For Win2000 you'd look in Control Panel > Display > Settings > Advanced, and there would be a Stereo tab. If it's not there, try another visit to nVidia's driver-download page. There are two different downloads.
I have a pair of the ELSA Revelators and unforunately the drivers nVidia's offering crash my system (immediate reboot) when I go into Direct3D mode in trueSpace 4.3 😛 Guess I should drag out those old 28.xx's and use them...
As far as refresh rate, LCD shutterglasses run at 1/2 of your monitor's refresh rate, so I hope you've got either a burly CRT that can do 120Hz+, or an LCD monitor. My old Optiquest V75 hits up to 160Hz (picked particularly for this ability).