never share a dog, opinions wanted pls

[Stifko]

My ex roommate is an old friend of mine. We go back like 25 years. He just got married last year and had a baby a few months ago. Around 5 or 6 years ago he was a bit down on his luck and needed a place to stay. Like a good friend I let him move in with me. He lived with me for almost a year. During that time he got very close with my dog, Buster. They got along great and I think Buster likes him more than me. He never scolded the dog and let him sleep in bed with him. That bad habit that stayed with the dog. He sleeps on my bed while I am at work, but thats not the point of this post.

He would take the dog for weekends in the country. His Mom lives down in South Jersey and she likes Buster too.

During on of those jaunts to Jersey, the dog got bit by a deer tick and came down with Lyme disease. This has aged the dog tremendously and he now has reoccuring spells of Lyme. Buster now needs antibotics and other meds that I don't think I should be saddled with the responsibilty of getting. My friend brought the dog back to me last time with the instructions for me to make a vet app't, atke him there and re-up his meds. I have not done it and and very resentfull for having been told this. He got the dog sick and now I have to take care of him. This is not fair, what do you think ?

 

[notfred]

It's not your friend's fault that the dog got bit by a tick. You're acting like your friend injected the dog with lyme disease. It seems obvious that your friend cares more about the dog than you do, maybe you should give it to him.

 

[marquee]

if i was in the same situation, i'd take care of the dog first without griping about who should pay for it. granted its unfair your friend got the dog sick, but its still your dog.

 

[BDawg]

He's your dog, your responsibility. Your friend should probably help out though.

 

[PunDogg]

maybe just ask him to split the costs and the work. thats all you can really do

Dogg

 

[Stifko]

To me the point is not the money, but how my buddie handled this whole situation.
I don't like the way he just brings the dog back to me sick and tells me to take care of him.

 

[Geekbabe]

My housemate Susan has a cat named Buddy who my SO and I love dearly.Buddy spends most of his days on our floor,he sleeps with us at night.
However,he is STILL Susan's cat and has been her cat for 15 yrs.Buddy's Vet care and resultant bills are Susan's,however we Buddy enough that if
a situation were to arise where Buddy needed care Susan couldn't afford on her own we'd chip in rather than watch Buddy suffer.



Btw,Susan still loves Buddy and has expressed gratitude that he finds comfort on my floor of the house all she asks is that I get Buddy into the carrier
for Vet trips and give him his eye medications and help feed him

 

[TwinkleToes77]

Buster could have gotten the deer tick anywhere had he not gotten it at that time. It's not your friends fault. I'm sure he probably feels awful about it as it is though.
Maybe he didnt tell you to make the appt and all to leave you with the burden of doing it. Maybe he is just looking out for the dog and reminding you that he needs a vet appt and refill on meds.

 

[UpGrD]

Its your dog so your bill. If there is any ambiguity on ownership, Its time to ween your friend and dog away from each other.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Sounds to me that you can boil this issue down to communication between you adn your friend.

If your friendship sounds like its probably worth the effort to at least tell him that you get irritated when he tells you how to care for your dog. Leave the money part out of it.

The anger you feel towards your friend (i.e., you still blame him for getting your dog sick) is probably a result of you simply being frustrated by the way your friend is bossing you around. Deal with that irritation and probably the rest will work itself out.

Leave money out of it. That will go no where. Unless you really need help caring for the dog.

 

[SP33Demon]

Start an AT fund for your dog. I'd chip in a couple bux if you can't afford it. But we want pics, and proof of vet bills!

 

[Stifko]

Thanks for the help, the advice is very helpfull. I do blame him for making Buster sick, its true. I never took the dog anywhere that a deer tick could have got him. There are no deer in Manhattan or the Bx. People drift apart. I don't feel as close to him as I once did. Explaining to him how I feel about this and opening up a Pandora's box is not an appealing option to me. I will take care of the dog and keep the rhetoric to a bare minimum. I will harbor resentment though, thats what I do. Its just not worth it to me to break it all down to him. He is married with child now and a lot of this will just be water under the bridge in a few years. Buster is pushing 13 now. I wish that he was healthier in his golder years, but whats done is done.

This has uncovered for me a deeper rooted problem w/in myself that I have not fully gotten my arms around yet.

BTW, this is not a money issue. I have spent loads of cash on that mutt and will continue to do so. I had to spend a thousand dollars right after I got him on surgery. He has been a money pit but I love him.

thanks again

 

[maziwanka]

Originally posted by: notfred
It's not your friend's fault that the dog got bit by a tick. You're acting like your friend injected the dog with lyme disease. It seems obvious that your friend cares more about the dog than you do, maybe you should give it to him.

sorry i thought i had wrote something. i agree with this quote, but also want to add something - this is an issue between your friend and yourself. if the dog needs some medication then get that taken care of (assuming your financially able to). i do agree that your friend should help you out with the bills though, but work out that situation later. right now you need to get your dog the medication he needs and deserves.

 

[Czesia]

Originally posted by: BDawg
He's your dog, your responsibility. Your friend should probably help out though.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Originally posted by: Stifko
Thanks for the help, the advice is very helpfull. I do blame him for making Buster sick, its true. I never took the dog anywhere that a deer tick could have got him. There are no deer in Manhattan or the Bx. People drift apart. I don't feel as close to him as I once did. Explaining to him how I feel about this and opening up a Pandora's box is not an appealing option to me. I will take care of the dog and keep the rhetoric to a bare minimum. I will harbor resentment though, thats what I do. Its just not worth it to me to break it all down to him. He is married with child now and a lot of this will just be water under the bridge in a few years. Buster is pushing 13 now. I wish that he was healthier in his golder years, but whats done is done.

This has uncovered for me a deeper rooted problem w/in myself that I have not fully gotten my arms around yet.

BTW, this is not a money issue. I have spent loads of cash on that mutt and will continue to do so. I had to spend a thousand dollars right after I got him on surgery. He has been a money pit but I love him.

thanks again

Just remember, that your friend has also enriched your dogs life. If you are going to keep score, you should look for both the positives and negatives. You'll work it out.

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: Stifko
To me the point is not the money, but how my buddie handled this whole situation.
I don't like the way he just brings the dog back to me sick and tells me to take care of him.

Well, would you rather him have not told you?
OK, he got the dog sick, but he took the time to diagnose the dog and find out how to treat the disease. I don't know what else he could have done...

 

[MacBaine]

If your son got hurt while playing with his friend out in the forest (somewhere that you never take him), would your son's friend be responsible for paying for it?

 

[Entity]

Originally posted by: notfred
It's not your friend's fault that the dog got bit by a tick. You're acting like your friend injected the dog with lyme disease. It seems obvious that your friend cares more about the dog than you do, maybe you should give it to him.

I agree.

Rob

 

[AlienCraft]

Let's recap.....

you have jealous feelings about your dogs relationship with your friend,
you hold resentment,
you have trouble expressing real feelings with friends, and as a result
You are neglecting your dog as a way of punishing your pet and your friend.
Please, grow up. Take care of your dog FIRST, then check your own eye for "logs" before griping about your friends "splinters".
Apparently there is some underlying issue between you and your friend that is affecting how you deal with your pet. I think he never thanked you enough and you are feeling taken advantage of.