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Okay . . . I'm about ready to blow a gasket - am I right to be FURIOUS?

XMan

XMan

Lifer
I found out that a female friend of mine has begun talking to my sister on MSN Messenger. No big deal, right? Except this female friend of mine has been having very frank sexual discussions with my 13-year old sister, including how to give oral sex.

She says . . .

"Absolutely.....when I was in chicago we did this IN the school with 14 year olds we showed them how to put comdoms on little woodies, told them how to do things etc. believe it or not, not everyone shares your opinion."

I could KILL her! :|
 
I think it's natural that you're pissed but your little sister is obviously curious and it's best she finds out all this stuff in theory then by trial and error right? As long as that friend was giving a balanced discussion - i.e. telling her the facts about sex and also the amount of emotional baggage that goes along with it, which usually evades a 13 year old mind. I think it's a little shady for your friend to be doing this behind your back though. But maybe your sister swore her to secrecy...

-GL
 
GL - yeah, sure, maybe. But don't you think this is the kind of stuff that a mother and daughter need to talk about? My dad gave me "the talk" when I was around 11 or so; I don't know whether my mom has given it to my sister or not.

Is this stuff my sister needs to know? Yes, but it's not my friends place to be telling it to her. (She's 21.)
 
Valhalla - I only found out about it because the friend told me. My sister leaves 2,000 miles away from me. I am insulted by your insinuation.
 
Xerox,

Us guys are different. The teenage years pit daughter against mother - wait until the cat fights start. I didn't know any teenage girl that really confided in her mother to talk about this stuff. I dunno...girls are weird that way.

-GL
 
fine, be insulted all you like. I don't give 2 sh!ts, I'm trying to help you here.

you don't mention anywhere how you got to know this information.. only that over MSN messenger your sister got messages, and you even quoted one verbatim..

I think anyone with half a brain cell would deduce you were reading her messages.
 
As far as needing to know? If you're sister is asking about this, then I don't see a problem...ignorance isn't bliss when it comes to sex. Now, if your sister is just getting this information shoved down her throat without invitation, there's something definitely wrong with your friend's actions.

-GL
 
Valhalla,

The message I quoted was one my friend sent to me after she told me, when I asked if she had sh!t for brains or what.
 


<< Valhalla,

The message I quoted was one my friend sent to me after she told me, when I asked if she had sh!t for brains or what.

>>





thats nice.. how were we supposed to know that? someone says &quot;my sister is getting sex messages on MSN&quot; and quotes one, obviously they would think you read it..
 
Xerox,

Did your friend tell her anything about the consequences of sex...not just the no-brainers like pregnancy and disease. But the emotional consequences? I think I can safely say that 99.9% of all 13 year olds are emotionally incapable of dealing with the emotional aspects of sex. Hell, that percentage doesn't drop much with age either...20 year olds have a hard enough time with it.

I think I would be pissed if she was just discussing the physical side of things. I mean, ultimately it's your sister making the decisions in her life, but just telling her the physical side of things is less than half the story and it forms a shaky basis that lead to very poor decisions.

-GL
 
i have a 13 year old daughter , and if i found out someone was telling her crap like that , it would not be a pleasent experience for the fool. in other words , yes , i believe your feelings are justified.
 
I still think it is not up to you to be furious or to say anything to your friend. TELL YOUR PARENTS - they are responsible for your sister and will (should) take any necessary action.

Your parents NEED to know. (And if they do know, what do they say?)
 
I am debating whether or not to call my mom right now. It's 1:43 am there, and I'm not sure if she has to work in the morning.
 
If Xerox tells his parents it'll seem to his little sister like everybody is ganging up on her. That's not a good thing especially for a teenage girl...you'll have to trust me on this as my sister was a handful when she was a teenager.

Asking questions is an innocent behaviour. I don't see why Xerox's little sister should have the entire family come down on her because she has some questions about sex.

Xerox, if you're on good enough terms with your little sister talk to her yourself...let her know everything she says is just between you and her, and for goodness sakes, correct any of the mistakes and fill in any of the blanks that your friend might have created.

-GL
 
I'm thinking you're right, GL. I am just unsure how to approach my sister other than to say, &quot;Nikki? I had a talk with Rachel last night . . .&quot;.

Man, I changed her diapers. The thought of her doing stuff freaks me out. 🙁
 
No way, GL.

Xerox Man is not his sister's guardian. His mom (and dad) is. They have a right to know that some outsider is interferring in their family's business and their daughter's education. Since Xerox Man has got this information it is only right it be passed on to his parents.

Then THEY decide what to do regarding their daughter.

I might not wake my mother up for this, but I would certainly call first thing in the morning.

EDIT: The parents should be wise enough to &quot;not come down on their daughter&quot;. However, there is a certain issue that needs to be addressed - was it just answers to innocent questions; or was the &quot;friend&quot; trying to preach her (lack of) morals to a young impressionable girl. The parents need to know that a problem exists and remedy any defects in their education program of their daughter.
 
Well, I'd say if the parents haven't had the &quot;talk&quot; with her by this time it's kind of late. But maybe Xerox should jumpstart this thing and see if he can get his mom to talk to his sister and salvage whatever communication is possible. But going to your parents pretty much depends on how they'll react and you know this better than anybody on this board.

If your parents will blow up over this, what message are you sending to his sister if you put her on the defensive for acting responsibily and asking questions about sex instead of learning sex firsthand. Not only was her behaviour innocent, but it was responsible in my opinion. She didn't ask a fellow 13 year old...she obviously felt this 21 year old knew her stuff and she felt comfortable discussing sex with her. Hell, that's more than I was able to do at 13. The only discussions of sex I had at that age were between fellow 13 year olds and it involved a lot of misconceptions, myths and just false information.

I don't like it when others preach morals to others' children. If that's the case, then Xerox should probably let his mom know as apoppin pointed out. But if his friend was just answering Xerox's sisters questions objectively, then I'd say it's best to keep this discussion quiet.

If you want to approach your sister Xerox and just keep this between you and her, just tell her the truth about how you found out. And tell her as a brother your job isn't to tell her how to run her life but you're there to listen and to lend your elderly experience and knowledge. And suggest to your sister that she try and talk to your mom although that'll probably be a futile effort.

-GL
 
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