Not good.

[Alphathree33]

Cliffs:

-- Graduated from Engineering. Moved to a city an hour away. Been living here for six months.
-- The job is not what I expected. It takes a lot out of me and leaves me tired and exhausted.
-- I live by myself in a condo downtown.
-- My girlfriend remains in the city I came from and I see her every weekend. My weekends with her are great.

So my weekdays are absolutely horrible. On the one hand, I feel like I shouldn't "need" a girl to make me happy. But on the other hand, in this environment -- big city, exhausting job -- I see no way to be happy by myself.

I started feeling depressed about a month into this and it's been getting worse. It used to be just once or twice a week for a few hours, but I'd snap out of it.

Now it's all the time during the week. I feel totally helpless. The scary thought is that all I have to live for is my girlfriend and my weekends. If we ever had a big fight or something, that would disappear too.

That would leave me in this big city, alone, in a horrible job.

Also, while in college I could pick up girls like crazy because I had confidence in that environment. But here, there are so many people, and my job drags me down so much, it's hard to have a lot of confidence. The reaction I get from girls is correspondingly worse. They still try to talk to me, but it's harder than before.

I have been going out a few nights a week trying to meet new people around here, but it's hard when I'm in this state to be care-free and social.

I'm applying for jobs back in my home city so I can be with my girlfriend, but nothing has come up yet. Then again, it's only been a few weeks.

 

[AMCRambler]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
Cliffs:

-- Graduated from Engineering. Moved to a city an hour away. Been living here for six months.
-- The job is not what I expected. It takes a lot out of me and leaves me tired and exhausted.
-- I live by myself in a condo downtown.
-- My girlfriend remains in the city I came from and I see her every weekend. My weekends with her are great.

So my weekdays are absolutely horrible. On the one hand, I feel like I shouldn't "need" a girl to make me happy. But on the other hand, in this environment -- big city, exhausting job -- I see no way to be happy by myself.

I started feeling depressed about a month into this and it's been getting worse. It used to be just once or twice a week for a few hours, but I'd snap out of it.

Now it's all the time during the week. I feel totally helpless. The scary thought is that all I have to live for is my girlfriend and my weekends. If we ever had a big fight or something, that would disappear too.

That would leave me in this big city, alone, in a horrible job.

Also, while in college I could pick up girls like crazy because I had confidence in that environment. But here, there are so many people, and my job drags me down so much, it's hard to have a lot of confidence. The reaction I get from girls is correspondingly worse. They still try to talk to me, but it's harder than before.

I have been going out a few nights a week trying to meet new people around here, but it's hard when I'm in this state to be care-free and social.

I'm applying for jobs back in my home city so I can be with my girlfriend, but nothing has come up yet. Then again, it's only been a few weeks.

Sounds like you're on the right track. Disliking your job is one thing, but if you're absolutely miserable then you've got to make a change. Even if it means less money, move back and be with your girlfriend. The sooner the better.

 

[Modelworks]

Sounds like the crappy job is the root of your problems.
Find another job.
Even if it pays less or isn't in the field you went to college for.
No job is worth your sanity.

Several years ago I was the head of a warranty repair center for rca/ge.
I was the head tech there, the owners business depended on me . I had the corporation to answer to daily. It was all on my shoulders.
How could I leave that job ? How could I let all those people down ?
That job drove me to the brink of suicide.


One morning I got up and said , thats enough, no more.
I quit.
Changed my field of work to something I loved, 3d graphics.
And haven't looked back.

I would work in fast food before I would work at a job that made me wonder what I have that makes life worth living.

 

[mobobuff]

You're very far from rock bottom, you still have many things to be thankful for.

If you're missing the one person you love and you're feeling alone and depressed, you need to move back. You need someone to fall asleep with and wake up next to every day, when you can do that with someone you love, it's very hard to be depressed.

 

[SlickSnake]

Well, it is not that good to depend on someone else so completely for your own happiness. As you pointed out, if it wasn't for her, you don't know what you would do. You need to find some part of your free time that will make you snap out of it and realize you can be happy on your own, too. Maybe not as blissfully happy as with her, but still happy and content just being by yourself.

Invite her to visit you, and maybe she will want to stay there more often or even move in with you there. Tell her how great it is there, but it would be so much better with her there with you. Don't give her the impression you can't deal with just being alone, though. Otherwise, she might also get nervous about you being too clingy or something and give her cold feet down the road, just because of that.

Cheer up, all things in life are pretty transitory and can change on a moments notice.

=)

 

[D1gger]

Originally posted by: SlickSnake
Well, it is not that good to depend on someone else so completely for your own happiness. As you pointed out, if it wasn't for her, you don't know what you would do. You need to find some part of your free time that will make you snap out of it and realize you can be happy on your own, too. Maybe not as blissfully happy as with her, but still happy and content just being by yourself.

Invite her to visit you, and maybe she will want to stay there more often or even move in with you there. Tell her how great it is there, but it would be so much better with her there with you. Don't give her the impression you can't deal with just being alone, though. Otherwise, she might also get nervous about you being too clingy or something and give her cold feet down the road, just because of that.

Cheer up, all things in life are pretty transitory and can change on a moments notice.

=)

:thumbsup:

Read the above post again very carefully. It contains much wisdom.

If you tie your happiness to your gf, you are at great risk of crashing if for some reason your relationship fails. You owe it to yourself to be happy on your own, not because your gf "makes you happy".

I'm not saying you have to stay in your current job / city, but I would suggest you find a way to be happy without relying on someone else.

 

[purbeast0]

join a gym, that'll give you something to look forward to after work and it'll have nothing but positive results for you.

i'm a software engineer and am at a computer 8 hours a day, and while it mentally can be exhausting, i love going to the gym right after work 3 days a week.

 

[HannibalX]

Big City = lots of jobs. Try to find another job in the city. Move your GF to the city.

 

[Platypus]

You have started many threads concerning these issues and while I don't mean to belittle them, there has been some great advice given in them that I think you just need to heed. Being grown up sucks and everyone goes through this. You just need to find a healthy outlet.

 

[Vonkhan]

join a gym

get a pet

get involved in some group activity or hobby

realize that only you can make yourself happy

 

[HannibalX]

Maybe you need to start a Fight Club... or start going to recovery groups. Is your alternate personality plotting the downfall of the credit card industry?

 

[LS20]

so.... you post one of these every week. perhaps a blog is in your future

 

[moshquerade]

grab a guy friend from work and hit a bar for a few drinks and to watch a game. no reason to be such an introvert. humans are social animals - be social. it's good for the psyche.

also, i agree, work on moving back to be with your girlfriend. that seems to be a good solution.
btw, stop thinking you are becoming depressed. you're not near that diagnosis.