OMFG

[TehMac]

Ok, so I'm sure many of us are familiar with this guy who makes game to movies with the skill of a back alley abortionist, so he's caused a lot of frustration with fans of games who see the story (although games aren't really known for their stories) twisted and botched by the shittiness of Uwe Boll's directing skills.

So, presented is Uwe Boll's comedy...err...LotR rip off?...


In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale


(Too long a name!!!!)


Watch the trailer:
For one thing, I'm pretty sure the audience got it the first time when he said they were attacked by Krug
"we were attacked by Krug, savage army--Krug."

WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

"Tell me how much you love me."
"You know."

:roll:

"Life has never looked so exciting!"
Did you design that whole screenplay so it fits into your comedy that is a trailer, Uwe?

Nice overacting, on all accounts.

And some of the scenes looked ripped out of Lord of the Rings only with a couple of people chopped out.

Why doesn't someone shoot Uwe already?

 

[Slick5150]

Actually. Its supposed to be his best movie. Of course its still supposed to be beyond awful, but his best movie none the less.

 

[TehMac]

Yeah, as he says, "Each of my movies are ten times better than the last."

Sorry Uwe, 10 x 0 is still 0.

 

[RapidSnail]

Looks aweful.

 

[RapidSnail]

Originally posted by: TehMac
Yeah, as he says, "Each of my movies are ten times better than the last."

Sorry Uwe, 10 x 0 is still 0.

:laugh:

Good one.

 

[pontifex]

R

 

[TestedAcorn]

I think it sounds so stupid because they speak normal perfect english, they have no accents. It also just looks really cheesy.

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

It would probably be better if they took the original storyline. Farmer gets attacked by Krug, turns into hero, saves world.

 

[HombrePequeno]

How did Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Claire Forliani, Ron Perlman, Burt Reynolds and Leelee Sobieski get duped into being in that movie? Were their managers on drugs?

 

[BrokenVisage]

Originally posted by: HombrePequeno
How did Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Claire Forliani, Ron Perlman, Burt Reynolds and Leelee Sobieski get duped into being in that movie? Were their managers on drugs?

I'll take 'Acting Personalities Who Currently Need Work' for $200.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: TestedAcorn
I think it sounds so stupid because they speak normal perfect english, they have no accents. It also just looks really cheesy.

why do they need accents? its in a fictional world, not medieval england isn't it?
just watched the trailer. the whole kung fu in a western medieval world setting just does NOT work, lol.

 

[zinfamous]

poor Ray Liota...what was he thinking?


the costumes look they were purchased at Big Lots. the production value on this = poop.

 

[Noobtastic]

LOOKS HILARIOUS!

I wanted to see Postal but it wasn't released around here...: (

My mancrush on Jason Statham compels me to see this flick, though I probably won't pay for it. Movie hopping FTW!

 

[TehMac]

Yeah, most people who will see this movie will purchase a ticket for some place else, and then watch this movie, haha.

 

[Bateluer]

Originally posted by: HombrePequeno
How did Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Claire Forliani, Ron Perlman, Burt Reynolds and Leelee Sobieski get duped into being in that movie? Were their managers on drugs?

Some times I wonder if managers/actors never read up on the director/producer of a film before they sign on. Seems like it would be a smart thing to do.

Fortunately, I don't think the dismal movie will hurt their careers much. Unlike Batman and Robin, Bol's movies aren't exactly summer blockbuster releases.

 

[TehMac]

Well, I mean...John Rhys Davies...WTF???


Does he just enjoy getting up in armor no matter how retarded the movie is?

 

[DangerAardvark]

Originally posted by: HombrePequeno
How did Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Claire Forliani, Ron Perlman, Burt Reynolds and Leelee Sobieski get duped into being in that movie? Were their managers on drugs?

Leelee Sobieski actually put Wickerman slightly above the mandatory suicide threshold. God she's sexy. *runs off to do a Google image search*

 

[TheWart]

The most alarming thing is the "...A Dungeon Siege Tale"

Why? Cause the "A" indicates that there are probably going to be sequels. I still cannot fathom why people fund this guy's work anymore...

 

[Noobtastic]

Originally posted by: TheWart
The most alarming thing is the "...A Dungeon Siege Tale"

Why? Cause the "A" indicates that there are probably going to be sequels. I still cannot fathom why people fund this guy's work anymore...

He funds it himself, in combination with the very charitable state-sanctioned German film commission...

 

[DangerAardvark]

Originally posted by: Noobtastic

Originally posted by: TheWart
The most alarming thing is the "...A Dungeon Siege Tale"

Why? Cause the "A" indicates that there are probably going to be sequels. I still cannot fathom why people fund this guy's work anymore...

He funds it himself, in combination with the very charitable state-sanctioned German film commission...

Well that decides it. We must once more go to war with Germany.

 

[xSkyDrAx]

Considering how awful the game was, this movie is destined for failboat.

 

[TehMac]

Hey now, Dungeon Siege was really cool, I remember playing that, and I thought, "Hey this is really cool" it changed the button mashing around that's for sure (although not by much).
I always wanted to get DS2, but didn't have enough money.

 

[Saint Michael]

Heh, I love how Ray Liotta kept his haircut from Goodfellas and Jason Statham is doing flying kungfu kicks, yet this is supposed to be set in some sort of medieval era.

 

[TehMac]

Yeah, the kicks...uhmm...wtf?

 

[TehMac]

Well, the movie has gotten a 5% average on rotten tomatoes.
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/..._a_dungeon_siege_tale/

"Jason Statham is the imaginatively named main character, Farmer. When his son is killed by some monsters who are clearly guys in rubber suits, Farmer vows revenge against the evil wizard Gallian (Ray Liotta). Add in Burt Reynolds as a king (check out that toupee?), Ron Perlman as the faithful sidekick, Matthew Lillard as a sneaky nephew with eyes on the throne, and countless fight sequences of varying quality and you?ve got a film?or something. "

"Liotta looks like the gay love child born of a tryst between Elvis and Liberace."