OMG, Customers crack me up.

[PlatinumGold]

so, i work for an ISP call center. cx calls in. he says after install internet was working. he left the home for a while came back and "Nothing works". well anyone who has done tech support knows what "nothing works" means.

so i ask him to go to start, control panel, he says "nothing works". i said, so what do you see on the screen, he says "Screen is black".

(deep breath). ok, you do realize that your computer has to be on for the internet to work right? and that your computer being off has NOTHING to do with the ISP right?

"No" he says "this never happened before you came in and set us up".

i said, doesn't matter who you talk to, any one with a computer background will tell you that your computer being on is not an ISP issue.

he says, it has to be, i've never had problems with this laptop before.

who makes your laptop?

dell, he says.

i said, even if you ask dell, they will tell you that this is not an ISP issue, would you like to talk to dell?

yes, he says. so i dialed dells number and hit the transfer button.



all good right?


nope, he calls BACK and against all odds, i get him AGAIN.

he says "ok, mb you are right". how many cables are supposed to be in the back of a laptop?

i said, well if you are not wireless internet, at least 2. he says, well i have only 1 blue one (ethernet cable).

now he wants me to help him locate his Power adapter as he doesn't know what it looks like. (remember now, this is all over the phone).

i again insisted that not only is it not my responsibility but if he picks up the wrong one by mistake and plugs it into his dell and it blows out his dell, i can't be responsible and again i sent him to dell.


sorry about the long story, but i think it's worth the read.

 

[Jules]

lol

 

[djdawn]

I had one girl put in a work request asking someone to look at her pc because it would constantly type in the letter "b". She mentions that this is a large issue that has been affecting her productivity and needs someone to look at it asap. I go to her desk, open up notepad to see if the letter "b" would get spammed.. no dice. She points at her laptop and exclaims that it only happens when she closes the lcd lid. She closes it, and we both observe that the letter "b" would get spammed. I lift her laptop lcd so it's in the upright position and there is a piece of gum in the middle of her lcd. I close it while looking to see where the piece of gum lands and by chance it aligns with the b button on the laptop keyboard.
How this girl didn't notice the pig piece of gum on her laptop screen is beyond me, and the laptop is intended to be used at home so you can do work there as well. Even more so to put in a work request for someone to look at it.

 

[Slew Foot]

And this is why I think 6% umemployment is pretty good, there are a lot of idiots out there.

 

[hanoverphist]

my office "manager" called me one time saying that rebooting her computer wasnt having any effect on the problem she had. i went and looked at it, rebooted and everything worked great. the network had dropped out for some reason that i never looked into, but was reset with a reboot. annoying, but not an emergency. she had this issue a few times over the next week, which made me pull the box for repair. when she said the same thing was happening with her new box i went and asked her how she was rebooting. she was turning the monitor off and on as a reboot, and the reason was that her web browser wouldnt find her home page. her homepage was set to about:blank. i usually hit esc and go to google to make sure the net works, since it usually goes to our utilities page first. she never even tried to change the address to google or any other site, assuming that it was down when it was blank. and this lady is in charge of all our payroll.

 

[sygyzy]

That is a good story. Is "cx" industry code for Customer?

 

[RichardE]

I think the worst is when I worked for comcast billing, and having to deal with the customers from MI specifically who seem to think cable/internet/cdv was a charity and not a luxury and getting the "well I'll pay my bill but I guess Im not gonna eat this week"

Lady, if your stuck between eating or paying to watch American Idol I'd pick up a book and go get some food.

 

[nboy22]

Originally posted by: sygyzy
That is a good story. Is "cx" industry code for Customer?

Yes, there are various notes that are typed, in my notes I type in CU or just customer, doesn't matter.

And yes, customers are sooooo uneducated sometimes it's funny

One lady calls me in on the 4th of July for AT&T DSL service (I work in tech support) and goes "I CAN'T MAKE A GOD DAMN CALL TO CHINA AT&T IS HORRIBLE I HATE AT&T SO BAD I WILL NEVER RECOMMEND AT&T TO ANYONE THEY ARE SO BAD, NOBODY WILL ANSWER THE PHONE BUT YOU!"

I had to tell her that lucky for the billing and all other departments, they get to go home and sleep at night and get to take national holidays off but tech support is open 24/7, 365 days a year. Not only that, I had to tell her that this is the DSL TECH SUPPORT department, not the telephone department.

And I got two customers yesterday too that say this

"This modem sucks, I don't even know why this doesn't work it just doesn't make any sense, I've had (Insert Time Warner/Charter here) and I had no problems whatsoever so that doesn't make any sense blah blah blah... lol

Well guess what? Did you notice that those hook into the COAXIAL line for your CABLE? and not your phone line?! People are so lacking in the observation department, who wouldn't notice something like that?

 

[imported_DocHolliday]

Noooooooooope I couldn't deal with any of that shit....

 

[40Hands]

I had one woman who called me to tell me her computer wasn't reading a CD. I go down and look in her drive and there is no disc. I told her that and she says that was impossible and that she put it in. So when I finally ask her how she got the disc in she says she just slid it in. She got it in there alright. Inside the case laying on the top of the actual drive. *face palm*

 

[BurnItDwn]

Been there done that, I am happy to be out of that line of work. It's often fun, but sometimes it can be VERY draining.

 

[Cabages]

I hate people like this. Funny as hell afterward, but I dont want to make them feel stupid.

People wanting tech support and replacements a year after they bought it just because they bought it there.

 

[Juno]

i was calling t-mobile how to get rid of voicemails on my sidekick. the rep said, "oh, don't bother checking them out."

wtf, how is that going to help me?

 

[Brovane]

I have a couple of good ones that I can think of the top of my head. A couple of years ago back when I was still on Desktop support a user reported that her CD-ROM wouldn't close. I went down and the CD-ROM wouldn't close. I looked at the CD-ROM closely and somebody had jammed a floppy in the CD-ROM so it had then gotten itself jammed behind the CD-ROM tray inside the CD-ROM. I asked the user how a floppy got in her CD-ROM and she just shrugged.

The VP of HR called saying her inkjet printer wasn't working. I went down right away only to find that when she replaced the ink cartridge she had left the plastic on over the noozles so no ink was making its way onto the paper.

Next one was about a year ago after I transfered over the to LAN team. A piece of vendor equipment that is multi-homed would mysteriously lose network access and then come backup random ally. We don't have access to box but the vendor kept insisting that our network was the issue. Looking over our monitoring gear I knew this wasn't the case. I finally got there tech support on the phone and asked the lady to send me the routes in the machine. I then had to explain to her how to go to a command line in Windows and run Route Print. These are the same people telling me my network gear is messed up. Well just as I suspected there was two default routes in the route table on the machine. I then had to explain to her on the phone how to fix there gear and haven't had a issue since then.

 

[geno]

Originally posted by: 40Hands
So when I finally ask her how she got the disc in she says she just slid it in. She got it in there alright. Inside the case laying on the top of the actual drive.

Slick

 

[JakwoW]

Originally posted by: BurnItDwn
Been there done that, I am happy to be out of that line of work. It's often fun, but sometimes it can be VERY draining.

x2. I don't miss it at all.

 

[antyler]

This thread rocks. haha there are some hilarious stories in here.

 

[AmpedSilence]

Originally posted by: Brovane
I have a couple of good ones that I can think of the top of my head. A couple of years ago back when I was still on Desktop support a user reported that her CD-ROM wouldn't close. I went down and the CD-ROM wouldn't close. I looked at the CD-ROM closely and somebody had jammed a floppy in the CD-ROM so it had then gotten itself jammed behind the CD-ROM tray inside the CD-ROM. I asked the user how a floppy got in her CD-ROM and she just shrugged.

How the hell do you do that? They aren't even the same shape!

The VP of HR called saying her inkjet printer wasn't working. I went down right away only to find that when she replaced the ink cartridge she had left the plastic on over the noozles so no ink was making its way onto the paper.

Sadly, thats too common and not that funny of a story anymore.

 

[PlatinumGold]

it's not just the stupidity that really annoys me, it's people who seem to think that "i'm not really smart about technical things" is a weapon.


since, when in this country did stupidity become a virtue?

 

[misle]

I am very happy to not be doing tech support anymore. So many stupid people. I must have blocked it all out because I know I had some hilarious experiences, but I cannot remember them now.

 

[Arkitech]

The worst case I had was dealing with a admin assistant who had bipolar issues. Apparently she would not take her meds at times and generally cause havoc. Anyway I get a ticket that a user can't access any of her applications, so I go down to see this lady and ask her to show me the problem. Sure enough none of the apps will load, after poking around I discover she deleted half of directories under program files. She claimed she was cleaning up her PC. It was really bizarre, eventually she left the company on extended medical leave.

 

[XZeroII]

Originally posted by: AmpedSilence

Originally posted by: Brovane
I have a couple of good ones that I can think of the top of my head. A couple of years ago back when I was still on Desktop support a user reported that her CD-ROM wouldn't close. I went down and the CD-ROM wouldn't close. I looked at the CD-ROM closely and somebody had jammed a floppy in the CD-ROM so it had then gotten itself jammed behind the CD-ROM tray inside the CD-ROM. I asked the user how a floppy got in her CD-ROM and she just shrugged.

How the hell do you do that? They aren't even the same shape!

You just know that those are the types of people who, when children, repeatedly tried forcing the cube into the circle hole.

 

[bonkers325]

this isnt a customer story - a salesperson was in our office trying to peddle some product. she offers to demo the product for us and asks to use a computer. we walk over to the computer where she blankly asks, "internet?". i reply, "yea sure, it's got internet" and she starts to click around. she then says "i cant find internet explorer", so i point to firefox. then she says "oh you have firefox, so this is a mac!". needless to say, i wasnt very impressed with the demo

 

[2Xtreme21]

Ever notice how some customers hate to be proven wrong / told it's their fault? Granted, you don't come right out and say it, but I don't know how many times I go help a customer with "my printer doesn't work" and it being that they're selecting to print to the wrong printer. THEN, when you set it to print to their printer, (if not to just make it seem like it's not completely their fault that they set the destination to the printer on the other side of the office) they make you stand there and "make sure everything's ok." It's like, buddy, I have other stuff to do-- you're fine.

 

[MustangSVT]

its true but how many times have we called the ISP for issues with bad connection or no connection and they tell you to delete cookies or even format hdd? sigh.. idiots.

I usually skip the first tier idiots