The letter is dated Oct 27th, 2011. How old can it be?
I was thinking of sending an email along the lines of:
"Hello. I was recently excommunicated from the Seventh Sign Satanist of His Unholy Magesty Chruch. I don't agree with their decision to excommunicate me because all I did was show up for services on Sunday (church on Sunday is a big no-no evidently. They need to clarify their Satanic bible...the instructions aren't clear at all!).
Anyway, a friend of mine recently received a letting stating she was excommunicated from your church. After reading the letter, it is stated that she is now a Satanist. Therefore, logically, since I was kicked out of S.S.S.o.H.U.M.C (I think they also kicked me out because I tried to start a petition to have the name shortened to "Satan School"), I must now be a Christian.
Therefore, I was wondering if you could "communicate" me into your fine establishment. I would also need a schedule of activities. The only thing is I have to work late on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I hope you don't have your goat sacrifices on either of those days (that ceremony used to drag on FOREVER at my old church).
Thank You
Dave Johnson
Facebook
Twitter