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Office Space Part Deux

S

salt9876

Banned
You know, minimum security prison is no picnic. I had a client in there once. He said the trick is: kick someone's ass the first day, or become somebody's bitch. Then everything will be alright. :beer:
 
If we get caught, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.
 
PETER
That's a really good idea. (sits on the couch) Lawrence, what would you
do if you had a million dollars?

He sits down.

LAWRENCE
I'll tell you what I'll do, man--Two chicks at the same time.

Peter laughs.

PETER
That's it? If you had a million dollars, that's what you'd do, two
chicks at the same time?

LAWRENCE
Damn straight, man. I've always wanted to do that. I figure if I were a
millionaire, I could hook that up. Chicks dig guys with money.

PETER
Well not all chicks?.

LAWRENCE
Well, the type that double up on a guy like me do.

PETER
Good point.

LAWRENCE
NOW, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

PETER
Besides two chicks at the same time?

LAWRENCE
Oh yeah.

PETER
Nothing.

LAWRENCE
Nothing, huh?

PETER
I would relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.

LAWRENCE
You don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my
cousin. He's broke and don't do ******.
 
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.
 
DARK HELMET
What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?

COL SANDURZ
Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now.

DARK HELMET
What happened to then?

COL SANDURZ
We passed then?

DARK HELMET
When?

COL SANDURZ
Just now. We're at now, now.

DARK HELMET
Go back to then.

COL SANDURZ
When?

DARK HELMET
Now.

COL SANDURZ
Now?

DARK HELMET
Now.

COL SANDURZ
I can't.

DARK HELMET
Why?

COL SANDURZ
We missed it.

DARK HELMET
When?

COL SANDURZ
Just now.

DARK HELMET
When will then be now?

CORPORAL rewinds the tape. He stops at the point when LONE STARR, BARF, VESPA, and DOT are walking through the desert.
COL SANDURZ
Soon.

DARK HELMET
How soon?

CORPORAL Sir.
DARK HELMET
What?

CORPORAL We've identified their location.
DARK HELMET
Where?

CORPORAL It's the Moon of Vega.
COL SANDURZ
Good work. Set a course, and prepare for our arrival.

DARK HELMET
When?

CORPORAL Nineteen-hundred hours, sir.
COL SANDURZ
By high-noon, tomorrow, they will be our prisoners.

DARK HELMET
Hoooooo. (mask falls down)


Lollercoaster 🙂
 
So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
 
Originally posted by: Phoenix86
So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Click to expand...
That's fvcked up man.
 
Originally posted by: tweakmm
Originally posted by: Phoenix86
So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Click to expand...
That's fvcked up man.
Click to expand...

Just remember, if you hang in there long enough, good things can happen in this world. I mean, look at me.
 
Lawrence: [shouting through the wall from his apartment] Hey Peter, man, check out channel 9, it's the breast exams!
 
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