NM

[slackerinabox]

s

 

[Platypus]

sucks

 

[KingNothing]

No!

 

[Aimster]

you hitting that?

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: Aimster
you hitting that?

nope, just an actress I work with...

 

[Platypus]

I'm trying to find more dead-horse beaten cliches you can squeeze into such a small time frame, I think you nailed all the big ones on the head.

 

[user1234]

not bad

 

[konichiwa]

Aspect ratio looks fukced up, and...you can see the camera hardware at like :54 for several seconds (bottom left hand corner of the frame)

 

[Ameesh]

OMG!!! OH NO! AIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! NOOOOOO!O!OO!O!!!!

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

wtf??

 

[Twista]

Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation
sucks

 

[CanOWorms]

you seem to be heavily influenced by the Muppet Babies, Teletubbies, and Power Rangers

 

[Ameesh]

well my serious response is you need to stop watching soo much TV on the Lifetime channel.

 

[UglyCasanova]

This was for a class I assume? If so, what was the actual assignment?

 

[wfbberzerker]

-when the chick is standing by her door, it seems like she pauses before opening it, and it seems a bit awkward.

-the fading in/out between scenes is too quick, try slowing it down some to make them "flow" into eachother better

-the song makes me cringe

-the camera equipment is in the scene (as konichiwa said) at :54

-kinda cliched, as corporaterecreation so elegantly put

however, not bad

 

[Hossenfeffer]

:thumbsdown:

 

[PHiuR]

wow..interesting...

 

[slackerinabox]

dp

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: wfbberzerker
-when the chick is standing by her door, it seems like she pauses before opening it, and it seems a bit awkward.

-the fading in/out between scenes is too quick, try slowing it down some to make them "flow" into eachother better

-the song makes me cringe

-the camera equipment is in the scene (as konichiwa said) at :54

-kinda cliched, as corporaterecreation so elegantly put

however, not bad

thanks for all the advice -i'll fix everything that you mentioned. The song is a temp song until something better is found.

thanks for catching the equipment - i didnt' see it! it's an easy fix though (the letterboxing is screwy and should have hid that).

 

[bradruth]

Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation
I'm trying to find more dead-horse beaten cliches you can squeeze into such a small time frame, I think you nailed all the big ones on the head.

It's missing the clown flipping the pancake.

Keep the music, btw.

 

[Excelsior]

Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation
sucks

 

[pulse8]

I'm sorry. I know I've asked this before, but do you have anything that you've actually completed?

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: pulse8
I'm sorry. I know I've asked this before, but do you have anything that you've actually completed?

haha, valid question - post my works in progress here because I take the constructive criticism and eventually fix the pieces based on the criticism.. posting finished products would just be kinda showy.. but i'll post some if you'd like..

 

[pulse8]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: pulse8
I'm sorry. I know I've asked this before, but do you have anything that you've actually completed?

haha, valid question - post my works in progress here because I take the constructive criticism and eventually fix the pieces based on the criticism.. posting finished products would just be kinda showy.. but i'll post some if you'd like..

Why don't you just post them when they are done and show the roughs to your classmates and teachers?

You may get a better response than showing people half finished work, especially when most of the people here have no idea what it takes to make a movie.

 

[wfbberzerker]

oh, i also thought of something else.

why is the woman walking so weird? it feels very awkward to watch it, you might just want to have her walk slowly instead, unless you are trying to send a message or she is supposed to walk like that to express something