 26 and I've been wondering about that since most of my close friends are getting married now. I went to visit an old place where I used to work and I swear, 4 people asked me "So when you getting married?". But I'm in no rush. The longer I'm single, the more fun I get to have.

I do know what went wrong with my relationships though. I keep going out with girls who have kids, were married in the past or have some other major baggage. The two times I fell in love, it was with the wrong type of person.
 

MichaelD

Lifer
Jan 16, 2001
31,529
3
76
Originally posted by: AnyMal
One day at a time, that's how I look at it. I'm almost 32 and been through most crap you've been through. Nasty divorce, bitch of ex-wife, child upport, all that good stuff. But you can't live the rest of your life analyzing and blaming. I am a risk taker and an optimist by nature, so I jumped into marriage again.
Rock on, Andy. :) I'm a risk-taker myself...when the situation is right. So far, no right situations. Lots of "almosts" though. :eek:

Sluggo,
I hear that on the separate checking accounts!! The girl I last lived with, we did the same thing for almost two years. The bills in her name vs. the bills in my name...we'd "split them down the middle" and figure out who owed whom. It was usualy rectifiable thru "favors." :D

Hey, nothin' ain't free, right? :D


bigrash
Man, once you pass 30, they ALL have kids...not only that, but they have like, 2 or 3 kids...all almost teens. :( Nothing's easy, man!

 

AnyMal

Lifer
Nov 21, 2001
15,780
0
76
Originally posted by: MichaelD
Originally posted by: AnyMal
One day at a time, that's how I look at it. I'm almost 32 and been through most crap you've been through. Nasty divorce, bitch of ex-wife, child upport, all that good stuff. But you can't live the rest of your life analyzing and blaming. I am a risk taker and an optimist by nature, so I jumped into marriage again.
Rock on, Andy. :) I'm a risk-taker myself...when the situation is right. So far, no right situations. Lots of "almosts" though. :eek:

Sluggo,
I hear that on the separate checking accounts!! The girl I last lived with, we did the same thing for almost two years. The bills in her name vs. the bills in my name...we'd "split them down the middle" and figure out who owed whom. It was usualy rectifiable thru "favors." :D

Hey, nothin' ain't free, right? :D


bigrash
Man, once you pass 30, they ALL have kids...not only that, but they have like, 2 or 3 kids...all almost teens. :( Nothing's easy, man!
I agree with Sluggo, separate accounts is the ONLY way to go.

Michael - for what it's worth, don't bother with personals, at least for me they never worked. You'll meet "her" when you least expect it, that's what happened to me. BTW, good to see you here again :beer::D:beer:
 

MichaelD

Lifer
Jan 16, 2001
31,529
3
76
Thanks Andy. It's good to be here again. :) Life's just really strange right now. :confused: Good that my personal psychiatrist, AKA "ATOT" is here for me. :D
 

Blieb

Diamond Member
Apr 17, 2000
3,475
0
76
Originally posted by: rgwalt
Just for you, MichaelD: Dysfunction

:D

Seriously though, sometimes this is how I feel, though I'm only 24.

R
*shrug* ... I'm 24, more and more people my age have kids ... by the time I'm 30, most will be married, taken, strapped with tons of kids, or just out of divorce ... or nuts ...

farque. :beer:
 

SCSIfreek

Diamond Member
Mar 3, 2000
3,216
0
0
I cant really relate but I'm almost 30 and going strong with my GF of 6 years. :) Someday you'll find that special someone that takes you to a whole new level(relationship).

Good luck!


Scsi
 

bradruth

Lifer
Aug 9, 2002
13,479
2
81
20 years old, not married, no current girlfriend. I have 2 years of college left and then when I have my career started I'll think about gettin' hitched. Not until then though.
 

Feldenak

Lifer
Jan 31, 2003
14,093
1
0
I'm 29 but I went through what you're feeling about 5 years ago. I had just crawled out of an alcohol bottle and was analyzing where my life was at that point.
 

dirtboy

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
6,745
1
81
I'm a couple years from 30. Naturally I think about all those women I had relationships and every time I think about how worthless they were and how I am glad I'm not with any one of them right now.

I did like most people and I blindly got married when I was 25. Luckily for me I got out two years later without making any children.

All I can say is that I am happier than I have every been. Not having a woman to tell me what to do or to complain about everything I do or have to listen about their neverending problems... it's great. :)

When I think about getting remarried, it's scary. When I think about having a kid; there's no way. I can't understand why I'd want to trade happiness for misery.
 

conjur

No Lifer
Jun 7, 2001
58,686
2
0
Hell...I'm pushing 40 in a couple of years and I'm thinking...wow...to restart life at 40 just isn't the easiest thing to do.

I just may end up a bachelor for the rest of my days.
 

Nitemare

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
35,466
1
76
30 now, been married for 4 1/2 years.

The key is to finding someone you are mostly compatible with and working on the rest. Meet them doing hobbies that you enjoy or else you will find them when you least expect it....like an AOL Christian chat room :eek:
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,448
826
126
I've been in a few relationships before my wife. A few were long term. Yes, I do still think about some of them from time to time. I even talk to with one once or twice a year via e-mail or a phone call (she is usually the one calling me), we are friends now (although, she lives in Phoenix and I live in Southern California).

I married at the age of 25. I think this was the right time for me and after almost 12 years of marriage we are still very happy together.
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,448
826
126
Originally posted by: Sluggo
Cant answer you.

Got married when I was 25 (she was 22), 14 years later we are still going strong, no major problems to speak of.

Our secret......we dont have kids and we keep seperate checking accounts. :D
We used to keep seperate checking accounts up until about 7 years ago when we moved to San Diego and bought a house. Now it is all intermingled. No problems with that yet. We also have a kid now and couldn't be happier.
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,302
10
81
Originally posted by: MichaelD
Man, once you pass 30, they ALL have kids...not only that, but they have like, 2 or 3 kids...all almost teens. :( Nothing's easy, man!
This is true, but it's not always a bad thing. I just got back last night from spending the weekend with LIta, a woman I've known for five years, a woman who is 34 (I'm 35) and has two teenagers. I like her kids, her kids like me, and I really like her; if we lived closer together, we'd undoubtedly be together on a more permanent basis. For now, she characterizes our relationship as "very, very good friends with benefits", and she's quite the firecracker. It's a shame she lives three hours away, because she's as close to the perfect woman for me as I think I'm ever likely to find...

What goes wrong? When I was 26, I got together with my ex, Nichole, when she was 19. We stayed together for a total of seven years, but in a very rocky relationship with a couple of breakups inbetween where we both dated other people (which is when I first met the girl mentioned above). Everything went wrong with our relationship. She was pushing to get married and have kids, and I wasn't. She was in that "party" stage that girls in their early 20's always get into. She had issues with exes (yes, more than one!), and I had issues with her having those issues. She had problems with jealousy and insecurity; she was one of those women who always complained about who I was "looking at" and which women were wearing outfits that caused their breasts to be prominently displayed. Of course, she had the classic double standard going on, as she had no problem with flirting with guys ("oh, but it's not like that" and when I complained about this, I got the "but you're a guy, so it's different" speech).. She had a mental template of how relationships should work that was built from movies like Bed of Roses; I wasn't "romantic" enough. I am apparently "emotionally unavailable".. She and I are friends now, we both know that we'll never get back together, and that's ok with the both of us.
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
what goes wrong?

Women are crazy, borderline insane and want everything because they really have no clue who they are or what they want and can change their mind in a heartbeat.
 

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