Other "famous" authors try writing LOTR...

Emos

Golden Member
Oct 27, 2000
1,989
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0
If it's a repost, heck with ya! ;)

Other interpretations of LOTR from "The Straight Dope"

I like the Dr. Seuss one myself...

"Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring!
I am too small to carry this thing!
I can not, will not hold the One.
You have a slim chance, but I have none.
I will not take it on a boat,
I will not take it across a moat.
I cannot take it under Moria,
that's one thing I can't do for ya.
I would not bring it into Mordor,
I would not make it to the border."


-excerpt from Dr. Seuss's LOTR. :D
 

datalink7

Lifer
Jan 23, 2001
16,765
6
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LotR Z
"This foe is beyond any of you... his power Level has reached at least 30,000 after fighting every Dwarf in Moria. Ki Fhy to the gate Aragorn, you must lead them on!" The muscles beneath Gandalf'sGrey Cloak strained in anticipation of the coming battle.

Soon after, when they were nearly at the gate, the Balrog launched a surprise Ki attack, knocking down Borrmir and stunning Blazing Fist Gimli.

Gandfalf turned to face him. "Fool!" said he, I don't have time for this nonsense... "Pure Flame of Arnor Shield Wall Strike!" The massive energy wall sstreaked off towards the Balrog, who was knocked flying... though no-one was sure whether or not he had wings.

"Raaaaauuuugggg! Gandalf, I have not shown you my true power!

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

five minutes later

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaa!

Now I am a Super Balrog 2!!!!! My power level has gone up to 3 million!"

Gandalf just smirked. "I probably shoud have told you, after you left the service of Eru, we figured out a few new tricks. Here's a good one:

Kaaaaaaaaaa------Meeeeeeee------Haaaaaaqa-----Meeeeee----

-The Balrog laughed in anticipation of Gndalf's feeble attack-

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The resulting explosion threw the Balrog back agaoinst the walls of Moria. His expression turned to one of complete disbelief. "Urrrghhh.... Ahhh... Ugghhhhh.... That's...not possible...."

The rest of the Fellowship of the Z Ring stared, twitching slightly and grunting in awe at Gandalf!

Gandalf grinned, "another one of those tricks I learned... I learned how to Hide my POWER level!"
heh:D
 

LethalWolfe

Diamond Member
Apr 14, 2001
3,679
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Originally posted by: ElFenix
If it was written by Robert Jordan it would be 10 books long.

::coughhackcough::
sooo true hehehe!
I like RJ. Even if I started reading the WoT series over 10 years ago, I'm one or two books behind, and it's been so long since the begining I really can't remember what's going on anyway and I end up finding fan made "Cliff's Notes" just so I have a clue. :)


Lethal
 

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