Onstar commercials

[DrPizza]

Onstar? OMG I don't know what to do! I locked my keys in the car with my children.

Onstar's reply: "Don't worry Ma'am, the doors will be unlocked in just a moment"
My reply: "I'm sorry ma'am, but if you're stupid enough to leave your keys in the car, well, this is just Darwin's way of thinning the gene pool a bit."


I wish I could think of some others right now... I'd have to say that 90% of the callers on those commercials sound like absolute morons. - "Hello, Onstar? Yeah, someone just stole everything I have. What should I do?" "Don't worry, ma'am, help is on it way, I'll call 911 for you..." (and as would be added by me if I worked at Onstar: "...because you're obviously too friggin stupid to remember 9-1-1")

 

[Sluggo]

I thought that maybe you had to be a complete moron to subscribe to OnStar. Maybe there was an IQ test or something. That being said I assume I would qualify since I have locked my keys in the car several times in my life. Yippee for cars with a keypad on the door, I use that feature all the time.



My favorite:

Lady drops her car keys in a public toilet, they send someone out from a local dealer with new car keys. I wonder if they bill for crap like that.

 

[Amorphus]

On the other hand, Onstar can track your car if it gets stolen, can help with minor inconveniences such as car keys locked in the car, and the operators can do things for you you couldn't if you were, say, hurt in a wreck. Some people don't have cell phones, and some people may not be able to find them quickly enough.

Your point is moot.

 

[Excelsior]

It could be worse
You can imagine my glee when a coworker sent me a link to BlondeStar. Need I say more about the premise?

I just couldn't resist sharing a bit . . .

ADVISOR: BlondeStar Emergency, this is Steve. Is there an emergency in your vehicle?

BLONDE: Ohmigod! Ohmigod! I've locked myself in my car and the keys are on the outside. Ohmigod!

A: Ma'am, ma'am. I need you to calm down.

B: OK, it's just that the windows are rolled up, and I'm starting to sweat. My keys are on the outside.

A: Now, your keys are on the outside of the vehicle?

B: Yes, ohmigod!

A: Now, does your car have automatic locks or . . . ?

B: Yes, yes, yes.

A: OK, here's what I need you to do: Take hold of the inside of your door handle there. Are you doing this?

B: Ummm . . .

A: The shiny thing. Grab the shiny thing.

B: OK, I've got it. I've got it.

A: OK, now give that a tug.

B: OK.

A: Did it open?

B: Yes! Ohmigod, thank you!

A: OK, now what is that noise?

B: Oh, that's my door alarm.

A: Yeah, but that only happens if the keys are in the ignition, Hon . . .

 

[allisolm]

You can listen to the Blondestar thing here.

 

[iamwiz82]

Lola's aunt had an Envoy that would randomly lock it's doors. Onstar had to open them more than once.