Not sure how to handle this

[Exterous]

So, generally, evening food just shows up in front of me but last night was different. Apparently the magical food mixture was placed in a thing called 'an oven' where the magic percolates and turns into edible stuff. I was asked to watch it and remove it. Not knowing how magic works I apparently waited too long and the top got burned. Clearly this is not my fault. Who should I blame? My first instinct is my wife for leaving the kitchen for reasons other than getting sammich supplies. But if I spin this so its the oven's fault I might have a multi million dollar case against the manufacturer. Lastly I think Baby boomer's might also be to blame for sticking us with such obviously subpar cooking tools.

 

[Ichinisan]

Eat the evidence.

 

[cbrunny]

If your nose worked you'd have known it was burning. Probably your Coke dealer's fault.

 

[BxgJ]

Eat the evidence.

Given that it's morning it's likely too late for that. So can't hide the evidence, he needs to deflect blame or do damage control.

 

[CraKaJaX]

Some things are better with a burnt, crispy, crusty top. Ask your wife to bring you the vacuum to clean up some sand in the lower crevices of your body.

 

[nakedfrog]

Thanks, Obama!

 

[Exterous]

Eat the evidence.

There was too much to eat in one sitting. Its going to take a while to get rid of it all

Some things are better with a burnt, crispy, crusty top. Ask your wife to bring you the vacuum to clean up some sand in the lower crevices of your body.

Skyking just liked that because I can eat all the fuck you cheese I want while hes dealing with the sandy side effects of his diet

 

[Carson Dyle]

"Bitch! Where's my dinner?!!!"

 

[tynopik]

is you name Weiss per chance?
https://youtu.be/ycnJ1niuOTo?t=185

 

[Ns1]

Thanks Obama.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

In order of blame:

-Wife for marrying you in the first place
-Wife for leaving you alone in the kitchen
-Wife for not having the sense to run away by now. Or is that what she was doing when she left?
-The oven manufacturer for making things almost completely idiot-proof, but failing to make their product super-duper-mondo-biggest-idiot-on-earth-proof.
- Science for allowing things to be burned and for not coming up with animals that are pre-cooked.

You can't sue the wife. She won't have much and besides, it's half yours. And worst of all, she's married to you, so she's suffered enough.

You can't sue science or you'll get a lightning bolt up your ass when you least expect it, a meteor will fall on your house and killer bees will infest your armpits.

So yeah, sue the oven people.

 

[JulesMaximus]

I see someone hasn't mastered the complexity of the kitchen timer...

 

[Platypus]

blame muslim immigrants, it seems to work

 

[UnklSnappy]

Don't blame it on the oven. That will just result in tens of thousands of kitchen remodeling costs.

 

[BurnItDwn]

From the book "Scapegoating 101: them them under the bus."

Wife outsoured job to you, you outsourced job to _______
Blame _________
_______ can be kid(s), or the family pet(s) ... take your pick ,....

 

[Sho'Nuff]

Don't blame the oven. Do that and your wife will want a new oven. Then a new kitchen.

 

[JMC2000]

blame muslim immigrants, it seems to work

Add in illegals from Mexico, and somehow a ban will be placed where his wife will be unable to leave the kitchen.

How dare she do such a heinous thing as forcing this simple, God-fearing American(?) to watch the oven?

Sent from my SM-N910T3 using Tapatalk

 

[Exterous]

Add in illegals from Mexico, and somehow a ban will be placed where his wife will be unable to leave the kitchen.

How dare she do such a heinous thing as forcing this simple, God-fearing American(?) to watch the oven?

Sent from my SM-N910T3 using Tapatalk

I feel honored you spent one of your 0.27 posts a year on this

 

[JMC2000]

I feel honored you spent one of your 0.27 posts a year on this

Yeah, I don't post a lot on AT Forums, but recent events have made for interesting topics.

Sent from my SM-N910T3 using Tapatalk

 

[BoomerD]

I see someone hasn't mastered the complexity of the kitchen timer...

I thought that was why I have smoke detectors...

 

[Red Squirrel]

Definitely the wife's fault. A worker of stationary machinery (the oven) should at no time leave the general area while it is operating unless it is locked out and tagged out. You should have her go through the OSHA documentation pertaining to heat generating machinery as a refresher. You'll be eating pizza for a while.

Actually this kind of reminds me of this one time when I still lived with my parents, my mom got me to turn on the oven at a certain time when I get home to start boiling potatoes. Knowing absolutely nothing about cooking, I just assumed the time the told me was timed so that when she gets home, it can continue going for a little while and then be stopped. I would go check it once in a while to make sure nothing is catching on fire or anything but otherwise did not really touch it.

Then my dad got home, and he tended to be in the way a lot when he was in the kitchen, his supper was always this huge production and you better GTFO of his way. So I kinda assumed that since he was there he was taking over tending the pot. I did not want to go check it and be in his way. He was always really grouchy until he would finally sit down and eat.

At some point I started to smell something. all the water evaporated and they were burning in the pot. My dad moved the pot on the counter and it made a huge burn mark on it. My mom got home around the same time and now they were both on my back about it. HUGE ordeal. That burn mark stayed there as a reminder of my screw up. lol. Stupidity on my part for assuming a lot of things in the process, but at the time, I just did not know any better.

Men and cooking don't mix.

 

[rh71]

How can I subscribe to your newsletter?

 

[EliteRetard]

Actually this kind of reminds me of this one time...

Had a similar experience one time, cooking meat in a pan on the stove top. Somehow every instance of that event vaporized from my memory the instant meat was in the pan and I had turned it to high. After doing my own thing for a while some people showed up to do work outside the house. I decided to leave for whatever reason. Not to long after I'm alerted that the workers noticed the house may be on fire.

 

[MongGrel]

My wife used to burn things a lot of the time, she has learned once we started using digital thermometers, etc.

She has surpassed me on a few things on prep, cooking, etc, a little prodding on "you aren't doing it right" and it became a contest between the two of us.

Some things she does better than I do now, but we both cook, my sister in law is probably much better than either of us in regards to Italian from scratch.

 

[werepossum]

Most ovens are equipped with a timer which offers even finer control than a smoke detector. But when I was single, I adopted the stratagem that however it came out was how it was intended. If my mashed potatoes are somewhat crunchier, chewier, and blacker than most people's mashed potatoes, then clearly they need to broaden their horizons.