A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet
known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium."
Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant
deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a
force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons. Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as
it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete
when it would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes
a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and
assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Administratium's mass actually increases
over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes.
This moron-promoting characteristic has lead some scientists to speculate that Administratium
is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
You'll know it when you see it...
known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium."
Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant
deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a
force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons. Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as
it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete
when it would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes
a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and
assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Administratium's mass actually increases
over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes.
This moron-promoting characteristic has lead some scientists to speculate that Administratium
is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
You'll know it when you see it...
Facebook
Twitter