- Jan 2, 2001
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Commplete News Article
The following are supposedly new trends out there. Are they insane?
Meat hook hanging: Florida kids are spending their carefree summer days dangling from meat hooks inserted into their shoulders. While one should never underestimate the desire to appal one's parents, this still seems so sick it almost makes me see the appeal of...
Knuckle reduction: Supposedly the latest thing: Slicing a joint off one's fingers to look cool. Mothers everywhere are begging, "Oh, honey, why can't you do something nice, like pierce your tongue?"
Raw food: Ugh. Slimy and gross. Raw foodies won't touch anything cooked, like bread or chicken, so they substitute things like paper-thin turnip slices for pasta. Real nutritionists say any health benefits are bunk. In fact, the movement's basic tenet - that cooking food destroys its "life essence" - is so silly it reminds me of yoga. Which reminds me of -
Yoga! I know. Already established. But once they're selling yoga shoes even though you're supposed to do yoga without shoes, it should be over, right?
Cuddle parties: Parties where strangers in their pj's get together for a big group hug. Think slumber party plus orgy equals anonymous sex minus ghost stories. Lose/lose.
Mini-motorcycles: Also known as pocket bikes, these are 45 cm motorised versions of real hogs, upon which hip, happenin' adults crouch, zoom and get run over. Perhaps on their way to a cuddle party.
additional article on the meat hook thing here.
The following are supposedly new trends out there. Are they insane?
Meat hook hanging: Florida kids are spending their carefree summer days dangling from meat hooks inserted into their shoulders. While one should never underestimate the desire to appal one's parents, this still seems so sick it almost makes me see the appeal of...
Knuckle reduction: Supposedly the latest thing: Slicing a joint off one's fingers to look cool. Mothers everywhere are begging, "Oh, honey, why can't you do something nice, like pierce your tongue?"
Raw food: Ugh. Slimy and gross. Raw foodies won't touch anything cooked, like bread or chicken, so they substitute things like paper-thin turnip slices for pasta. Real nutritionists say any health benefits are bunk. In fact, the movement's basic tenet - that cooking food destroys its "life essence" - is so silly it reminds me of yoga. Which reminds me of -
Yoga! I know. Already established. But once they're selling yoga shoes even though you're supposed to do yoga without shoes, it should be over, right?
Cuddle parties: Parties where strangers in their pj's get together for a big group hug. Think slumber party plus orgy equals anonymous sex minus ghost stories. Lose/lose.
Mini-motorcycles: Also known as pocket bikes, these are 45 cm motorised versions of real hogs, upon which hip, happenin' adults crouch, zoom and get run over. Perhaps on their way to a cuddle party.
additional article on the meat hook thing here.
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