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Oh man....girlfriend's parents have some serious problems...

Deeko

Deeko

Lifer
Ok....I'll try to stay on track here but I am seething in rage so I may go off on tangents so bear with me...

My girlfriend of 6 months does not live with her real parents...her dad has alot of problems and her mom went through an alcoholic depression. However, it is not them I have beef with, its her foster mom...she will be moving back with her real mom soon because she went through rehab and is fine now, but at the moment she has to deal with this....

So anyway, her 'mom' seems to find fault in everything she does, or at least in some way tries to hurt her. She yells at her about everything. Nothing she does is good enough. She talks down on everything my gf likes(when she picked out her prom dress with her real mom, she was more excited than I've ever seen her...her 'mom' proceeded to tell her that it was ugly and not worth the money). It has been bad, I hate seeing her hurt, but tonight she just crossed the line.

Tonight after I dropped her off, her mom yelled at her for a good while. She said she doesn't really love me, she only likes me because I pay attention to her, she says she sees me way too often(maybe twice during the week and once on the weekend? And I won't see her hardly at all next year because I'm going to college and she isn't yet? how is that too much?), she says she only wants to move back with her real mom to get away with things(like what? she doesn't do anything wrong to get away with), she said she is sacrificing college because her grades are slipping because of me(? her average is up from a C to a B this year...and I'm spending an hour each time I'm with her helping her study for the SAT's, how am I bringing her down grades-wise??? I'm smarter than every person at her school.....), and some other stuff that I'm too angry to remember.

What I don't get is, how her 'mom' has problems with me. I have totally turned this girl around. She used to have severe depressions, she nearly attempted suicide before, she used to drink and do drugs, she got in all sorts of trouble, and as I am the polar opposite of that I have helped her so much(she was already recovering from her problems before I was going out with her, but I'm helping her along). How can she say that I am hurting her and that she sees me too much when I have done the opposite?

I can't take much more of this....my gf is afraid to tell her how much she is hurting her because she is afraid she will get in trouble and not be allowed to see me at all anymore, and I can't just sit around while her 'mom' makes her cry time and time again for no reason...

EDIT: if in my anger I said something unintelligable and you need more explaining let me know
 
Is this a recent thing? Perhaps her foster mom is upset about losing her 'daughter' to her real mom, especially if she's been taking care of her for awhile. She may be taking out this anger on your GF for wanting to leave her.
 
As much as it might, uh, make it rocky, I would say go off on her foster mom the day she moves back into the house with her real mom. If worse comes to worse, and yer parents are cool with it, have your g/f stay at your house until she can move back with her real mom. Then go tell her off. I've always been one to respect parents and charm them to no end, but then again, no parent has ever pushed me to the edge like this one has to you. Good luck.
 
Is this a recent thing? Perhaps her foster mom is upset about losing her 'daughter' to her real mom, especially if she's been taking care of her for awhile. She may be taking out this anger on your GF for wanting to leave her.
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She has been taking care of her for like 2 years...but they never got along all that well. And she has a real daughter, a real son, a stepson, and two other foster daughters...so I don't see why she is so upset.

As much as it might, uh, make it rocky, I would say go off on her foster mom the day she moves back into the house with her real mom. If worse comes to worse, and yer parents are cool with it, have your g/f stay at your house until she can move back with her real mom. Then go tell her off. I've always been one to respect parents and charm them to no end, but then again, no parent has ever pushed me to the edge like this one has to you. Good luck.
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I am this close to going off on her right now...only thing keeping me from doing it is because she probably won't let me see her anymore of I do...I would try to rationally talk to her about it but I am very protective of my gf and would probably lose my temper...I could try talking to my parents but I doubt it will fly...but yes, I agree with you, as soon as she's back with her real mom I am laying into her like she didn't know was possible.
 
I see great jealousy in the foster mother.
Jealous of something she had, and wasted at one point. Now bitter to the point where she sees no good in positivly reenforcing youth.

Sad, but a reality. Written about for ages on end.
 
wow, that's pretty bad. it just sucks there are people like that and you feel so helpless that you can't get away.
 
ewww too long a read


my ex had phych problems b/c of her messed up parants.


i'd say stay away, but that would be ignorant.
 
Oh yea, I forgot a good one, she is looking to go into possibly nursing or something along the lines of a low-level medical position like that, her 'mom' told her she isn't smart enough, you have to be really smart to do anything medical, and that she should become a plumber, because you don't have to be smart and not alot of girls do it...yes that's right, someone who is supposed to be acting like her mom told her she isn't smart enough and to become a plumber.
 
I'm in high school and I live with my parents. I have to stay on-campus next year. Maybe, the year after that, if she goes to a college near mine, it would be possible...but not until then.
 
Originally posted by: Deeko
Oh yea, I forgot a good one, she is looking to go into possibly nursing or something along the lines of a low-level medical position like that, her 'mom' told her she isn't smart enough, you have to be really smart to do anything medical, and that she should become a plumber, because you don't have to be smart and not alot of girls do it...yes that's right, someone who is supposed to be acting like her mom told her she isn't smart enough and to become a plumber.
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The best thing you can do now is comfort her and make sure she is not being brain washed. You need to keep it cool till she moves in with her real parents. You don't want to make it any worse than it already is for for your GF.
 
Your gf should have a talk with her "mom". In your last paragraph you mentioned that she's scared to talk to her because she'll get in trouble. The mature thing to do is for her to talk to her "mom". Has she mentioned to her that she has improved since she started going out with you? Has she told her that you're helping her with the SATs? Maybe the reason why her "mom" is so angry at her is because she doesn't know the real deal.

btw, good luck. I hope things get better
 
No woman is worth that sort of crap. Just leave!

Trust me, in two years, you'll think, "Boy, GermyBoy is so great. I wish I had listened to him, because she royally screwed me."

Now don't go judging me now, our love is unconditional and will never die! It will. You can fall into love, so you can fall out of it. Now I understand you didn't mention loving her, but her "mom" mentioned her NOT loving you.

Trust me, it's not worth it. You'll thank me later.
 
I think Germy Boy is a gay loser. If she really loves you, she will endure the depths of hell (well, not quite, but close). If she pulls through, you know it's true love.
 
Originally posted by: XZeroII
I think Germy Boy is a gay loser. If she really loves you, she will endure the depths of hell (well, not quite, but close). If she pulls through, you know it's true love.
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I ain't gay, and I'm not trying to look out for her or anything. I'm trying to help him look out for #1. That way, his quality of life is better, and he might live longer. Just another example of how women lower your lifespan.
 
Originally posted by: GermyBoy
Originally posted by: XZeroII
I think Germy Boy is a gay loser. If she really loves you, she will endure the depths of hell (well, not quite, but close). If she pulls through, you know it's true love.
Click to expand...

I ain't gay, and I'm not trying to look out for her or anything. I'm trying to help him look out for #1. That way, his quality of life is better, and he might live longer. Just another example of how women lower your lifespan.
Click to expand...
Just another example of how women lower your lifespan
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as opposed to men? 😉
 
Originally posted by: XZeroII
Originally posted by: GermyBoy
Originally posted by: XZeroII
I think Germy Boy is a gay loser. If she really loves you, she will endure the depths of hell (well, not quite, but close). If she pulls through, you know it's true love.
Click to expand...

I ain't gay, and I'm not trying to look out for her or anything. I'm trying to help him look out for #1. That way, his quality of life is better, and he might live longer. Just another example of how women lower your lifespan.
Click to expand...
Just another example of how women lower your lifespan
Click to expand...
as opposed to men? 😉
Click to expand...

LOL. If men lowered your lifespan, then the Lord wouldn't have had to flood the planet. They would've died out natrually. LOL. I think you need to get off your gay fixation, mr. zero.
 
mouth this evil mom off. my grandma is sort of like that towards my mom, she's over controlling and just a flat out b!tch. my dad is the first person to ever stand up to her, when she started saying stupid crap when he picked my mom up on a date, he put her in her place and she stayed there ever since, grandma hasn't pulled any stupid crap with putting down my mom for over 25 years.

if you stand up to her, you will end as the hero 😉
 
I think I'm the only one who sees where GermyBoy is coming from. The past two relationships I've had were with girls that had sh!tty parents that brought them down, made them depressed, and generally were worthless. This in turn led to the girls being a little mentally inept. Their parents being bad people had influence on them in different ways. Overall, it was too much trouble and hassle dealing with the crappy parents and the girls who basically had no self-esteem. They were so depressed and warped from their parents, nothing I could say would help them.

Some people are like that. Both of my ex-girlfriends I mentioned above also never said anything back to their parents when sh!t went down. They pretty much let their partents run their lives despite being old enough to make their own decisions. It is a twisted world we live in, and this may be where GermyBoy is coming from. I'm not saying you should drop the relationship, but just be careful because people that have had unstable home lives can be rather unstable themselves. You just may not realize it yet.

I was with each those two ex'es for 6 months as well. Your story just sounds a lot like my situation, I felt the same as you, but in the end I realized it just wasn't worth it.
 
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