Ouch, haven't been yelled at like that in awhile... :( :( :(

[Grasshopper27]

Well, Thumper's pissed at me now...

I was debating if I should post this or not, but I'm kinda upset so I need to vent. Humor me...

I've decided to go back to work for my old employer flying the (now repaired) 206 and 407 just like before. I actually made this decision a few days ago, but didn't tell her until tonight.

She was less than thrilled...

Sigh... I understand she's upset, from her viewpoint the helicopter almost killed me, and she doesn't want to lose me which is nice to know, but it doesn't make her feel good about it. She thinks I should find someone else to work for, or do something else for awhile, but the truth is, flying is in my blood, I love this too much to give it up.

The more I tried to explain this, the angrier she got. Then I made the mistake of pointing out that these things actually have good safety records...

She finally hung up on me, and she NEVER hangs up on me... She called me back 15 minutes later to tell me she was sorry for doing that, but that misses the point, she was really, really upset...

She said she wanted some time to calm down, then we could talk again. I'm going over there in an hour or so and I'll take some Rocky Road Ice Cream, that usually cheers her up. We'll sit and talk for four hours like we always do, but I'm sure we'll figure it out.

Sigh...

I'm depressed, but I know it will be ok... My only fear is that she'll never really be comfortable with this. I don't want to make her miserable, but I don't want to give up flying. I get the feeling that perhaps this is going to be an issue between us, I wish there was someone we could both talk to about this, it is a big thing...

Grasshopper

 

[Brutuskend]

I feel your pain....

women/men

 

[notfred]

Good for you!

You needed a job, and it's what you love to do. She has to learn to accept that you're going to do what you love.

 

[amdskip]

Good choice. You should be flexible in a relationship but you shouldn't have to give something up if your significant other does not like it. This is kind of like my friend who loves hunting but the potential significant other hates it.

 

[Yeeny]

Originally posted by: notfred
Good for you!

You needed a job, and it's what you love to do. She has to learn to accept that you're going to do what you love.

She doesn't have to accept anything she doesn't want to, she could decide that living a life of worrying isn't what she wants.

Grasshopper: Put yourself in her shoes, and think about how you would feel, and go from there. Is it possible to get a flying job elsewhere, to compromise and maybe ease her worry some? Good luck, you seem like a good guy, and I am sure you two will work it out in the end.

 

[Ornery]

Buy a million dollar insurance policy with her as the beneficiary. Even if you end up a small grease spot on a hillside, she'll be livin' large, and be thinking of you every time she buys another truckload of rocky road!

 

[Grasshopper27]

Well, I asked her when she called me back if we were going to be ok, she said yea, we would be... I'm not worried about us splitting or anything, we both love each other far too much to let something like this get in the way.

That being said, when she gets mad about something, ouch... Glad she wasn't here, she probably would have hurt me. :frown:

Grasshopper

 

[Yeeny]

Originally posted by: grasshopper26
Well, I asked her when she called me back if we were going to be ok, she said yea, we would be... I'm not worried about us splitting or anything, we both love each other far too much to let something like this get in the way.

That being said, when she gets mad about something, ouch... Glad she wasn't here, she probably would have hurt me. :frown:

Grasshopper

lol, shes a frisky one eh? And I was not saying she would break up with you at all. That was just in response to the she has to accept comment that was made.

 

[notfred]

Originally posted by: GirlFriday

Originally posted by: notfred
Good for you!

You needed a job, and it's what you love to do. She has to learn to accept that you're going to do what you love.

She doesn't have to accept anything she doesn't want to, she could decide that living a life of worrying isn't what she wants.

She does if she wants to have a real relationship with him. You can't just tell your spouse to give up what they love and expect them to live with it cause it eases your nerves.

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: Ornery
Buy a million dollar insurance policy with her as the beneficiary. Even if you end up a small grease spot on a hillside, she'll be livin' large, and be thinking of you every time she buys another truckload of rocky road!

ROTFL!!!

Do you have *ANY* idea how much life insurance costs for a professional helicopter pilot?

Take the quotes you see on TV and add a zero to the end of them to put it in the ballpark. :disgust:

But yes, I will get life insurance because I want her to be taken care of if the worst were to happen to me.

She does love anything chocolate, but Rocky Road is her favorite!

Grasshopper

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: grasshopper26
Well, I asked her when she called me back if we were going to be ok, she said yea, we would be... I'm not worried about us splitting or anything, we both love each other far too much to let something like this get in the way.

That being said, when she gets mad about something, ouch... Glad she wasn't here, she probably would have hurt me. :frown:

Grasshopper

hmm any chance she is a redhead? my wife is..and let me tell you when she is mad i leave! and hide! or go see my mom in OR!

 

[StageLeft]

If you fold I imagine you'll resent her for it for years/forever, so that probably won't work - if you feel like you're "folding" that is. If you discuss it and end up quiting being a pilot that's a different thing. Of course knowing you from the boards I can't see that happening. So really she has to probably live with it if she wants to be with you.

Why did you stay with this place by the way in the end and not a new one which may have newer choppers? Kind of a crappy situation but you love to fly. I'm sure in time she'll be able to handle it. Cop's wives and soldier's wifes and firefighter's wives, and software developer's wives all have to learn to as well.

Forget the one about the SW developers.

 

[ElFenix]

wow, yagt from grasshopper? jeez!

 

[lilFajita]

sorry grasshopper

in true grasshopper form, i offer

***big lilFajita hug***

i'm sure it will be fine...the best feeling is to know it will be ok, that's it is just something you need to work through. perhaps there is someone you can talk to about this...I think lots of people go to counseling with a priest or other religious figure often before marrage, right?

 

[brxndxn]

Just tell her it's nicer to be up that high with a helicopter than without one.

Tell her you've decided to become the ultimate fighting champion instead of a pilot.

Tell her that you quit your old job as an Alaskan fisherman (dangerous job) to become a pilot (safer job) just for her.

Sex is better when you live on the edge.


Don't take my advice.

 

[Ornery]

"Do you have *ANY* idea how much life insurance costs for a professional helicopter pilot?"

Yes I do, and do you know why? Apparently Thumper does!

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: GirlFriday
Grasshopper: Put yourself in her shoes, and think about how you would feel, and go from there. Is it possible to get a flying job elsewhere, to compromise and maybe ease her worry some? Good luck, you seem like a good guy, and I am sure you two will work it out in the end.

Oh, I understand how she feels, she probably doesn't like me flying helicopters (even more so these specific helicopters) about ten times as much as I don't like her working at that restarunt... The drunks are a pain, and they treat her like a peice of meat, but at least they have very little chance of killing her. The odds are low, but it could happen to me someday in my flying.

So I do understand. This being said, this is what I want to do, this is ALL I want to do. I could do this and be happy, or do anything else and be unhappy. Lousy spot to be in, huh?

In the end, I DO plan to go work for someone else, but right now I REALLY need a job, and if you haven't noticed recently, the aviation world isn't the healthiest thing out there right now.

I'm lucky to have this job held for me, she could hire a replacement in about 3.5 seconds who would probably work for less money.

Of course, my boss knows I'm dependable, reliable, and treat the customers well enough. There is something to be said for that, and my being a good employee obviously paid off in this situation.

Yea, we will work it out, she just needs a chance to be angry with me, I tried to cut that off too soon on the phone, and she got even more angry for it...

We'll have several long talks about this I'm sure...

Grasshopper

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: GirlFriday

Originally posted by: grasshopper26
That being said, when she gets mad about something, ouch... Glad she wasn't here, she probably would have hurt me. :frown:

Grasshopper

lol, shes a frisky one eh?

Yep, she is... But in this case she probably would have punched me to actually punch me, as opposed to what that usually means...

There is one upside to this... I'll go over there, we'll talk for like 4 hours, then we will (of course) have spectacular make-up sex...

Sigh...

Grasshopper

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: waggy
hmm any chance she is a redhead? my wife is..and let me tell you when she is mad i leave! and hide! or go see my mom in OR!

LOL! Actually, no she isn't, but you'd think so sometimes...

She has brown hair which she puts in blond highlights that looks really nice... About 2/3 brown, 1/3 blond... All sexy!!!

Grasshopper

 

[Brutuskend]

Don't forget to take your laundry along!!

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
If you fold I imagine you'll resent her for it for years/forever, so that probably won't work - if you feel like you're "folding" that is. If you discuss it and end up quiting being a pilot that's a different thing. Of course knowing you from the boards I can't see that happening. So really she has to probably live with it if she wants to be with you.

Yea, you're right actually... I *would* resent her if I quit flying because she insisted... So that is no solution either...

Why did you stay with this place by the way in the end and not a new one which may have newer choppers?

It takes time to replace a pilot job, plus it is 10 times easier to find another flying job if you have a current flying job. Just how the business works...

I need to go back to work here for a few months while I look for another job. Another issue is that finding a good job in Dallas might not be possible, I might have to move. If I do that, she'll have to come with... If I kept this job until April when her lease is up, then we could find a place in another city where I can find work and start fresh.

To be honest, I don't know if she fully understands how mobile this career really is, I kinda have avoided talking about that issue. I'm probably going to be working in 4 different cities over the next 20 years, and no... I haven't talked to her about that either... (yea, I'm an idiot, I know...)

Kind of a crappy situation but you love to fly. I'm sure in time she'll be able to handle it. Cop's wives and soldier's wifes and firefighter's wives, and software developer's wives all have to learn to as well.

Forget the one about the SW developers.

LOL! SW Developers, huh? Is that what you do?

Grasshopper

 

[Yeeny]

Originally posted by: notfred

Originally posted by: GirlFriday

Originally posted by: notfred
Good for you!

You needed a job, and it's what you love to do. She has to learn to accept that you're going to do what you love.

She doesn't have to accept anything she doesn't want to, she could decide that living a life of worrying isn't what she wants.

She does if she wants to have a real relationship with him. You can't just tell your spouse to give up what they love and expect them to live with it cause it eases your nerves.

In a real relationship, you don't tell your spouse I'm doing this, so deal either. It's called compromise.

In the end, I DO plan to go work for someone else, but right now I REALLY need a job, and if you haven't noticed recently, the aviation world isn't the healthiest thing out there right now.

Well, I am sure she will understand that, once she calms down. Right now, shes reacting mainly on fear for you. Good for you though, realizing how she feels and listening to her. She should patent you and sell you to women, she would make a fortune.

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: ElFenix
wow, yagt from grasshopper? jeez!

What is yagt?

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: grasshopper26

Originally posted by: waggy
hmm any chance she is a redhead? my wife is..and let me tell you when she is mad i leave! and hide! or go see my mom in OR!

LOL! Actually, no she isn't, but you'd think so sometimes...

She has brown hair which she puts in blond highlights that looks really nice... About 2/3 brown, 1/3 blond... All sexy!!!

Grasshopper

ahh even fake redheads can be bad tempered. hmm maybe its the fact they are women? sigh who knows.

 

[Antisocial Virge]

Good luck. My cousin died flying a copter. He crashed twice and lived through them but the third one did him in.