Valles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for the Martian Air Force is denouncing the persistent rumor that an alien spacecraft crashed in the desert outside of Ares Vallis several greths ago. Appearing at a press conference today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that "the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude weather balloon, not an alien spacecraft".
The story broke when an Air Force officer stationed at nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles Marineris Daily Record with a story about a strange, balloon-shaped object which allegedly came down in the nearby desert, bouncing several times before coming to a stop, "deflating in a sudden explosion of alien gases". Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the Daily Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report.
General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert were blatant fiction, provoked by incidences involving swamp gas. But the general public has been slow to accept the Air Force's explanation of recent events, preferring to speculate on the "other-worldly" nature of the crash debris, particularly the cryptic incription, "NASA", which is engraved in metal fragments recovered from the scene.
Conspiracy theorists have questioned Rgrmrmy's "swamp gas" statements, pointing out that Mars has no swamps.
The story broke when an Air Force officer stationed at nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles Marineris Daily Record with a story about a strange, balloon-shaped object which allegedly came down in the nearby desert, bouncing several times before coming to a stop, "deflating in a sudden explosion of alien gases". Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the Daily Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report.
General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert were blatant fiction, provoked by incidences involving swamp gas. But the general public has been slow to accept the Air Force's explanation of recent events, preferring to speculate on the "other-worldly" nature of the crash debris, particularly the cryptic incription, "NASA", which is engraved in metal fragments recovered from the scene.
Conspiracy theorists have questioned Rgrmrmy's "swamp gas" statements, pointing out that Mars has no swamps.
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