OMFG Sometimes I hate my wife

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Aug 26, 2004
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Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: Queasy

Errrr....no it doesn't. It indicates a couple that talks with each other about damn near everything and let's each other know that shenanigans will not be tolerated.

Your statement made about as much sense as the time someone told us that the only reason we went out of town and on mini-vacations so much was because we were insecure in our relationship. Uhhh, no. We liked to go out and have fun.

It's exactly that. Insecurity and redundancy. It's akin to promising to marry each other 'one day'.

Going out and having fun apart should always happen...there should never be a question of 'are you planning on cheating?'

If it even needs to be said, unless totally coming from an open relationship then it smacks of 'I don't think we are really going to last'.

bah...the subject came up for us when one of my friends got caught cheating...
 

loic2003

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2003
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Thanks to the cynical people of anandtech and the fact that a couple of people I know are going through divorces, I've recently decided to never get married. It'll have to be some pretty amazing woman to change my mind.

Oh, and DurocShark... I hate to say it, but you married waay too young. I don't think it'll last "till death do you part" unless you help the lady on her way. The fact that she's cheated on you *several times* to me sounds alarm bells....

Good luck buddy.

 

DurocShark

Lifer
Apr 18, 2001
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LoL!

Pimple Farmers != good marriage advice. ;)

The events happened years ago. We're past that. I stuck through them and am (mostly) glad I did.

Things are improving today now that she's in the "groove" of getting the house packed. She just needed to focus and get really involved. I actually got to take some time to read a book to my daughter. :D
 

KK

Lifer
Jan 2, 2001
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Originally posted by: loic2003
Thanks to the cynical people of anandtech and the fact that a couple of people I know are going through divorces, I've recently decided to never get married. It'll have to be some pretty amazing woman to change my mind.

Famous last words. I think every married guy has said that atleast once. :)
 

Queasy

Moderator<br>Console Gaming
Aug 24, 2001
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Originally posted by: quakefiend420
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: Queasy

Errrr....no it doesn't. It indicates a couple that talks with each other about damn near everything and let's each other know that shenanigans will not be tolerated.

Your statement made about as much sense as the time someone told us that the only reason we went out of town and on mini-vacations so much was because we were insecure in our relationship. Uhhh, no. We liked to go out and have fun.

It's exactly that. Insecurity and redundancy. It's akin to promising to marry each other 'one day'.

Going out and having fun apart should always happen...there should never be a question of 'are you planning on cheating?'

If it even needs to be said, unless totally coming from an open relationship then it smacks of 'I don't think we are really going to last'.

bah...the subject came up for us when one of my friends got caught cheating...

Same here. We were merely discussing about how we felt about being cheated on (we were still dating at the time). We had both been cheated on before and weren't willing to go through the same thing again.
 

Queasy

Moderator<br>Console Gaming
Aug 24, 2001
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Originally posted by: KK
Originally posted by: loic2003
Thanks to the cynical people of anandtech and the fact that a couple of people I know are going through divorces, I've recently decided to never get married. It'll have to be some pretty amazing woman to change my mind.

Famous last words. I think every married guy has said that atleast once. :)

Just remember these words. "Marriage may not be forever but CHSUP is at least 18 years."
 

trmiv

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
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LOL, if my wife started picking fights with me over an issue like you posted on the first page, and I got pissed at her, she'd eventually turn it around on me so that she's the one mad at me for something she did. (I know, doesn't make a whole ton of sense, unless you're married!)

But man, bad sitaution all around. Even though you say things are "working out" now, what's to to stop her from cheating on you again? You only have one course of action. Cheat on her.
 

loic2003

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2003
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Originally posted by: DurocShark
LoL!

Pimple Farmers != good marriage advice. ;)

The events happened years ago. We're past that. I stuck through them and am (mostly) glad I did.

Things are improving today now that she's in the "groove" of getting the house packed. She just needed to focus and get really involved. I actually got to take some time to read a book to my daughter. :D


Cheers for patronising me.

Here's where my opinion stems:
My ex's father divorced at 35 having gotten married at the age of 22. He's now 55 and speaking to him, he found the only marriages he has seen work over the years are those where the partners married 'late'.

Another example: my colleague is hitting 30 this year and signed his final divorce papers two months ago. He was married at 21. Guess what is biggest regret in life has been so far?

Further, I have been in a few long-term relationships and have noticed the huge changes that occur in between the first 6 months of a relationship and what things are like ~2 years later. It's very easy to get used to being with another person and to settle into the security of having a partner, but there's often an underlying desire to be elsewhere. Being quite cynical, I feel that this is very common although the time taken for a relationship's quality to wane may be different, eg Hollywood marriages : fast, highschool sweethearts : slow.

My main concern with getting married so young is that you are still young and have not yet experienced enough to be completely satisfied and ready to settle down for the rest of your life. It's within all male's primitive nature to copulate with as many different females as possible; it's genetic and it's how we got here in the first place. Being attracted to someone and being able to have regular sex does satisfy this urge temporarily. However, it does not satisfy the need to mate with different women: "spreading the seed" as it were. Of course, many will be able to consciously or otherwise suppress the urge, but this is unhealthy and many cannot maintain the suppression (check the divorce figures). Speaking on a physiological level, for most men testosterone levels are at a maximum in between the age of ~17 to ~30/35. This is where the desire to be with a woman will be highest and the temptation can be to secure the satisfaction of this desire with a written contract. For this reason I choose not to marry ever, or at least until I am ~30 years of age or more.

As for being 'past' the whole cheating thing. Well this simply tells me that your wife not only felt these urges but succumbed to them (obviously women get these urges also). Perhaps she is now satisfied for life and will never do it again. I tend not to show much faith in the human race, however and unfortunately do not hold high hopes for you marriage in the long term, especially when you declare to the world how you sometimes hate your wife in a public forum.

YMMV, however. Good luck.
 

DurocShark

Lifer
Apr 18, 2001
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Originally posted by: loic2003

Cheers for patronising me.

Wasn't you in particular. It was the vareity of "Divorce" comments from <cough>men<cough> who've never seen a woman outside of babezxxx.com.

Originally posted by: loic2003
I tend not to show much faith in the human race, however and unfortunately do not hold high hopes for you marriage in the long term, especially when you declare to the world how you sometimes hate your wife in a public forum.

Sometimes I hate my boss too. And sometimes I hate myself. Maybe I'm in for a divorce with myself?

Look, this was a rant. Venting off steam. Some folks took it way too seriously. That's ok. I have no plans to leave my wife. If I did I sure as hell wouldn't be moving 1000 miles away with her.
 

trmiv

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
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Originally posted by: DurocShark
Originally posted by: loic2003

Cheers for patronising me.

Wasn't you in particular. It was the vareity of "Divorce" comments from <cough>men<cough> who've never seen a woman outside of babezxxx.com.

I've seen plenty of women outside of babezxxx.com and I'm married. I still say drop the cheater like a bad habit, does my opinion count?
 

loic2003

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2003
3,844
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Originally posted by: DurocShark
Originally posted by: loic2003

Cheers for patronising me.

Wasn't you in particular. It was the vareity of "Divorce" comments from <cough>men<cough> who've never seen a woman outside of babezxxx.com.

Originally posted by: loic2003
I tend not to show much faith in the human race, however and unfortunately do not hold high hopes for you marriage in the long term, especially when you declare to the world how you sometimes hate your wife in a public forum.

Sometimes I hate my boss too. And sometimes I hate myself. Maybe I'm in for a divorce with myself?

Look, this was a rant. Venting off steam. Some folks took it way too seriously. That's ok. I have no plans to leave my wife. If I did I sure as hell wouldn't be moving 1000 miles away with her.

Fair enough, I hope you're sufficiently vented. Take care.
 

Ulfwald

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
May 27, 2000
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Tell her to grow the fvck up. Her home is with you, and where ever that is, she should support you.

change is a part of life, and if she is not mature enought to handle it, then give her a bottle and a blankie and let her sit in the corner and pout while the adults get everything done.
 

Buck Armstrong

Platinum Member
Dec 17, 2004
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Originally posted by: DurocShark
Originally posted by: KingPhil
What are you on ATOT if you are supposed to be packing? heheeh :)

Cig breaks. :D

Yes, she cheated several times over the years. Those are the worse issues.

I'm still moving. Can't back out now...

Cute kid you have there.

I initially just figured she was freaked out about the move and was taking it out on you (women do that), but then you say she's cheated several times? Wow. I have a young daughter myself, and I realize that must complicate things beyond belief (moving to another state but leaving your kid, divorcing the ball & chain and losing your child and half your sh*t in the process, etc.)

But if she's a cheater, it most likely will never get better, and she may eventually leave you anyway. So if you're going to make your move, nows the time. Sorry to hear about your problems though, I can only imagine how I would feel in the same situation.
 

Buck Armstrong

Platinum Member
Dec 17, 2004
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Originally posted by: alkemyst
Yeah, my wife and I already have an understanding that if one of us cheats on the other it is over.

so do me and my gf
[/quote]

For this to come up indicates insecurity already.

I would look at cheating as the least threat in an adult relationship.

[/quote]

Meaning your wife/GF cheats on you all the time, and you're trying to rationalize about why its not that big of a deal?

 

Nitemare

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
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Maybe her lover does not want to move to Colorado...

Where is the consideration for the Misters?
 

DurocShark

Lifer
Apr 18, 2001
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LOL at some of the awesome comments!

Yes, she has cheated. Not in many years though so far as I know. And she's too dumb to figure out how to be sneaky about it. :p Besides, our son is 13. He'd know and tell me instantly. They're both home all day... ;)

I never said cheating wasn't a big deal. It broke us up each time. But other considerations came into play for both of us. The last time I filed for divorce. I was done with it. She realized that I was serious and gone for good. She spent nearly a year convincing me she's learned her lesson. She also knows she will ALWAYS be on probation and I will leave the instant I suspect that sh!t is happening again.

All-in-all things are good. Just a wife who's turning into her mom with an added dash of psycho-b!tch. Still dealing with that part... :Q

 

edmundoab

Diamond Member
Apr 21, 2003
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www.facebook.com
marriage is a gamble.
sometimes it turns out beatiful, sometimes decent.. and sometimes horrible

i would rate my parents as decents since they had quarelling days too

but if it took you many considerations to get married..
it should take more to think about divorce

whatever is it. I hope you sort things out with your wife.
 

Ulfwald

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
May 27, 2000
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If women would concentrate on the reasons they are on this earth, then 75% of the world's problems would be solved. Reasons they are here: KITCHEN AND THE BED ROOM!