OT: Haven't had one of these in a while :-)

TAandy

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Oct 24, 2002
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Kids' Ideas About Love
Kids, aged 5 to 10, were asked questions about what they thought of love and
marriage. Here's what they said.


Love and Marriage:
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do
it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7

"Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." -- John, age
9

"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest
of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8

"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how
you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9

"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good
too." -- Greg, age 8

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." -- Tom, age 5

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them
interested enough to go for a second date." -- Mike, 10

"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when Dinosaurs is on
television." -- Jill, age 6

"One of the people has freckles, and so he finds somebody else who has
freckles too." -- Andrew, age 6

"My mother says to look for a man who is kind. That's what I'll do. I'll find
somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -- Carolyn, age 8

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't
need that kind of trouble." -- Kenny, age 7

"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons
of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." -- Ava, age 8

"When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl.
He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have
kids and get divorced.'" -- Anita, 9

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." --
Regina, age 10

"Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than once to find a
live one." -- Angie, age 10

"A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases
together." -- Marlon, age 10

"[Being] single is better . . . for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to
change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd figure something out.
I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and
diaper-changing." -- Kirsten, age 10

"Love is foolish...but I still might try it sometime." -- Floyd, age 9

"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to
hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." -- Dave, age 8



Kissing:
"When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down, and they don't
get up for at least an hour." -- Wendy, age 8

"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big
ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." --
Jim, age 10

"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody
sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome
boy, but just for a few hours." -- Kally, age 9

"You learn [how to kiss] right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the
best of you." -- Doug, age 7

"If it's your mother, you can kiss her anytime. But if it's a new person, you
have to ask permission." -- Roger, age 6

"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That's why I
stopped doing it." -- Tammy, age 10

"I know one reason kissing was created. It makes you feel warm all over, and
they didn't always have electric heat or fireplaces or even stoves in their
houses." -- Gina, age 8

"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that."
-- Curt, age 7

"The rules goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry her and
have kids with her. It's the right thing to do." -- Howard, age 8

(on seeing a couple kissing) "He is trying to steal her chewing gum!" -- Boy,
age 6


Beauty:
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it
doesn't hurt to be beautiful." -- Anita, age 8

"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." --
Christine, age 9

"It isn't always how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything, and I
haven't got anybody to marry me yet." -- Brian, age 7


How People In Love Act:
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other
people care more about the food." -- Brad, age 8

"They act mooshy. Like puppy dogs, except puppy dogs don't wag their tails
nearly as much." -- Arnold, age 10

"All of a sudden, the people get movies fever so they can sit together in the
dark." -- Sherm, age 8


"Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing jeans
it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up." -- Sarah, age 9

"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to
order those because it's just like how their hearts are -- on fire." --
Christine, age 9

"See if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love."
-- John, age 9

"Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love." --
Craig, age 9


What Mom and Dad Have In Common:
"Both don't want no more kids." -- Lori, age 8

How To Tell If Two People Are Married:
"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." -- Eddie, age 6

"You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same
kids." -- Derrick, age 8

Deciding Who To Marry:
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports,
she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip
coming." -- Allan, age 10

"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God
decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck
with." -- Kirsten, age 10

Strategies For Making People Fall In Love With You:
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." -- Del, age 6

"Shake your hips and hope for the best." -- Camille, age 9

"Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs...and don't worry if
their parents are right there." -- Manuel, age 8

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention,
but attention ain't the same thing as love." -- Alonzo, age 9

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to
eat. French fries usually works for me." -- Bart, age 9

The Best Age To Get Married:
"Twenty three is the best age because you know the person forever by then." --
Cam, age 10

"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married!" --
Freddie, age 6

Good Advice About Love:
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." -- Dick, age 7


"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each
other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." --
Lynnette, age 8


"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!" --
Ricky, age 7

"Don't forget your wife's name. That will mess up the love." -- Erin, age 8

"Sensitivity don't hurt." -- Robbie, age 8

"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the
trash." -- Erin, age 8

"Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind. Love isn't like
picking what movie you want to watch." -- Natalie, age 9

What To Do When a First Date Turns Sour:
"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and
make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." -- Craig, age 9

What Most People Are Thinking When They Say "I Love You":
"The person is thinking: 'Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at
least once a day.'" -- Michelle, age 9

"Some lovers might be real nervous, so they are glad that they finally got it
out and said it, and now they can go eat." -- Dick, age 7

Why People In Love Often Hold Hands:
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off, because they paid good
money for them." -- Gavin, age 8

"They are just practicing for when they might have to walk down the aisle
someday and do the holy matchimony thing." -- John, age 9

Titles of Love Ballads You Can Sing To Your Loved One:
"'I Love Hamburgers, I Like You!'" -- Eddie, age 6

"'You Are My Darling Even Though You Also Know My Sister.'" -- Larry, age 8

"'I Am In Love With You Most of the Time, But Don't Bother Me When I'm With My
Friends.'" -- Bob, age 9

"'How Do I Love Thee When You're Always Picking Your Nose?'" -- Arnold, age 10

"'Honey, I Got Your Curly Hair and Your Nintendo On My Mind.'" -- Sharon, age
9

"'Hey, Baby, I Don't Like Girls, But I'm Willing To Forget You Are One!'" --
Will, age 7

 

TAandy

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Oct 24, 2002
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Kid Quotes
Sometimes kids say things in innocence that are simply hilarious. Here's an assortment of selected quotations from kids.
________________________________________
Quick Quotations:
? "I'm being haive!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother told him told to behave
? "I'm not an oxymoron!" -- 7 year old
? "TNT." -- Given as an answer for a written spelling bee, when the teacher called the word "dynamite."
? "I'm glad I'm finally eight. This is the oldest I've ever been in my entire life!" -- 8 year old son.
? "Oh, well Mom said all I had to use was the sponge and dish detergent." -- 12 year old daughter, when her father told her he used elbow grease to get the dishes clean
? "Do they look after the Pokemon?" -- City kid, when asked what a gamekeeper does.
? "Why don't you get some expensive money?" -- 3 year old daughter, when told by her mother that she could get a small toy but that the ones asked for were too expensive
? "I have a rock in my nose." -- 2 year old son, greeting his mother after preschool, a full hour after recess was over.
? "There's no one in there." -- 6 year old son, in response to seeing his father hanging pictures and tapping on the walls to find the support beams.
? "Quiet!" -- 4 year old, when asked what begins with 'M' and sounds good.
? "If I was a raccoon I would eat the farmer's corpse." -- A kindergartener, writing a story about what we would do if he were a raccoon
? "Well, sometimes I say something mean to my brother, but I feel really good inside. Does that mean I'm a hypocrite?" -- 7 year old girl, after a Sunday School teacher explained that a hypocrite was someone who says one thing but feels something else.
? "Daddy, did your hair slip?" -- 3 year old son, to his bald but long bearded father
? "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it's printed on the bottom." -- 3 year old son, when his mother asked how his father knew the genders of four new baby kittens
? "How will that help?" -- Kindergarten student, when the class was instructed to hold up two fingers if any of them had to go to the bathroom
? "They didn't see it -- it was all cut off!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother was asked how his grandparents liked his new haircut
? "Tell me when you're asleep, ok?" -- 7 year old son, overheard talking to his 5 year old brother.
? "I had a fraction in my neck and had to go to the hospital for a long time." -- Fifth grader, to his class.
? "Well you're old, and you're not dead." -- "3 year old son, to his father. The comment followed an explanation of why the father's grandparents weren't around anymore.
? "Are you kidding me?! They go together like balogna and cheese! No, wait. More like mayonnaise and bread." -- 9 year old girl, when asked if her brother and cousin hang out a lot.
? "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken. I'm looking for the seal." -- A young son, examining the contents of a box of Animal Crackers
? "Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet." -- 3 year old son, when his mother told him his shoes were on the wrong feet
? "Mommy, you said it would be a shot; instead it was a needle!" -- Boy, overheard at the hospital
? "How do you put make up on your mind?" -- Girl, when told she should make up her mind.
? "I wish someone we knew would die so we could leave them flowers." -- 6 year old girl, upon seeing flowers in a cemetery.
? "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email." -- 4 year old girl, misquoting the Lord's Prayer
? "Watch out, Daddy. Mommy's got her eye on you!" -- 4 year old girl, after hearing her mother telling her father that she'd take an I.O.U. for a promised restaurant dinner.
? "When you were my age, you was just a baby!" -- 5 year old.
? "Why don't they just do what they did in 1899?" -- On preparing for Y2K in 1999.
? "Daddy doesn't like that man, does he?" -- Daughter of John Cleese and Connie Booth, during the filming of the Black Knight scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
________________________________________
I Feel So Old:
? "This is the biggest CD I've ever seen!" -- On first seeing a record.
? "You know those big CDs?" -- High school student describing a record.
________________________________________
What We Learned From the Ice Storm of 1998:
? "Never take your little sister to a shelter." -- 12 year old
? "Trees aren't as strong as I thought they were." -- 11 year old
? "Not to kid around saying timber around people." -- 12 year old
? "Don't live in Maine." -- 13 year old
? "I learned that if you plug your generator into your TV, VCR, or your computer, it will cause too much friction and it will blow up." -- 10 year old
? "I didn't miss school at all. What are you talking about?" -- 15 year old
________________________________________
Kid Stories:
The other day my five year old grandson was lounging on my lap.
? Him: "Poppop, you have hair in your nose."
? Me: "Everybody has hair in their nose."
? Him: "But you have a lot of hair in your nose."
? Me: "Well, it's not growing on top of my head very well. I have to grow it somewhere."
? Him: (thoughtful pause) "Do you want me to pull some of it out for you?"
I declined the offer.
________________________________________
In a preschool class I used to teach, we had two little girls who played every day that they were characters from classic Disney cartoons. One day I heard one calling the other "Allison." I didn't know a single Disney character named Allison, so I asked the little girl who she was today. She replied, "Allison Wonderland."
________________________________________
Conversation overheard at a zoo in Tasmania, where a young kid was looking at a wombat:
? Kid: "Look Dad, dog!"
? Dad: "No, not a dog. Remember, we talked about what this is?"
? Kid: (thinks) "Dog!"
? Dad: "Noooo. It starts with a 'w'."
? Kid: "W......w......w......wdog!"
________________________________________
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
________________________________________
A high school teacher asked when surfing was popular in the USA. A cheerleader in the class said, "The 60s." The teacher asked her to be more specific, and she said, confidently, "The 1960s."
________________________________________
When I called home one day, my six year old son answered the phone. "Hello," he said, panting a little. I said, "Hi, Nick. Wow, you sound out of breath." He replied, "No, I have more."
________________________________________
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
________________________________________

In my Sunday School class, we discussed what we would give up for Lent. One eight year old girl said she'd give up homework. I replied that the idea was to give up something she liked. She said, "But I like homework!" A seven year old boy, in the same class, said he'd give up fighting with his brother. I asked if he could give it up for so long. He said, "Well, it's only until next week, so that's ok."
________________________________________
I told my boys, aged 9 and 6, that I wanted to stop and get some hair coloring. My 6 year old asked what color I was getting and why. I told him that it was just to cover my gray and left it at that. They were like kids in a candy store, searching for the "perfect" color. We agreed on one, bought it, and left. That weekend, at church, a lady said she really liked the color of my hair. My 9 year old beamed and said, "Thanks, I picked it out!"
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Coquito

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Nov 30, 2003
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"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't
need that kind of trouble." -- Kenny, age 7

"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married!" --
Freddie, age 6

:thumbsup::)
 

Fullmetal Chocobo

Moderator<br>Distributed Computing
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May 13, 2003
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Along these lines, I remember going home to help dad with the house, and I was outside taking a break. There is a large water pan near the faucet outside, and the dog and my younger brother (2 years old) would take turns standing in the water. One would get out, the other would get in. Then they would both get out, chase each other (first the dog chasing the kid, then the kid chasing the dog), and then they'd go back in the water. Funniest thing I've ever seen.
 

TAandy

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Oct 24, 2002
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Originally posted by: Fullmetal Chocobo
Along these lines, I remember going home to help dad with the house, and I was outside taking a break. There is a large water pan near the faucet outside, and the dog and my younger brother (2 years old) would take turns standing in the water. One would get out, the other would get in. Then they would both get out, chase each other (first the dog chasing the kid, then the kid chasing the dog), and then they'd go back in the water. Funniest thing I've ever seen.

LOL!! :laugh:

"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!" --
Ricky, age 7
That had me in stitches :) :) :D :D
 

Fardringle

Diamond Member
Oct 23, 2000
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I've seen most of those before, but it has been a while, and they're still definitely worth a chuckle or three! :)

Thanks, Andy!