Office Question

[JJChicken]

Getting a bit annoyed at my co-worker, so I'm wondering if I'm overreacting.

I've built some strong relationships with senior management and they usually come back to me with queries. The emails are always addressed directly to me.

My co worker, who is CC'd on these emails, always tries to butt herself in and answer the queries. She starts her day before me, so I'll get an email overnight and by the time I'm in she has already replied.

I'm pissed off cause I worked to build these relationships. It's anagolous to a co worker stealing your clients imo...

The funny thing is that she is shite at communication , everybody thinks she is all over the place (which is why they normally come to me with queries).

She hasn't done this once, but rather many many times. I don't mind being a team player, buts she's pissing me off by trying to involve herself in the good relationships / work I have built.

Ultimately I'm just going to let it go, cause she's no threat to my career advancement. But it just pisses me off that she's so competitive and selfish. I always try to respect her role so I never reply to an email directed at her without asking if she needs help.

Or am I overreacting?

 

[OCGuy]

Anyone who works in an office and has any sort of position should receive their emails on their phone. I can't imagine only communicating during office hours...

 

[Newbian]

You need to tell the people sending the mail to stop cc'ing her if it's meant for you.

 

[OCGuy]

You need to tell the people sending the mail to stop cc'ing her if it's meant for you.

If I was CCing someone as a backup, and they always responded first, they would have a tough time convincing me that I should either stop copying the person or instruct them to stop responding.

 

[Pardus]

 

[slugg]

Delegate more work to her.

 

[JJChicken]

If I was CCing someone as a backup, and they always responded first, they would have a tough time convincing me that I should either stop copying the person or instruct them to stop responding.

Thanks. Next time she does it, I'm just going to say "You didn't have to, you really didn't!" but give her a little look to get the message across.

 

[gorcorps]

If you're upset because a coworker is also trying to answer questions than you must be a pretty insignificant peon. Given that she's getting the emails too AND that she had answers tells me that she's doing her job or at least trying to help. Maybe she's doing it for the wrong reasons (ie: just trying to look good by responding quick) but that's no different than you trying to look good either. Why is it okay when you do it but not her?

If she's really as bad as you say she is, then the quality of your response will still make an impact. When you respond to the original email are you responding to her reply or the original. If you send your own email pretty much ignoring her, you'll send the message that YOU are the one who will respond regardless of if she has already.

Regardless... bickering over who gets to brown nose is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

 

[rudeguy]

Thanks. Next time she does it, I'm just going to say "You didn't have to, you really didn't!" but give her a little look to get the message across.

Are you her boss?


I'm just trying to understand this. An email gets sent out to you and her. She responds before you and you are upset about it. Is she giving the wrong information? Or is it that you want to be the go to guy but someone else is going better than you?

FFS, check your email and reply from your phone if its that big of a deal to you. But honestly, you are being petty. Your "relationship building" sounds a hell of a lot like sucking up. And now someone is doing it better than you and you are butt hurt.

 

[z1ggy]

If she's no threat, why do you care?

If she sucks so bad, it will just make her look worse, and you better. I don't see the problem.

 

[JJChicken]

Are you her boss?


I'm just trying to understand this. An email gets sent out to you and her. She responds before you and you are upset about it. Is she giving the wrong information? Or is it that you want to be the go to guy but someone else is going better than you?

FFS, check your email and reply from your phone if its that big of a deal to you. But honestly, you are being petty. Your "relationship building" sounds a hell of a lot like sucking up. And now someone is doing it better than you and you are butt hurt.

I provide reporting to senior management, which they appreciate. They reply back, thanking me and addressing me directly. She is only CC'd because I want her to be kept in the loop of all communications.

Maybe I'm being petty, but its been adding up a lot Like one boss told me I did a great job. So she talks to him behind my back to ask for improvements, and he's like why you waste my time, I've already spoken to the OP.

I know its a small thing, so I'm not gonna do anything. But the general question stands,

Is it rude for somebody to reply to an e-mail not directly addressed to them?

If she was my boss, then no problemo. I can understand why she may feel like responding. But she's only a peer.

And yes, I am quite junior. But I worked hard to build good relationships for our team with senior management, I don't like her trying to get involved and her scatterbrain approach ruin the calmness and clarity of what I've built. Just so that she can raise her profile with senior management.....

 

[JJChicken]

If she's no threat, why do you care?

If she sucks so bad, it will just make her look worse, and you better. I don't see the problem.

Yeah, I shouldn't care. But a part of me cries inside everytime she makes a fool out of herself, cause it looks bad for our team.

Plus she's really ultra competitive. I've tried being nice to her, but to be honest I hate working with her.

If I work late, she calls me a "naughty boy" for staying up late. Then she tries to butt herself into all my work (and I'm quite junior so it's not good for my profile).

And she tries to prove me wrong everytime in front of others. I never do that, you should never bicker with team members in front of other teams, it does not send out a good image.

The problem is that she's pretty good at her job. I dunno why she needs to be so competitive. We have different skillsets, just co-exist.....

 

[z1ggy]

Yeah, I shouldn't care. But a part of me cries inside everytime she makes a fool out of herself, cause it looks bad for our team.

Plus she's really ultra competitive. I've tried being nice to her, but to be honest I hate working with her.

If I work late, she calls me a "naughty boy" for staying up late. Then she tries to butt herself into all my work (and I'm quite junior so it's not good for my profile).

And she tries to prove me wrong everytime in front of others. I never do that, you should never bicker with team members in front of other teams, it does not send out a good image.

The problem is that she's pretty good at her job. I dunno why she needs to be so competitive. We have different skillsets, just co-exist.....

Some people are just dicks. Sounds like there's not much you can do until you become her boss. Ultimately it's best for your team if you try to get along. Hopefully you have competent management that sees you trying to be the team player, and her as the one creating a negative work environment.

My job is not competitive at all, but there are people here that are "too big to fail", as in they've been here for so long they could fuck up all they want and never get the boot. You just have to deal..

 

[JJChicken]

Some people are just dicks. Sounds like there's not much you can do until you become her boss. Ultimately it's best for your team if you try to get along. Hopefully you have competent management that sees you trying to be the team player, and her as the one creating a negative work environment.

My job is not competitive at all, but there are people here that are "too big to fail", as in they've been here for so long they could fuck up all they want and never get the boot. You just have to deal..

That's so true. Yeah my management complemented me a lot in my performance review for making the team harmony very good.

Can't wait till I don't have to work with her ever again!!!

My original question stands (more of a hypothetical question now), do you guys think its rude for somebody to reply to an e-mail not addressed directly to them?

 

[BikeJunkie]

Your "relationship building" sounds a hell of a lot like sucking up. And now someone is doing it better than you and you are butt hurt.

Pretty much this, and this sort of behavior (the behavior you are exhibiting and the behavior of your coworker) is very common with junior / entry-level people, who oftentimes think that sucking ass is more important than (or even a substitute for) just doing your job and doing it well.

Is she being a little snotty by trying to "beat you to the bunch" on every email? Perhaps. Should you be losing any sleep over it? No, not if you're as good as you say you are and she's as bad as you say she is. If you work for reasonably intelligent people, they'll see right through her act (and yours if you're putting one on) and it will work against her.

If you work for stupid people who respond to suck-ups, then you either need to start checking your email off-hours to beat her to said punch or find another place to work (working for/with intelligent people is MUCH more pleasant than working for manipulative/manipulable Neanderthals).

 

[BikeJunkie]

Yeah, I shouldn't care. But a part of me cries inside everytime she makes a fool out of herself, cause it looks bad for our team.

Plus she's really ultra competitive. I've tried being nice to her, but to be honest I hate working with her.

If I work late, she calls me a "naughty boy" for staying up late. Then she tries to butt herself into all my work (and I'm quite junior so it's not good for my profile).

And she tries to prove me wrong everytime in front of others. I never do that, you should never bicker with team members in front of other teams, it does not send out a good image.

The problem is that she's pretty good at her job. I dunno why she needs to be so competitive. We have different skillsets, just co-exist.....

So what this is all really boiling down to is that you each feel threatened by the other. She feels threatened by your work ethic, and you feel threatened by her "games."

I've dealt with a coworker like this in the past as well, and my recommendation is to not lose too much sleep over it, but just cut her out of the loop as far as your dealings with other people. Then she wouldn't be able to butt in, try to take credit, try to cut you down in front of others, etc.

Basically, just start approaching things as if she weren't there. In my experience, this tends to make the other person's head explode, at which point they essentially hang themselves with the rope you've given them.

A little competitiveness in the office is normal, but she's grossly overcompensating for a lacking sense of self worth. I generally have little patience for that sort of thing, so I say let the games begin.

Good work ethic + good work product = generally wins out every time, especially if you help nudge her off the ledge

 

[cyclohexane]

Sorry, but op sounds like a douche. Do your job, don't worry about others.

"Relationship building" sounds like kissing ass, and she's doing a better job apparently.

 

[BikeJunkie]

Sorry, but op sounds like a douche. Do your job, don't worry about others.

"Relationship building" sounds like kissing ass, and she's doing a better job apparently.

Not sure how it makes him sound like a douche

Relationship building does pretty much equate to kissing ass, but unfortunately it's a necessary component of working in an office / corporate environment.

Still, there's no substitute for doing a good job and communicating well with others.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

I think you're being petty. She is obviously being copied by your senior management, so who cares if she answers? She is just trying to do her job and probably trying to build trust with senior management too, just like you did.

Your "relationship building" sounds a hell of a lot like sucking up. And now someone is doing it better than you and you are butt hurt.

Yep.

 

[NoCreativity]

My original question stands (more of a hypothetical question now), do you guys think its rude for somebody to reply to an e-mail not addressed directly to them?

If I am copied on a message I usually treat it as an FYI.

 

[rudeguy]

If I am copied on a message I usually treat it as an FYI.

if someone takes care of replying to an email for me, I usually treat it as less work for me. WIN!

 

[Lifted]

Are you part retriever? It appears your main motivation in life is a pat on the head.

 

[JJChicken]

I think you're being petty. She is obviously being copied by your senior management, so who cares if she answers? She is just trying to do her job and probably trying to build trust with senior management too, just like you did.



Yep.

I'll reply to the other messages tomorrow, but just before I sleep I want to clarify: I copied her on the messages as an FYI, senior management replied back using "reply all" addressing it directly to me.

I know its a very small thing, but my question is still the same - am I wrong in thinking its rude for somebody to reply back to an e-mail directed at me...

I think its common courtesy not to do that...in the same way I would never point out her mistakes in front of other people.

 

[rudeguy]

I'll reply to the other messages tomorrow, but just before I sleep I want to clarify: I copied her on the messages as an FYI, senior management replied back using "reply all" addressing it directly to me.

I know its a very small thing, but my question is still the same - am I wrong in thinking its rude for somebody to reply back to an e-mail directed at me...

I think its common courtesy not to do that...in the same way I would never point out her mistakes in front of other people.

are you her boss?

 

[BikeJunkie]

Are you part retriever? It appears your main motivation in life is a pat on the head.

LMAO :biggrin:

Let's be fair though and think back to when we were just getting our start. A pat on the head was oftentimes the only real meaningful feedback you had going for you. And given that most corporate structures resemble a pyramid, it was difficult setting yourself apart from all the other schleps, even if you were doing the best job. At that level, when you WERE the one doing the best job, you did need to be a little guarded and make sure management knew what time it was