OK, I watched the Anna Nicole Show. Kill me now

BillDKiller

Member
Jun 24, 2002
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I was weak, and I just couldn't help myself. I had (like all the rest of you) heard how bad it was. But I couldn't believe that the network gurus would put something that bad on the air. Boy was I wrong. At the risk of spoiling your rerun fun here's a summary (I didn't/couldn't watch the entire show):

Anna (AKA goldiggerasaurus Rex) goes to a tatoo parlour with her extremely uncharismatic sister. Her sister gets "Anna Nicole" tattooed on her arm because "of all the things she has done for me and because she is a great person and role model" (!?). Anna then pushes her into getting her tongue pierced. It went really well with the purple hair and blank look on her face. Anna then gets one of her tattooes worked on/expanded. I must admit she has nice skin, there is just way too much of it for my taste.

Anna's personal assistant and obviously gay interior decorator (there's a stereotype for you) arrange furniture in Anna's new house. The decorator gets browbeaten for not ordering a box spring because "the bedspread now sags and hangs poorly on the bed". The personal assistant (who for some reason is carrying a dog around like a 90 year old woman) notifies him that 2 weeks is much too long to get a box spring, and it needs to be sooner. The decorator was pretty funny. At least the bedroom was fashionably decorated in the latest leopard skin and red velvet.

Anna goes into a diatribe about how mad she is with her assistant, and refuses to let him hug her. She then let's us all know that she is not really mad, but is pretending to keep him on his toes. I'm sure all five of us viewers were very relieved.

Well, I now feel, after watching this, that I have lost at least a few billion brain cells. They basically ran screaming away from me in the first few seconds of the show, never to return. Speaking of brain cells, if Anna's slurring of words and incoherent sentences are any indication, she is losing brain cells at an alarming rate. I remember seeing her on Letterman about 60 pounds ago and she at least seemed lucid.

Well, hope I didn't spoil anything for anyone.
 

PsychoAndy

Lifer
Dec 31, 2000
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Just hand baffled2 a shotgun and some tequila. She'd be happy to handle that for all of us here at ATOT. :p

-PAB
 

NeoV

Diamond Member
Apr 18, 2000
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I recall seeing her for the first time in the guess jeans adds, and she was about the hottest chick I ever saw....so far away now..

I believe she is heavily medicated...at times she seems someone coherent, and at other times, she can hardly talk..

In any case, this is the worst show of all time.
 

diskop

Golden Member
Jul 14, 2001
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Originally posted by: NeoV
I recall seeing her for the first time in the guess jeans adds, and she was about the hottest chick I ever saw....so far away now..

I believe she is heavily medicated...at times she seems someone coherent, and at other times, she can hardly talk..

In any case, this is the worst show of all time.

Man that was a long time ago. So ugly now.
 

BillDKiller

Member
Jun 24, 2002
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The really sad thing is she still looks/acts as if she is the hottest chick on the planet. I guess her ass kissers when she was beautiful have been replaced. Now they just kiss her ass because she is rich. She can't tell the difference.
 

Ranger X

Lifer
Mar 18, 2000
11,218
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There's nothing worse than an annoying 225lb gargantuous whale discussing her desires to masturbate! :Q
 

diskop

Golden Member
Jul 14, 2001
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Originally posted by: Ranger X
There's nothing worse than an annoying 225lb gargantuous whale discussing her desires to masturbate! :Q

Sure cuts down on my desire.
 

Mustangrrl

Golden Member
Oct 10, 1999
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Originally posted by: Ranger X
There's nothing worse than an annoying 225lb gargantuous whale discussing her desires to masturbate! :Q
Oh no doubt! Oh man, I felt the bile rising when she was talking about that! She's just so icky... and I never thought she was that hot, she's always had a big, manly face.
~robyn

 

Sepen

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
3,189
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Originally posted by: Ranger X
There's nothing worse than an annoying 225lb gargantuous whale discussing her desires to masturbate! :Q


You think that is all she weighs? I don't know, she is really big. She must have a 40"+ waist, and that butt must weigh a hundred lbs alone. I would guess around 255.
 

T2T III

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
12,899
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It's not only the fact that it's a bad show, but E! advertises it all week long. For example, during the Howard Stern show, they continously have pop-ups appearing on the bottom of the screen advertising the show. C'mon E! - what were you thinking?
 

propellerhead

Golden Member
Apr 25, 2001
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I saw part of the show too. It was stupid. She had that drunk Pauly Shore tone of voice. And damn she's huge!
 

ElFenix

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Mar 20, 2000
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i'm glad i haven't taken the time out of my day to even watch a commercial for this.
 

JamesM3M5

Senior member
Jul 2, 2002
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I agree with BillDKiller--this show sucks beyond mere words. My wife made me watch it wth her.

That guy is her lawyer and "best friend", and the purple-haired girl (butt ugly) is her assistant.

That interior designer was f**king stupid--mattress and no box-spring? What kind of furniture store sells mattresses but no box-springs?!?!? He had enough lip gloss on to s*ck-off the entire gay-porn industry.
 

NutBucket

Lifer
Aug 30, 2000
27,033
545
126
Originally posted by: wje
It's not only the fact that it's a bad show, but E! advertises it all week long. For example, during the Howard Stern show, they continously have pop-ups appearing on the bottom of the screen advertising the show. C'mon E! - what were you thinking?

Howard's been ranting about this for weeks now. It's stupid. Why would E! screw up its highest rated show like that? I'm getting a little more annoyed everytime I turn on Howard.

Now, if they removed the pixelations I could live with the scrolls and pop-ups;)
 

MichaelD

Lifer
Jan 16, 2001
31,529
3
76
I'd love to grease her up, strap myself in with a seatbelt and ride that porker, just once. She used to be sooooo fine...and she does have mammies to die for....bleach-blond-bimbo-slut-pig look...I'd hit it once. :D
 

rh71

No Lifer
Aug 28, 2001
52,853
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Even though you may have lost a few billion brain cells after watching the show, you still sound like one of the more educated members here. You should post more.
 

Hammer

Lifer
Oct 19, 2001
13,217
1
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eww

Originally posted by: MichaelD
I'd love to grease her up, strap myself in with a seatbelt and ride that porker, just once. She used to be sooooo fine...and she does have mammies to die for....bleach-blond-bimbo-slut-pig look...I'd hit it once. :D