So sorry to hear about your problems. This is a hard one.
First, documentation and recordkeeping is a must. What do you have in long-term documentation for her condition? Has she generally been a good parent, or do you have evidence of her laxity (getting the kid to school on time, dealing with school; medical appointments and the kid taking his medication properly, and so on)?
Schools and doctors can be your best friends. Schools keep a lot of records, and are legally required to share them with you. Has your kid had school issues? Is she good at dealing with the school? Has your kid been in therapy? You can't use any of the medical therapist records, but the therapist can give an official opinion, which carries a lot of weight.
Have you been paying for a lot of stuff? Once again, doctors, therapy, specialists, tutoring, sports, and so on. Do you have documentation?
Can you get witnesses to swear that she is loco? This is not fun, but it can be done. Good reliable witnesses, like teachers, religious figures, her boss, etc. Her not having a job is a good thing for you - can you get any kind of hard evidence as to why she doesn't have a job? Was she fired? Is there medical evidence that she's unstable? Gotta be documented and even better, witnessed and testified by experts.
The birth-certificate thing is WONDERFUL. If you could possibly get her to document that she won't let your name on the birth certificate it will go a long way towards convincing the court that she is unfit to care for the child. Trickery is necessary here, she'll never do it if you say you want it. Er - do you have paternity testing that says you're the dad? From how far back?
Also, state laws vary, but can you petition the court to have your name added?
There are many lawyers. Shop around. Ask for referrals, and when you talk to a lawyer, ask about their experience and their results.
And please don't let your ex find out that you are gathering information like this - it will set off a major eruption in a control freak.
Good luck, keep posting. As you can see I have a lot of experience with this.
First, documentation and recordkeeping is a must. What do you have in long-term documentation for her condition? Has she generally been a good parent, or do you have evidence of her laxity (getting the kid to school on time, dealing with school; medical appointments and the kid taking his medication properly, and so on)?
Schools and doctors can be your best friends. Schools keep a lot of records, and are legally required to share them with you. Has your kid had school issues? Is she good at dealing with the school? Has your kid been in therapy? You can't use any of the medical therapist records, but the therapist can give an official opinion, which carries a lot of weight.
Have you been paying for a lot of stuff? Once again, doctors, therapy, specialists, tutoring, sports, and so on. Do you have documentation?
Can you get witnesses to swear that she is loco? This is not fun, but it can be done. Good reliable witnesses, like teachers, religious figures, her boss, etc. Her not having a job is a good thing for you - can you get any kind of hard evidence as to why she doesn't have a job? Was she fired? Is there medical evidence that she's unstable? Gotta be documented and even better, witnessed and testified by experts.
The birth-certificate thing is WONDERFUL. If you could possibly get her to document that she won't let your name on the birth certificate it will go a long way towards convincing the court that she is unfit to care for the child. Trickery is necessary here, she'll never do it if you say you want it. Er - do you have paternity testing that says you're the dad? From how far back?
Also, state laws vary, but can you petition the court to have your name added?
There are many lawyers. Shop around. Ask for referrals, and when you talk to a lawyer, ask about their experience and their results.
And please don't let your ex find out that you are gathering information like this - it will set off a major eruption in a control freak.
Good luck, keep posting. As you can see I have a lot of experience with this.
