Office Space quote thread!

[Howard]

Do you like kung fu?

 

[Anubis]

Bob Slidell: Are you any relation to the pop singer?

Michael Bolton: Naw, it's just a coincidence.

Bob Slidell: Because I'll be honest with you! I love his music! I do! I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings 'When a Man Loves a Woman'.

 

[erikistired]

"PC Load Letter"? What the fsck does that mean?

 

[Shawn]

I'll set the building on fire.

 

[jtusa]

Naw man, hell no. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that.

 

[Anubis]

Lawrence: Hey Peter!

Peter: Yeah?

Lawrence: Watch out for your cornhole, bud.

Peter: Okay, Lawrence.

 

[anxi80]

Peter Gibbons: Before we go any further, all right, we have to swear to God, Allah, that nobody knows about this, all right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody.
Samir: Of course.
Michael Bolton: Agreed
Lawrence: Don't worry man. I won't tell anyone about this either.
Michael Bolton: Who the fu*k is that?
Peter Gibbons: Uh, don't worry about him. He's cool.

 

[Howard]

Hello sir. My name is Steve. I came from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack but now I'm off and trying to stay clean.

 

[erikistired]

Hey Peter man, check out channel 9, it's the breast exams.

 

[Ketteringo]

http://imdb.com/title/tt0151804/quotes

 

[Anubis]

Bob Slidell: What.. what would you say... you do here?

Tom: Look, I already told you! I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!

 

[erikistired]

If we get caught, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.

 

[Shawn]

Samir : No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Michael Bolton : Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir : You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton : There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir : Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton : No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

 

[Anubis]

Peter: We don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day... filling out useless forms... and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.

Michael: I told those fudge packers that I liked Michael Bolton's music.

Peter: Oh that is not right, Michael.

 

[erikistired]

Peter Gibbons : So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson : What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons : Yeah.
Dr. Swanson : Wow, that's messed up.

 

[ActuaryTm]

"The ratio of people to cake is too big."

 

[JSmile]

Michael: Peter, where the hell where you? You were supposed to be in Saturday, Lumbergh's gonna kill you!
Peter: Michael, I fufilled my dream of staying home and doing nothing, and it was everything I've ever wanted!

 

[Martin]

Corporate Accounts Payable Nina speaking. Just a moment.
Corporate Accounts Payable Nina speaking. Just a moment.
Corporate Accounts Payable Nina speaking. Just a moment.
Corporate Accounts Payable Nina speaking. Just a moment.
Corporate Accounts Payable Nina speaking. Just a moment.
Corporate Accounts Payable Nina speaking. Just a moment.
Corporate Accounts Payable Nina speaking. Just a moment.

 

[anxi80]

^ /me shudders

 

[Anubis]

Michael: It's pretty brilliant. What it does is every time there's a bank transaction where interest is computed, you know, thousands a day? The computer ends up with these fractions of a cent, which it usually rounds off? What this does is takes those little remainders and puts them into an account.

Peter: This sounds familiar.

Michael: Yeah, they did it in Superman 3.

Peter: Right.

Michael: Underrated movie, actually.

 

[Juice Box]

yeah, ummm, okkkkk, i think we are getting a little busy, and umm Im gonna need you to go ahead and come in on saturday, ummmkay, and then, yeah, Im going to need you to come in on Sunday too, mmmkay Peter

 

[hytek369]

Originally posted by: digitalsnare
yeah, ummm, okkkkk, i think we are getting a little busy, and umm Im gonna need you to go ahead and come in on saturday, ummmkay, and then, yeah, Im going to need you to come in on Sunday too, mmmkay Peter

lumberg

 

[5ayle]

Dom Portwood : Hello, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports.
Peter Gibbons : Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it.
Dom Portwood : Yeah. Uh, did you get that memo?
Peter Gibbons : Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. The problem is, I just forgot this one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even a problem anymore.
Dom Portwood : Yeah. It's just that we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports *before* they go out now. So if you could just remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. Alright! r

 

[macwinlin]

More Office Space quotes here

 

[bootymac]

My OHHHHHH face