NOW CLOSED ; List some movies you've watched recently. Theatre, rental, TV... and give a */10

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DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
13,782
2,284
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i watched a long, long 2-hour Dangerous Liasons - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094947/reference/

which back in 1988 won a shitload of stuffy, pompous awards, but today is just barely watchable.

Glenn Close and John Malkovich are two exceedingly evil people who, for little or no reason, like to fuck with other people's lives, though they have nothing to gain from this - sport, mostly.
John is willing to go along with this scheme for more or less the same non-reasons. It involves bonking a number of naive young girls, from the 17yo Uma Thurman, to the 30yo Michelle Pfeiffer. The dialogue is extremely roundabout, and delivered with a fervor that make me doubt if these people are human at all. In fact, i find it hard to relate to any of the protagonists, mostly because they are a caricature of "devilish will" in their intentions. Malkovich / Casanova / Valmont doesn't even do it for the pleasure of sex, he just does it because "i'm a piece of shit and this is what i do".

The film is terribly slow. There is never any sense of urgency, a mission that our protagonist must accomplish; the backstories of the characters are doled out with a dropper, and there is some thin sense that "revenge" is driving them, although not revenge against someone specific, but rather revenge as its own thing, "the world is evil and so i will be the evilest of them all" kind of nonsense.

The real draw of the film was that, by 1980s standards, this was a highly-erotically-charged film. If you were a typical, pudic filmgoer in 1988 and found this film titillating, you would have had a lot of non-erotic material to defend the film, while secretly just wanting to get your rocks off. Today, the same doesn't work anymore, and i'm just watching Glenn Close being a complete failure of a human being.

And the acting is the servant of the story. Nothing wrong with Close, or Malkovich, but a story that goes nowhere masquerading as a work of art.

Bonus, Uma Thurman, for being a twig, had a set of jugs on her. Michelle Pfeiffer is less interesting. Peter Capaldi plays a few lines as a valet, and none other than Jesus Keanu plays the role of the idiot, once again.

Throughout, due to the setting, i couldn't help thinking i would rather be watching Amadeus.

My vote: 6/10 - but not a film i would recommend in any way.
 
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DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
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And then i watched the same film, but bettah.

Valmont - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098575/reference/

Which is the same script, based on the same book as Dangerous Liasons.
But, not only starring a much more convincing Colin Firth as Casanova / Valmont, Fairuza Balk as the objet du desir, Annette Bening and Meg Tilly as the two main plot-leaders, whose motivations are far more clear and meaningful, and, you know, human. Valmont is a bonvivant, almost, a normal person. The dialogue makes sense, the motivations of the characterws are realistic, relatable. Well, to a point.
This film is even longer at 2h17m, but paced far better, making it a lot more pleasant to watch.

The file says "remastered" but by god, it's a garbage print.

My vote: 7/10 - and actually recommendable.
 

Charmonium

Lifer
May 15, 2015
10,014
3,179
136
Battleship 2012 - 9/10

I really didn't want to give it a 9 but, to my not-quite-discerning taste, I can't really find any significant flaws. The acting is OK and they spend a solid 40 minutes i'd say purely on char development. The thing is, it just feels sort of generic. I think a big problem from my pov, is the casting for the admiral's daughter - tall blonde, super model pretty - she's straight from 80's central casting. She didn't annoy me though, so there's that.

While this definitely counts as hard core scifi, it feels a bit like a disaster movie. But I thought it pretty original. Nothing happens the way you expect it to, which is a big plus. You have some macho flexing but I barely noticed it. Coming up with realistic ETs which you can still squeeze into bipedal frame is tricky, tricky, tricky. FX are quite good and surprisingly original. You're always going to run into aspects that are a bit derivative though. For example the aliens have devices that are reminiscent of those in The Langoliers.

Finally, it has Liam Neeson.
 

mikeymikec

Lifer
May 19, 2011
18,659
11,412
136
Going Postal (2010 2-episode series)

I enjoyed the book, but I think this mini series missed the mark. It lacked a lot of things like comedic timing, overall it just lacked.

The TV adaptation of 'Hogfather' hit the mark in terms of delivering what is good about Terry Pratchett's fiction, definitely part of my Christmas film staple.
 

mikeymikec

Lifer
May 19, 2011
18,659
11,412
136
Battleship 2012 - 9/10

I really didn't want to give it a 9 but, to my not-quite-discerning taste, I can't really find any significant flaws. The acting is OK and they spend a solid 40 minutes i'd say purely on char development. The thing is, it just feels sort of generic. I think a big problem from my pov, is the casting for the admiral's daughter - tall blonde, super model pretty - she's straight from 80's central casting. She didn't annoy me though, so there's that.

While this definitely counts as hard core scifi, it feels a bit like a disaster movie. But I thought it pretty original. Nothing happens the way you expect it to, which is a big plus. You have some macho flexing but I barely noticed it. Coming up with realistic ETs which you can still squeeze into bipedal frame is tricky, tricky, tricky. FX are quite good and surprisingly original. You're always going to run into aspects that are a bit derivative though. For example the aliens have devices that are reminiscent of those in The Langoliers.

Finally, it has Liam Neeson.

This review reads like a 5 or 6 out of 10 rather than 9. There's plenty of "not significantly flawed" films out there, it doesn't mean they're *good*, surely, let alone a rating that to me suggests that this is among the top ten best films you've ever seen?
 
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DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
13,782
2,284
126
This review reads like a 5 or 6 out of 10 rather than 9. There's plenty of "not significantly flawed" films out there, it doesn't mean they're *good*, surely, let alone a rating that to me suggests that this is among the top ten best films you've ever seen?
you tell him now
 

Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
30,316
10,814
136
This review reads like a 5 or 6 out of 10 rather than 9. There's plenty of "not significantly flawed" films out there, it doesn't mean they're *good*, surely, let alone a rating that to me suggests that this is among the top ten best films you've ever seen?


Far as I'm concerned Battleship was another "great in Youtube clips" movie.... you can watch every scene with alien vs battleship goodness in about 15-20 minutes. (and that's what I would suggest doing)

The special effects/CGI was fairly impressive (for 2012) and the acting/dialogue wasn't as terrible as the majority of schlock sci-fi but that's about as positive as I can be.

4/10
 
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Ajay

Lifer
Jan 8, 2001
16,094
8,109
136
Matrix Resurrections. Wow, that was bad. Poor script, meh acting, dumb plot, nothing special about CGI. Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss too old for decent fight scenes. Why was 'Smith' even in this movie??? Etc, Etc, Etc.

4/10.
 

DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
13,782
2,284
126
Battleship review
I watched something far more horrible than any horror film:

Battleship -
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt1440129/

Where nearly every second of footage makes no sense.

A huge-ass alien ship-thing-that-floats lands on earth with absurdly superior technology and is promptly defeated by a couple of minor US navy ships with mediocre crews.

No less than Liam Neeson has a minor, absolutely inconsequential role in this pile of shit, further ruined by an astoundingly incompetent Rhianna, plus a guy who is an officer who loses it when he needs to take charge which is literally the only thing he needs to be able to do, a token black vet, and a stern japanese commander who saves everyone with his stern commandness.

During the film the rules of reality are constantly being broken, where if you stand just over five feet away from shrapnel, you take no hits, and you can totally punch it out with a guy in power armor who just ripped out a bulkhead door. Alien weapons change effectiveness from scene to scene, enemy ships take forever to shoot, and generally speaking the film is a spamfest of implausibility.

CGI is overtly abundant and often difficult to make out the excessive detail of everything. Writing choices are horrid, "alien terminator stops his rampage to avoid killing one civilian, then immediately proceeds to destroy a highway causing countless deaths".

Acting goes from poor to abysmal, best of which is the scene where the first alien ship is destroyed, and Rhianna cannot even pretend to cheer. Please do not cast here ever again in anything, not even if the film is called "Rhianna, the story of Rhianna".

Battleship is a horrid film with no entertainment value, the villain is this supercool uberpowerful alien ship that is so strong you would naturally root for it, which then stops trying to win and is beaten by a bunch of morons in such an implausible and incompetent way as to skirt vulgarity.

My vote: 4.5/10 the ship is cool but the film is insulting.

Im in cravatland so i had nothing else to watch.
.hmm..
didnt like it.
 
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Charmonium

Lifer
May 15, 2015
10,014
3,179
136
This review reads like a 5 or 6 out of 10 rather than 9. There's plenty of "not significantly flawed" films out there, it doesn't mean they're *good*, surely, let alone a rating that to me suggests that this is among the top ten best films you've ever seen?
I can see why it comes across like that. I did point out some specific things that I was impressed by. And there were certainly more. But entertainment isn't something I take any sort of rigorous analytical approach to. That just looks suspiciously like 'work.'
 
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sactoking

Diamond Member
Sep 24, 2007
7,584
2,819
136
Finally got around to The Batman (2022) - 5.5/10

I've watched 8 Batman feature films and this is in the running for the worst. I know that Forever is widely considered bad and & Robin is thought to be the worst but at least those films don't take themselves seriously. This one tries to be all serious and brooding but really doesn't pull it off. For a movie that runs 2h 56min it seems like it spends about 2h 36 min not knowing what it wants to be. Dark, silly, faithful to the comics, gritty, dramatic, it tries to hit all those notes and seems like it misses them all.

Pattinson is serviceable as Batman but he's not good as Bruce Wayne. I had no idea that Colin Farrell was in the movie until I saw the credits.
 
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DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
13,782
2,284
126
Finally got around to The Batman (2022) - 5.5/10

Pattinson is serviceable as Batman but he's not good as Bruce Wayne. I had no idea that Colin Farrell was in the movie until I saw the credits.
i share both those sentiments.

I thought the film itself was ok, i had no complaints about it being dark and broody, although i recognize that it lacked inspiration. But i really liked Catwoman, i liked the fight scenes, and i thought the cinematography was interesting. I gave it a pass. Colin Farell was impossible to recognize under the mask.
 

UsandThem

Elite Member
May 4, 2000
16,068
7,380
146
The Leftovers 7/10

We never heard of it when it originally aired, but came across it browsing for shows on HBO Max, and decided to give it a try.

We are almost through the end of the 2nd season, and while it is a very interesting show, I still don't really fully understand what is actually going on. It's a show that keeps you guessing on what will happen next.
 
Jul 27, 2020
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Just read this review on imdb:

Well... Where do I start? I'm Cem, I live in a small town Babaeski, 200 miles west to Istanbul, Turkey. Forgive me for my english language, I'm still improving. I don't like writing reviews but I had to do it and it had to be this.

On a hot and sunny summer day, I started watching... this. Experience. Just like watching any other TV show, I grabbed my beer and chips, I leaned back and pressed the start button.

Then I couldn't stop. That beer was never finished. Chips gone stale. My mind just gone nuts, trying to comprehend the new reality, the new angle of vision of how I perceive life and death. The existence. Some episodes hit me so hard that I had to lock my room in case anyone enter and see me in tears. Never in my life have I cried with my chin trembling; even in most of the funerals I attended I ever gave a flinch.

I have made mistakes by recommending this masterpiece to everyone I know. Some of them hardly watched the first episode and got bored immediately.

Then I understood.

I understood that only those who can question their existence, their purpose; only those who seek a path to walk can apprehend what is going on in the story. So this show became my -sort of- bible, a sacred altar that hidden deep in my basement. I could only show this altar to those who are worthy. And not many people around me are worthy enough, I realized.

Surrounded by vast fields and lands, populated with a small-talk, small-do people, I felt alone. Got depressed about it. Got drunk, cried, started taking anti-depressants, recovered, found a dull job, watched TV again, went out with friends, got drunk, forgot all about it, forgot all about the show; at least I thought so.

Sometimes, when I'm happy, when everyone's happy and laughing and joking, I remember Nora. I remember Kevin. I remember Matt. My never-seen-in-my-life friends. Then that famous piano solo plays in my mind; like an echo coming from deep. I have an urge to reach them and hug them and tell them it's ok, you got this, everything will be all right. We are just specks of dust in this vast universe and we'll die as soon as we're born. We will not have all the answers we seek in this life. In this vast and scary universe, we only got each other. We only got who are still here. We only got who are left.

I have a beautiful girlfriend now; best imaginable. I'll marry her. She will always be with me till death. But that emptiness will always walk with me. I will not even mention this gap in my heart. This thought. This black stain that haunts me and keeps me up at night. We are in a scary universe and we are alone. Nobody will hold my hand when I die. Nobody will keep holding my hand when I walk the inevitable, cold, misty road. I'll be scared. God, what will I do when that time comes? A speck of dust like me, what importance I have anyway. I live and I die. I'll become a tombstone in this world, catching somebody's eyes in a year or so, for a moment, and forgotten eternally.

This is heavy. I don't know if this knowledge; this realisation, this "upper consciousness" is a blessing or a curse. Now that I'm "aware", I value every second of my life. Never I got bored since I realized how little time we got left. No matter how dull is my job, I have cared for everyone and everything that needed my attention and my help. I gave more than I take for myself granted. I 'll continue to help and bring joy to everyone I can reach.

But that black stain, that scary monster waiting in the shadows, the void stare in the mirror, the echoing solo coming from underground, two begging eyes, the hopeless me will be kept as a secret till I die.

Damn. Now I'm interested to see if this show can touch me as hard as it touched this guy.
 

DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
13,782
2,284
126
this guy loved it.
I am not denying his arguments, i just don't feel that they are enough to carry a 3h film.
 
Jul 27, 2020
20,040
13,737
146
Ode to joy 7/10

I almost didn't want to watch this movie coz Morena Baccarin looks like a vixen to me (her aunt in the movie calls her a fox) but Martin Freeman did a good job making the story work. Not a bad way to spend some time if you like romantic comedies.
 

Denly

Golden Member
May 14, 2011
1,433
229
106
Shadow in the cloud 6/10
1st half is great and Chloe killed it, the 2nd half is just stupid it was like 2 diff writers and 2 diff directors. Oh yet we got the msg loud and clear.

The Gray man 6.5/10
John Wick x Bourne and you got the idea.

Superman like main character is getting old and stupid, got shot at and knife at countless time and still walking wtf.
 
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DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
13,782
2,284
126
i tried, but failed, to watch all of

*breath* The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443680/reference/

sorry, went on for about 40 min and then couldn't take it anymore.

What is watched, is a cold open of Bob Ford, who is a weak willed individual, and wants to join the James gang because he imagines himself being "bound for greater things".
He is turned down by a few gangmembers, but Jesse is more of a pack leader and "doesn't care who rides with him".

They do a little bit of bandit stuff. This being a revisionist western, they don't paint a pretty picture of Jesse, he's a flat out bad man, even his own gang doesn't think he's a hero.

The rest of the film, from what i gather, is the devolution of Ford from stupid, deluded admirer of James, to disillusioned AND stupid hater of James. Betraying James to the law, Ford arranges to murder him, and does.

And that's really it.


Now, i gotta say, when i first watched the entirety of The Outlaw Josey Wales, i didn't like it, so maybe i'm not mature enough to appreciate this film, and maybe one day i'll have a better opinion of it. However, right now i'm not happy.
See, this film has a major problem.

Either the protagonist is Ford - with pretty solid acting from a nearly-unrecognizable Casey Affleck - in which case, it's just not pleasant to have to identify with such a loser. Ford has no redeeming qualities, and a minimal character arc from bad, to worse.

Or the protagonist is James - which the film clearly means to be - in which case you just get a bad ending where not only the hero dies, but the villain is a shit man who doesn't deserve it.

So, the best that you can hope for, is a documentary, and frankly if i had to watch a documentary about the very last days of life of Jesse James, i wouldn't watch this.
And if you really, really want to watch someone miserable being miserable, there's better films out there. Pick any from the filmography of P.S.Hoffman, idk, Synedoche or The Master.

No vote.

bonus: stuff that this film DOESN'T have.
 

Dr. Detroit

Diamond Member
Sep 25, 2004
8,262
724
126
Better Off Dead - 7.5/10

Caught this on Showtime and its one my favorite 80's teen flicks. This one is oh so much more with so random shit going on throughout the movie.
John Cusack stars, a role he does a fantastic job in playing as a quasi suicidal teen. The sub plots, the myriad of strange characters, the claymation. Its all so fucked up thank to the writer/director Savage Steve Holland.

The casting is ridiculous, but all the 80's teen movies stereotypical characters are in there. If you're a fan of the 80's its a must watch or rewatch!

 

JPS35

Senior member
Apr 9, 2006
884
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Better Off Dead - 7.5/10

Caught this on Showtime and its one my favorite 80's teen flicks. This one is oh so much more with so random shit going on throughout the movie.
John Cusack stars, a role he does a fantastic job in playing as a quasi suicidal teen. The sub plots, the myriad of strange characters, the claymation. Its all so fucked up thank to the writer/director Savage Steve Holland.

The casting is ridiculous, but all the 80's teen movies stereotypical characters are in there. If you're a fan of the 80's its a must watch or rewatch!
Burger Van Halen, nuff said:

 
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