EDIT: okay now that I got your attention 😛, plz read the jokes and vote, or just vote...I spent a long time typing them becuase my copying skillz when typing are bad...so I want more repsonces
Rate the jokes plz
Okay if these jokes suck sorry...but I liked em..., definately not the best ever, but they made me chuckle, and are nice and clean so I wanted to share
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During his spare time my brother, an attorney, volunteers on his town's fire and rescue squad. When I mentioned this to a friend he smiled and said, "Let me get this straight. Your brother is a laywer and an EMT, so he doesn't have to chase the ambulance, he's already in it?"
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The fist knocking on the door belonged to a cop. Bracing for the worst, my husband, who was working on a job site, opened the door.
"Is that yours?" asked the officer, pointing to a company van that was jutting out into the narrow street.
"Uhh yes it is," my husband said.
"Would you mind moving it?" asked the officer. "We've set up a speed trap and the van's causing everyone to slow down."
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During my first night flight, I asked my instructor what to do if the engine failed. "Get the plane in a controlled descent, attempt to restart the engine and make a Mayday call," he explained.
"The difference between day and night flying is that the terrain below will not be clearly visible, so turn on your landing light when you get close to the ground, and if you like what you see, land"
"All right, but what if I don't like what I see?" I asked.
"Turn off the landing light"
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Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me all your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man responded, "You can't do this. I'm a United States Congressman!"
"In that case give," the mugger replied, "give me all my money!"
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The story goes that a local car dealer, who was known to have taken advantage of some people in the community, wanted to purchase a cow from a farmer. So the farmer priced the cow in a way the car dealer could understand:
Basic Cow: $499.99
Shipping and Handling: $33.75
Extra Stomach: $79.25 each
Two-tone exterior: $142.50
Deluxe dual horns: $59.25
Automatic Fly Swatter: $74.55
Four spigot/high-output drain system: $149.20
Automatic fertilizer attachment: $339.40
Farmer's sugggested list price: $1,379.85
Additional dealer adjustments: $300.00
TOTAL LIST PRICE (including options, all prices subject to change with growth): $1,679.85
Hope you liked em 😛
I got more like those but I am tired of typing...
Rate the jokes plz
Okay if these jokes suck sorry...but I liked em..., definately not the best ever, but they made me chuckle, and are nice and clean so I wanted to share
-
During his spare time my brother, an attorney, volunteers on his town's fire and rescue squad. When I mentioned this to a friend he smiled and said, "Let me get this straight. Your brother is a laywer and an EMT, so he doesn't have to chase the ambulance, he's already in it?"
-
The fist knocking on the door belonged to a cop. Bracing for the worst, my husband, who was working on a job site, opened the door.
"Is that yours?" asked the officer, pointing to a company van that was jutting out into the narrow street.
"Uhh yes it is," my husband said.
"Would you mind moving it?" asked the officer. "We've set up a speed trap and the van's causing everyone to slow down."
-
During my first night flight, I asked my instructor what to do if the engine failed. "Get the plane in a controlled descent, attempt to restart the engine and make a Mayday call," he explained.
"The difference between day and night flying is that the terrain below will not be clearly visible, so turn on your landing light when you get close to the ground, and if you like what you see, land"
"All right, but what if I don't like what I see?" I asked.
"Turn off the landing light"
-
Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me all your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man responded, "You can't do this. I'm a United States Congressman!"
"In that case give," the mugger replied, "give me all my money!"
-
The story goes that a local car dealer, who was known to have taken advantage of some people in the community, wanted to purchase a cow from a farmer. So the farmer priced the cow in a way the car dealer could understand:
Basic Cow: $499.99
Shipping and Handling: $33.75
Extra Stomach: $79.25 each
Two-tone exterior: $142.50
Deluxe dual horns: $59.25
Automatic Fly Swatter: $74.55
Four spigot/high-output drain system: $149.20
Automatic fertilizer attachment: $339.40
Farmer's sugggested list price: $1,379.85
Additional dealer adjustments: $300.00
TOTAL LIST PRICE (including options, all prices subject to change with growth): $1,679.85
Hope you liked em 😛
I got more like those but I am tired of typing...
