New redneck jokes? Funny stuff...

[kbm5]

I haven't heard these ones before, so here goes:

You might be a redneck if...

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side
The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.
You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.
You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.
A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of home improvement.
You've ever used a toilet brush as a backscratcher.
You've ever asked the preacher, "How's it hangin'?"
You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65mph.
Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.

Any more?

 

[gopunk]

One day, Billy Bob came home to find his son, Billy Joe banging his sister, Billy Jean. He was shocked, "How could you cheat on your mother like that?"

 

[kbm5]

<< One day, Billy Bob came home to find his son, Billy Joe banging his sister, Billy Jean. He was shocked, &quot;How could you cheat on your mother like that?&quot; >>



Wait a sec... Billy Jean is whose sister: Billy Joe or Billy Bob?

Maybe that's part of the joke, but I'm not sure.

 

[trmiv]

Having rednecks in my family I am extremely offended by this thread and I want it locked. I am now going to go to &quot;Forum Issues&quot; and tattletale on you people like a little school kid.

 

[RDMustang1]

I think Billy Jean is Billy Bob's sister, he married his sister and his son was having sex with his mother (aka his aunt)

 

[kbm5]

It could be that if Billy Jean is Billy Joe's sister, then Billy Bob fathered both Billy Jean and Billy Joe. Billy Jean is both Billy Bob's wife and daughter!

AAAGGHHHH!!! TOO MUCH THINKING!!

 

[BooneRebel]

<< It could be that if Billy Jean is Billy Joe's sister, then Billy Bob fathered both Billy Jean and Billy Joe. Billy Jean is both Billy Bob's wife and daughter!

AAAGGHHHH!!! TOO MUCH THINKING!! >>



Right, Billy Jean and Billy Bob are second cousins on their mothers side. I get it!

 

[geno]

That's Grade-A hickbashing right there Funny stuff

 

[NuclearNed]

What's the first thing a redneck says after sex?




























&quot;Light my cigarette, Daddy.&quot;

 

[KiltedFool]

Definition of a redneck virgin: a girl that can outrun her brother.

Redneck says &quot;I'd like to introduce you to my wife and sister&quot; I turn around there's one girl standing there.

See a guy in overalls wearing only one shoe, ask him &quot;Hey, lose a shoe?&quot; he says &quot;Nope, found one.&quot;

KF

 

[0ops]

my favorite is still:
... if your home is mobile and your car isn't

 

[rudder]

Hey rednecks are nice people. Met one here in Tennessee a real nice guy. Took me to is house to meet is wife and sister. he introduced me and I was baffled since there was only one person standing there.

 

[Cenalian]

What about a few of my favs:
... if you mow your lawn and find a car.
... if your family tree doesn't fork
... You think the last words of the national anthem is &quot;Gentlemen, start your engines!&quot;
... Your family is half your town's population
... You take a nap with at least one hand tucked inside your pants.
... You use the shaving cream made for tough beards...and so does your husband
... You think virgin wool comes from ugly sheep.
... You think a lavatory is a breed of dog.
... Speling ant tha eazist thang you evar tryed.