Originally posted by: DurocShark
LoL!
Pimple Farmers != good marriage advice.
The events happened years ago. We're past that. I stuck through them and am (mostly) glad I did.
Things are improving today now that she's in the "groove" of getting the house packed. She just needed to focus and get really involved. I actually got to take some time to read a book to my daughter.
Cheers for patronising me.
Here's where my opinion stems:
My ex's father divorced at 35 having gotten married at the age of 22. He's now 55 and speaking to him, he found the only marriages he has seen work over the years are those where the partners married 'late'.
Another example: my colleague is hitting 30 this year and signed his final divorce papers two months ago. He was married at 21. Guess what is biggest regret in life has been so far?
Further, I have been in a few long-term relationships and have noticed the huge changes that occur in between the first 6 months of a relationship and what things are like ~2 years later. It's very easy to get used to being with another person and to settle into the security of having a partner, but there's often an underlying desire to be elsewhere. Being quite cynical, I feel that this is very common although the time taken for a relationship's quality to wane may be different, eg Hollywood marriages : fast, highschool sweethearts : slow.
My main concern with getting married so young is that you
are still young and have not yet experienced enough to be completely satisfied and ready to settle down for the rest of your life. It's within all male's primitive nature to copulate with as many different females as possible; it's genetic and it's how we got here in the first place. Being attracted to someone and being able to have regular sex does satisfy this urge temporarily. However, it does not satisfy the need to mate with
different women: "spreading the seed" as it were. Of course, many will be able to consciously or otherwise suppress the urge, but this is unhealthy and many cannot maintain the suppression (check the divorce figures). Speaking on a physiological level, for most men testosterone levels are at a maximum in between the age of ~17 to ~30/35. This is where the desire to be with a woman will be highest and the temptation can be to secure the satisfaction of this desire with a written contract. For this reason I choose not to marry ever, or at least until I am ~30 years of age or more.
As for being 'past' the whole cheating thing. Well this simply tells me that your wife not only felt these urges but succumbed to them (obviously women get these urges also). Perhaps she is now satisfied for life and will never do it again. I tend not to show much faith in the human race, however and unfortunately do not hold high hopes for you marriage in the long term, especially when you declare to the world how you sometimes hate your wife in a public forum.
YMMV, however. Good luck.