Nursery Rhymes

[Jodell88]

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass'

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

 

[Amused]

These are older than Red Dawn

 

[QED]

Originally posted by: Amused
These are older than Red Dawn

True, but not quite as crusty.

 

[CorCentral]

Here are a few. A lot about Jack The last one's my favorite.


Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell in and could'nt swim
neither could Jill.

Jack be nimble Jack wasn't so quick
Jack burned his ass on the candlestick.

Little Jack Horner
sat in a corner
eating his Christmas pie
stuck in his thumb
pulled out a plumb
and said: Stick the rest in your eye!

Hickory Dickory Dock
three mice ran up the clock
the clock struck 1
and the rest escaped with minor injuries

 

[CorCentral]

I want to hear the different versions of all the Nursery Rhymes.

No one knows any more?

 

[mrSHEiK124]

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.

While wiping his chin,
He said with a grin,

"If my ear were a wise and beautiful woman, I could fuck it."

 

[jagec]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
so Jack could feel Jills fanny,
all Jack got was a handful of knob,
cos Jill was a fucking tranny.


Mary had a little lamb
she tied it to a pylon
10000 volts shot up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon


Mary had a little watch
She swallowed it one day
And so she took some castor oil
To pass the time away.
The castor oil it did not work
The watch refused to pass,
So if you want to know the time,
Just look up ...


at the clock.


Jack and Jill went up the hill
Both with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two-fifty
That slut.

 

[CorCentral]

Originally posted by: mrSHEiK124
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.

While wiping his chin,
He said with a grin,

"If my ear were a wise and beautiful woman, I could fuck it."

Damn dude, you ruined that one bad!

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who had a dick so long he could suck it
He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin
If my ear was a pussy I'd fuck it!


There once was a man named Bass
Who had balls made out of brass
When he clanged them together
They made stormy weather
And lightning shot out of his ass


There once was a man from Boston
Who drove around in an Austin
He wasn't too thin
Didn't quite fit in.....
His balls hung out and he lost 'em

 

[CorCentral]

Another Jack & Jill......


Jack and Jill went up the hill
They each had a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two and a half
Do you think they went up for water?

 

[Farang]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
and read a stupid thread
Angry Jack was urged to kill
Now the OP is dead.

 

[CorCentral]

Originally posted by: Farang
Jack and Jill went up the hill
and read a stupid thread
Angry Jack was urged to kill
Now the OP is dead.

Young Farang was seeking much
As he posts in all these threads
But to our dismay, it gets quite gay
When trying to Warmonger his stuff!

 

[CorCentral]

No one has any more?

 

[CorCentral]

A strapping young pirate named Bates
once tried to disco on skates
He fell on his cutlass
and now he is nutless
and practically useless on dates

Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was black as charcoal
and every time she stroked it,
white sparks flew out its a**hole

There was a young fellow named Paul
Who confessed, "I have only one ball
But the size of my dick
Is God's dirtiest trick,
For my girls always ask, 'Is that all?

Jack & Jill went up the hill
to smoke a little leaf
Jack got high, pulled down his fly,
and Jill said, "Where's the beef?"